Fidelity

Good on you for giving it a crack. I hope the outcome, whatever it is, is what you desire. All the very best, K xox

I'm glad you're both moving forward. Take care.

Thankyou ladies.. We are going to start individual counselling and then move to couples.. We have been married 33 years so is at least worth exploring if I can forgive him

You know him best, or at least you thought you did. At least he thinks enough of you to come clean and admit it. It doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is over. Some men do stray. Many decades ago when I was in my teens my employer came on to me. What could I do but agree, thinking I need this job. After a time I wizened up, decided I would move on from the job and wrote an apologizing letter to his wife. He must have pulled his head in as to this day they are still married and retired and happy. Sometimes it just happens. <3

I am so sorry to hear that - some things can be better kept to yourself.  As @arpie said, you need to rebuild trust if you have decided you want to salvage the relationship (or at least get to the point where you can make a decision).  I get the libido thing but he is a grown-up and you've been through hell. So, I suspect that you both need some sort of couples counselling and probably individual counselling as well to get over this.

That's a bugger @ling

I hope that you are both able to attend some counselling together, to give your relationship a chance of surviving, assuming you don't want this to wreck your marriage?  Your trust in him needs to be rebuilt if this is to suceed.  Then draw a line in the sand & start over.

I would imagine that you are feeling angry, betrayed, disappointed, sad - whilst he obviously was feeling guilty, guilty, guilty ...

All the best on the path that you take from here.  xxx

He told me

No words. Just devastating. 

That's totally shitty Linda. I'm so sorry. K xox

@ling . I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. Did u find out or did he tell you. Sending u huge hugs xoxoxo