Relationship damage from cancer
Has anyone experienced significant damage to their relationship from a cancer diagnosis? My partner has stayed by my side and supported me throughout my treatment, but now that I'm coming out the other end into survivorship, instead of bringing us closer together, we are in a very bad place. He resents me because he has lost a year of his life due to my diagnosis and treatment. He has a lot of anger towards me and has been pushing me away for months, and it's causing me a lot of pain and extra stress which isn't good for me. Pushing me away is his defense mechanism because he is scared he will lose me, but it feels as though has already written me off. We both very much love each other, but we aren't in a good place and I'm so hurt that he is blaming me for something that was out of my control instead of being grateful that he didn't lose me. I feel so alone and like I have to hide my fear and emotions from him because he cannot handle it. Has anyone been in a similar position and come back from it?
Feeling let down by friends
Did/is anyone else struggling to deal with friends and/or your partner who weren't there for you in the way you expected them to be when you were going through treatment? Im having trouble not feeling hurt and so alone in the hardest phase of my life. Im also internalising (not sure if thats the right way to put it) a lot of anger towards these “friends” that it is having a very negative effect on me, but i just cant move past it. Particularly because i know i was there for many of them during their hard times.
Dealing with unhelpful comments
Hello everyone I’m just reaching out to see if anyone has some wise words on how to deal with the less supportive people in your life. After a great day yesterday with amazing friends my in-laws decided to pay a visit. They come with their own issues and challenges which the family have grown to deal with in their own way (positive and negative). But today my father in law abruptly asked in front of the group (namely my husband and 7 year old daughter) “so what’s your prognosis?”. I’m not sure what I was expected to say. I’ve been diagnosed with metastatic IBC but have been responding really well to my therapy so far and we’re seeing results which we were happily chatting about. My daughter was upset by this discussion. Quite upset I just went up to bed claiming fatigue but cried for the rest of the visit. My husband who has been on the brunt of this for most of his life was very supportive thank god. I know everyone deals with things differently and we don’t always say the wrong things but this completely flawed me and put me back a few steps emotionally. Thanks for listening xo
Friends
Evening lovelies, I have been having a hard time lately with being empathetic with my friends and family over, what seems to me, such trivial problems. I understand everything is relative to whats going on in everyone’s world but I feel that this is causing a rift in between mine and my family and friends relationships and I’m feeling a little lost and frustrated... am I being completely selfish or is what I feeling at least a little bit normal!? In addition to this I constantly checking in and asking about their lives and i get the full run down but when it comes to me I feel I can’t really tell them what’s going on as they just don’t understand x
My marriage needs counselling
I'm 2 years NED. I'm one of "the lucky ones" whereby I feel absolutely fantastic physically despite my medications which consist of Femara and monthly Zoladex injections. However, mentally, I fell down hard with possible depression, anxiety and ptsd. I sought professional help early in "my journey", but fired my psychologist week 4 as she told me I was "a very challenging case" and I felt I was not given any help with my situation at all. I have never taken anti-depressants. Anyway, fast forward to today and I honestly feel like "the dark clouds" have lifted...just like that. YAY!!! I know I will always suffer scanxiety...but my mind most certainly feels clearer. HOWEVER, my marriage has suffered. My husband is the love of my life, but he has never been a good communicator when "the shit hits the fan"...hence cancer talk, depression talk etc etc has always been off limits.I have always tried to talk openly about "how Im travelling" but he has always put the wall up...maybe thats his coping mechanism..but this has left me feeling very isolated and misunderstood...and our marriage has suffered. We have had "the talk" and want to move forward together from this point carrying ALL OUR EXCESS BAGGAGE. My question is...do we seek marriage counselling, or is it cancer counselling, do we go together for help...or just him or just me? Where do we start???
Fidelity
I have just found out that my husband has had an affair. It started 6mths after I finished treatment and has finished now. My libido and intimacy post surgery made sex fell like a chore and he knew it. I was emotionally unavailable and trying to find my "new normal". Not excusing his actions, he has made the wrong choices and has taken full responsibility for is actions but how many other woman have fidelity issues with there partners after BC.