Friends say the dumbest things
I have chosen to tell a select few friends for support but now wondering about a couple of those. I guess time will tell who is who on this with me. I was feeling emotional 3 days after surgery and phoned a friend. After asking how I was and me explaining how confronting it all was this friend said 2 things: 1. Join a support group and 2. You're not the first to go through this and you won't be the last. Seems harsh to me. It did stop me in my tracks and I did stop being emotional probably because I couldn't believe she said this. It certainly has made me very careful what I say in future to her and less inclined to share. I have friends who would never be harsh like that and acknowledge/validate my emotions which is great but this person clearly is not one of them. How does everyone deal with people who basically tell you to get on with it?
Post surgery
I’m 66 and a paraplegic. Just been diagnosed and having a mastectomy in 2 days time. I’ve decided to go for bilateral if she agrees and there’s enough time in the theatre but I want to know how much can you use your arms after surgery? I’ve got good support and want to get it over and done with. Love to hear from anyone how much you are allowed to move your arms
Post Mastectomy Pain Syndrome
Dear Sisters.. Has anyone had Post Mastectomy Pain Syndrome? 12 years after my first Mastectomy and full auxiliary clearance, I’ve experienced itching; then prickling pain and feeling of inflammation along the scar and near the edge of the scapular under the arm. Most annoying in its suddenness like an attack. Also felt like waves of pain. Relieved mainly with cold pack. .. until the next attack! Anyone else had this experience?Home from Surgery
Hi, I'm home now (yesterday) and it's over. On the morning of my mastectomy surgery (Monday 18 May) I was feeling quite anxious but trying to remain positive at the same time. The staff were lovely but I found not as friendly as my first lot of treatment for wide local excision with nodes removal or perhaps it was me with more major surgery to have and super aware of everything around me! In recovery I had quite a bit of pain they had trouble getting me to a pain free point. Then taken back to a room to stay overnight. I was advised to peek at my scar as soon as possible and not to avoid looking as I would feel worse if I delayed looking. I could see a line of stitches when I looked down through my gown and thought well that's it! Snoozed in and out a bit with some pain relief. But didn't sleep much through the night. Doctors and Nurses saw me on Tuesday morning and asked how I felt and said they would perhaps look at sending me home on Wednesday and I could stay Tuesday night and sort out the pain relief issues. Nurse said to have a shower and see if this made me feel better. Well being a bigger girl getting dressed and undressed in front of a stranger is something I have struggled with. I married my first boyfriend! Young female Nurse was lovely and said she would help me. Being an independent person and sometimes stubborn I said I would try myself. Managed to get undressed - not easy I tell you. Someone needs to invent Velcro undies so I don't have to bend down to remove undies. I managed to fling them off around the room avoiding looking at myself. I turned the water on. Put my heavy drain tube bottles on the floor. Turned the water on and looked in the mirror. Well the sobs came loud and hard. The running water didn't drown them out as I had hoped. I knew I had to let it all out so I could deal with it and move on. Lovely nurse called out. Are you crying. I said nooooo. Sobbed louder. She said it's OK if you are, are you crying and I said yesssss. She said do you want a hand. God no, because now I was a hideous deformed beast! Stayed in the shower a long time and was ready to attack anyone who said it's time to get out. Someone else would like some hot water! Took a long time drying myself and put my brain back into gear with well - bad boob gone, want to live. It will heal. The hardest thing now was how do I get my legs through my undies! Wrapped myself in a towel and asked the nurse for some help. She was lovely. Wishing I had packed a lipstick because I wanted a bit of colour of my face. Nurse said I would feel better after breakfast. Had a few bites of breakfast and then threw it all up. Waste of a good shower. Got cleaned up again and had black tea and savoy biscuits
New here...my story so far
Hello, I’m new the group and haven’t shared my story yet. It’s taken me a little while to be able to read some of your stories and not have ‘freak out’ moments. Thank you to all of you for sharing your stories. It is important to see the full gamut of what is happening and what is to come. In my initial moments I was overwhelmed reading here because I was so scared every time I read and got caught up in thinking if it would happen to me too. So I selfishly took myself away from reading and gave myself time. I was diagnosed with EBC (early breast cancer) in August after a Breastscreen appointment that picked it up. I have a fibroademona that was detected and checked when I was in my 20-30s so I fully expected that would come up in scans. In fact, I had noted a lump in my breast and had managed to convince myself that it was just the fibroadenoma that had grown. It’s amazing how we can easily convince ourselves isn’t it? Not quite delusion, not quite outright denial but I did have a few things going on at the time. I lost my job of over 20 years, Covid shut down the world and just when I was finding balance and working again I fell down some stairs and broke my leg. So for two years, I let other things take priority over having my Breastscreen checkup. I’m one of those cautionary tales and I’ve had to give myself grace and not blame myself too much over it and think on the ‘what ifs’. If I keep on the ‘what if’ I will just go crazy and overwhelmed emotionally and I have to get on with it. Decisions have to be made and now knowing what I know, I can’t wait any longer. Here is where I tell you all that this isn’t my first time with cancer. In 2010 I had surgery and radiation for a liposarcoma in my arm. I was finally cleared and cancer free by 2018/9. So I’ve had a few years of not thinking about it except when I see my scars. To say that I am scared is a huge understatement but I’m a planner and practical person mostly so I cope by finding solutions. I don’t know what the stats are on survival rates for my situation, it’s one of the questions I haven’t asked yet. Partly because I’ve gone into solution mode and partly because I am just that bit too scared I guess. My EBC journey so far has been all about finding a surgeon which I was lucky enough to be able to do from my specialist physiotherapist. I’d been seeing that physiotherapist for my arm and knew she also worked with many women with breast cancer. She referred me to my cancer surgeon. The decision to have surgery was an easy one after the sarcoma I knew it was necessary. Having the choice of breast saving surgery and reconstruction is a blessing. I chose to have my other breast symmetrised at the same time. To my thinking, if I was going for surgery I preferred to do it all at the same time. My surgery was 8 October so I am now 2 weeks post surgery this week and healing amazingly well. I’m grateful that my body heals so well. I am also grateful that I was able to read up on tips on the BCNA site. I chose to go private so that I could choose my surgeons, both of whom are excellent in their fields and have been wonderful. So what are my numbers? My EBC lump was 37mm Grade 3 invasive carcinoma, ER and PR 75% 3+ positive, HER2 negative with clear surgery margins. However, 2 of 3 lymph nodes showed metastasis with largest tumor deposit 22mm. That is the current concern and so I’m due to have a PET body scan this week and consultation with a radiologist and oncologist. My surgeon tells me that she wanted more information before deciding my radiation protocol and further treatment. I know I will also have hormone suppression treatment but am not there yet. I am thankful that the research on breast cancers is so extensive that treatment protocols are updated often. My surgeon tells me that previous protocol for lymph node involvement would have meant instant removal of all lymph nodes. Whilst I am grateful I may not lose all of my lymph nodes and that I may have options, a part of me is also really sad and scared knowing that the reason there is so much improvement in treatment is because there are so many women that have had to go through this before me. That’s me, my story so far. I was brief though wordy. I will continue to read and share where I can, you may have noticed that I struggle with sleeping 😊 Sad to be here, grateful to have your support.
To bra or not to bra
I have been wondering why my healthy breast is a bit achy. At first I put it down to the fact I twisted my torso before Christmas. Then I got concerned maybe it was a cyst so I did the self examine thing but it seemed okay, however I decided to ask the onco when I see her on Friday. This morning I was talking to hubby about how I can’t currently wear a bra because when I do my mastectomy side slightly swells and feels uncomfortable by the end of the day. At that point my head went into thinking mode, unusual at the best of times. I lifted my sore boob and the pain instantly disappeared. I let it go and the pain returned. My uni boob likes to be supported and I haven’t been doing that. I am wearing my ah bra today but even that makes me uncomfortable on the mx side later in the day. Oh dear, which one should I favour?
Dealing with emotions
Hello ... I'm generally not a joiner in community forums of this type, but here I am ... I was diagnosed on December 23 last year (2018) and had surgery (lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy) on January 15. I start radiotherapy on Feb 18. I've recovered physically really well: my surgeon is great, she's done a fabulous job and I don't think I'll have a scar - so probably no permanent physical reminder. I'm back at the gym and am walking regularly and I hope to start running again soon. So the physical side of things is okay. I have a wonderfully supportive husband and even though my grown up kids live in other states (as does my sister, my mother, my brother and every other family member plus my best friend) they're all really caring and fabulous. But my emotions are a bit all over the place at the moment. I don't want to think of this as a big deal, but for some reason it kinda feels like a big deal. Is it? Or am I just making something big out of something that's ordinary and routine and not really a big deal at all? Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with anxiety about returning to work? I've been working from home this week, but today decided to go in to work. I drove (for the first time since my surgery) and when I parked the car I felt really anxious. It took a while to get up the courage to go into the office and now I'm not super keen to go back tomorrow. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Praying for the clear margins
hi - its been a week since I've had my post-chemo lumpectomy (WLE) and node removal and I'm doing ok. I get my pathology results next Tuesday and I'm really nervous. I know there is nothing I can do now to change the outcome, except think positively. My underarm is uncomfortable where the nodes were taken out as the nerves are cut/moved. it is an unsettling feeling to have a number underarm. I really don't like it and the thought of more surgery does get to me. I am on my own and with the long weekend coming up I am trying not to disappear into my own head. I really could use some positive thoughts and vibes ahead of Tuesday. Thanks!
