Christmas having the right perspective.
Life with Greyson + ParkerLike Page
This is a very tender area, and one I know intimately. Christmas doesn't look like you expected. It may not look like the holiday you grew up with. It does not look like the holiday you expected to create and participate in as a grown up.
And that can hurt and ache and feel like loss. It feels like the death of something that everyone else takes for granted. Maybe it's divorce, or death, or autism or a million other life circumstances that just happen to us. The holiday may feel sad and empty and meaningless and lacking of joy. And then there is guilt for feeling those icky feelings so intensely.
My boys not understanding Santa has felt heartbreaking in moments. Not being able to write letters to Santa, or write a Christmas wish list, or sit on Santa's lap or do that damn Elf on a Shelf has siphoned out joy in some moments. But sometimes it actually feels strangely... hopeful. Like I know if autism wasn't in our life right now, I'd be focusing on the wrong things this Christmas Season. (I'm awesome at that sometimes.)
Advent- the time we are in now leading up to the birth of little baby Christ- is a time for hopefulness. It's not a time for perfect, it's not a time for neurotic, it's not a time for family stress, it's not a time for heartache, and it's not about stuff. It's simply a willingness to be hopeful about your life. Even if you don't know quite yet what you are being hopeful for.
Once apon a time, there was a guy named Joseph and he was engaged to his amazing gal, Mary. Out of nowhere Joseph finds out Mary is pregnant, although Joseph and Mary were not yet married. (That was MAJOR no-no back then.) According to the law at the time, Joseph could have had Mary put to death. Instead, he wanted to take care of her and ensure her safety and he didn't want her to be publicly disgraced.
Joseph decided ending his engagement to Mary quickly and quietly was the best choice for all involved. One night Joseph has a dream in which an angel of the Lord appeared and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."
I imagine this was NOT the life Joesph ever could have ever expected. I'm sure he was FREAKING OUT, maybe even sad, mourning the life he thought he and Mary were going to have, the life he had EXPECTED. A life like everyone else's. At the time he had no way of knowing that this was actually a miracle and a gift waiting to happen. None of us do when we are right in the middle of letting go of what we expected. We have no way of seeing into the future. It was said that Joseph was scared to bring a baby into an imperfect world with bad people and bad things happening- but instead of letting that fear drive him, he chose to be hopeful. And Mary's pregnancy was considered a time of Hope. Yes, capital H- HOPE.
And it all worked out exactly how it was supposed to in the end. (It always does, Friend.)
Your holiday may not look like you expected. The greatest of presents rarely do. Sometimes we get what we truly need, not what we *think* we want. Sometimes we don't get what we want or need at all, and then we must seek hope even more. This holiday- hold on to hope. It's what Christmas is actually supposed to be about. You are one of the enlightened few that has the ability to truly see this. Life is harder, but more real and better. Trust me, and Hope right alongside me too.
Love,
Chriss
https://www.facebook.com/LifeWithGreysonParker/?hc_ref=NEWSFEED&fref=nf
Comments
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Wow! Alice, what a beautiful blog and so true. Somehow the grief of dealing with LIFE just makes us yearn for HOPE. This time last year I had just finished chemo and was struggling to breathe, my heart & lungs were playing up. Every year I put up a Christmas tree in our Intensive Care Unit. I do it for the patients and families who really dont want to spend their Christmas in ICU, just to remind them there is hope for a better Christmas next year. Last year my friends had to help me carry the tree and put the decos up, then had to escort me back to my car, gasping for breath. This year I was strong enough to do the work, but my friends could say "hey Trace, remember last year when we carried you back to your car? How far you've come!" My nursing friends, the patients and their families could all share our grief, our hope and now our celebration. Maybe that creates a sense of "this too shall pass" or maybe its the deep belief that "the best is yet to come", maybe its simple faith that no matter what the wrappings of Christmas look like, the heart of Christmas is faith, hope and love.
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I totally agree @Tracey62
My best Christmas memories are with LOVE, HOPE and FAITH I got through the journey of TNBC.
Jesus is always the reason for the season and His love is what makes Christmas special.
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PS I meant to say I follow this blog... it fills me with Hope ... You my boys are older and both have Autism.
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Someone just shared this with me... https://www.facebook.com/theballbrothers/videos/10154104253801424/0
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If you don't have Facebook look up THE BALL brothers .... IT's about the Cross.0
