I'm Back

FranP

Hi all well it has been a loooong time since i have been on here and i'm glad to be back. so much has happened since i was last on here,  .  sadly In 2015 i left my support group as I just felt the group wasn't what i had joined and  was becoming a morning tea / lunch with the girls group, plus at times got very bitchy, i disagreed with allot of the things that the co-coordinator wanted and even though I was facilitator it didn't seem to matter and monies raised went to places i disagreed with etc..    i joined to help and support  not to become a lunch group and that's all it was  in the end.. so i sadly left , i still visit women if called upon as a community liaison. . I think i mentioned at one stage cant remember to long ago that my closest friend heather had ovarian cancer sadly she passed away in 2013 and it took a harder toll on me than i thought , plus since then i have lost other friends to cancer and suicide from depression which i can identify with as i have suffered major clinical depression anxiety and ptsd all my life since i was 6 years old anyway . the start of 2016 wasn't a good time for me i had a major nervous breakdown no warning signs like normal just bang the bottom of the pit and it took me the twelve months to crawl my way out again with lots of support from my always supportive wonderful husband Daryl and a Great GP and Mental health team.
so I am back and looking forward to catching up with everyone and seeing what is new on here and I may even do another mini field if i can get around this bloody shire as usual . I hope every one is cruising along okay or as well as can be considering. so far my cancer is behaving had my mammo and u/s two weeks ago and was okay they go very thorough seeing as i am brca1 and triple neg pos. and i had a high grade 3. 
ten years this year a huge milestone which i didn't think i would meet many i was diagnosed with and did my community liaison training with didn't , i use to feel why am i so lucky now i feel live for all of them and me. 
love to you all Frannie 

rowdy

Welcome back 10 years that is great and really good to hear you got yourself out of the dark deep pit.
Sending you a hug x

SoldierCrab

woo hoo Ten (10) years that is awesome Frannie....  I am just 4 years out now and I am very happy to not have a recurrence. sometimes leaving a group is what we personally need to do if it is not working for us. 
I struggle with mood swings since my treatment and that is like a gift the cancer left me. 
hugs and energy 
Soldier Crab aka Alice 

FranP

thanks for the reply and hope things keep improving for you, 

Brenda5

Way to go Fran! Congratulations on 10yrs cancer free. That's a huge milestone. I imagine you have learned some things to help pull you out of the dark times. Got any tips? I agree its darned scary like you are spiralling down and I do my best to cling to the sides and not go down. Hugz

FranP

hi Brenda my depression stems well before my cancer but , i have been lucky to have  a wonderful supportive husband and medical team. . i am so sorry you you are having down times i truely feel for you but just to be on here and to be open with me is a true measure of the strength you have in side . and that is what keeps us going our strength sometimes we dont feel it's there be we wake every morning and there are things that even in the worst of times can still make us smile . . i always thought of my cancer as a hurdle and i just had to jump it day by day some days , some one would make it higher than i thought i could cope with but there i was the next day ready to jump again , and as the days went on it did improve i still had shit days which is normal considering what we go through. but i put it into perspective when i saw little children doing the same as me and they were smiling so their parents wouldnt be afraid i thought wow they are so inspirational and it helped me to try and be stronger , please dont bash your self up about having down days its a normal reaction to a shitful situation and all you can do is do things that you know will make you happy no matter how yuk you feel. i wish you well lady and biiiiig hugs from me to you .

socoda

Hi Fran, How awesomely inspiring that you're celebrating 10 years AND you've come through the other side of your breakdown. 

You are obviously an incredibly strong woman, so glad you have come back to the forum. Big happy hugs to you. Xx Cath

FranP

thanks its great to be back amongst all you wonderful inspirational women

SoldierCrab

Fran loved your explanation of the hurdles, I actually used that type of scenario with a friend and I said some days I just crawled under then hurdle I still got passed it but in a different way... Hugs Alice