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Re: Help
If I reply thru email I can get in but it’s an old email and not logged on TonyaM.. doesn’t even have a direct reply … but my thanks to everyone for all the kind words .. I did just want to persevere long enough to find a way in to say thanku , cause I do appreciate you lovely ladies taking the time to write. But I’ve done 2 fights already, and a bilateral masectomy, now triple negative cells … i just can’t be bothered fighting to learn how to use a new format on here when it used to be so easy to reach out too. I will feel really bad not being able to reply if I can’t access into this site again so please don’t write. Many thanks for the support the past few years when the first fight began, I wish I had better I.T skills so I could understand how to navigate this page better and not feel like I’m saying goodbye to such a great support network. Maybe once I’m stronger I’ll try again. I hope 2023 brings beautiful things for all of you … 🥰xo3Views0likes0CommentsHelp
I guess there are times we all need to reach out, this online forum has always provided me with so much hope, help and inspiration and I thank the women that have reached out to me over the past 2 years to provide that …. now, just trying to navigate through this new set up has caused so much anxiety that I will say my goodbyes and not use it any more. Who in gods name decided that this was a good idea … we are dealing with so much shit already that this forum that was once so simple and easy to reach out too has become a navigational nightmare .. I’m on my 2nd fight with bc and whilst doing this 2nd fight, whilst still receiving treatment from the first fight, I now find out that I have triple negative cells in the other breast… so prepare for a 3rd fight… and all whilst still recovering from a double masectomy due to the 2nd fight… I get online desperately needing someone to tell me it’s going to be okay and spend 20 minutes just trying to find a “spot online” in this new website that I can even get at to write … shame on you for making life more difficult … life sucks enough as it is right now , than you adding to it by us having to have a degree in IT just to be able to navigate our way to get help and support is absolutely beyond disheartening… you have just removed the lifeline of hope that so many of us cling too … and that is … the ease too which we used to be able to write, express, and receive support … I have no idea how to get back to this page, I have no idea if this or where this will even be posted … what I can tell you is … simplicity in times of adversity is what people need, you just took that from so many of us .361Views1like17CommentsBack again..drs fault
Hello lovely ladies. So I posted a few months back that my bc had returned. Well what a big 2 months… glad I listened to my body and intuition.. first diagnosed with a rare bc in 2020, lumpectomy and radium and didn’t know any better to question the treatment given.. after ditching first oncologist due to him being a major idiot, referred to a 2nd one who put me on tamoxifen as a “standard” next step that 1st oncologist didn’t want to do.. fast fwd 2 years.. saw 2nd treating oncologist, told her breast hurt and didn’t feel right.. she informs me “cancer doesn’t hurt and your on tamoxifen “ so you’ll be ok. Went back to my surgeon instead, told him, and thank god I did, he ordered mammogram.. DCIS and an invasive neoplasm in same breast . As it had already had radium only option was a masectomy.. was sent to , by my choice, different hospital this time, different team of drs / surgeons etc . Told chances of it coming back in same breast, within 2 years, and whilst on tamoxifen was pretty rare. General consensus by them was total disbelief at my care so far and eyebrows raised. More tests done and abnormal cells also found in right breast. Am now 10 days post-op recovering from a bilateral masectomy and looking down the barrel of chemotherapy then pushing the 5 year restart button back on tamoxifen. Waiting on PET scan to see if spread elsewhere… and why… cause my first oncologist at ICON cancer clinic (apparently legally I am not allowed to name him directly).. decided to not take the appropriate course of action 2 years ago. Action that other specialists have all said they would have taken. This is the same clinic my 2nd oncologist works at who told me.. cancer doesn’t hurt , it won’t be cancer your feeling… if I thought I could get away with punching them both in the face then I would, not because it would make me feel any better, but because maybe they would both remember that punch before they so dismissively ignore the concerns of any future patients they treat. My life, my husband and my childrens lives, the lives of the 93 vulnerable people who I work so passionately with but have had to step back from…have all been turned upside down because 1 treating dr didn’t do his job properly 2 years ago. There are no guarantees that if his treatment had been more aggressive I wouldn’t be in this position now.. but I’m told there’s a fairly good chance of it. It’s hard to not feel angry when your in this situation thru negligence. I guess those 2 oncologist are just plain lucky that due to both boobs being recently lopped off I can’t raise my fists to punch them both. I’m told the days will get better and easier, and I’ve absolutely no doubt they will …but right now I look down at where my lovely D cup boobs used to be, and pretty soon I’ll look up at where my lovely long blonde hair used to be … and it just makes me want to perform a colonoscopy on that first oncologist, without an anaesthetic and with the largest snake camera possible, and just in case that doesn’t cause him enough discomfort I would follow it up with a bikini wax too his genitals! On that note lovelies… May all your smiles shine bright to get you thru another day, and if you’ve momentarily lost your smiles, may they return to you in the days ahead😘315Views0likes5CommentsRe: Round 2 ??
Bloody hell… that is not good to hear, that’s shit sucky for you after going through all that … I hope your doing ok now and on the journey to recovery.. can I ask , being that they’re telling me I need a masectomy… where and how does the bc come back if you have your boob off… not that I have much choice I’m told but it certainly doesn’t give me confidence it’s worth loosing it…5Views0likes0CommentsRe: Round 2 ??
Thanku lovely ladies… feeling the luv and hugs… isn’t this site just magical for support and that place to go to where you can release the emotions that perhaps others outside of the BC world don’t quite understand… could have done without this diagnosis … mind you, could have done hearing the diagnosis before I spent a fortune on hair extensions 3 days ago, lol… chemo will have them falling out my head in no time… In a better place today with it all… done it before, will just do it again hey… you might just all see me on here venting about it from time to time 🤣🤣… sooooo appreciate all your kind words , your all so beautiful… 😘😘⭐️💐…8Views0likes0CommentsRe: Round 2 ??
Hi Cath… omgoodness we talked ages ago … how are you going with the melanoma side of things luv… I hope your doing ok and no more to date, bc is bad enough to deal with without throwing in some melanoma along the way, hey. So, how am I doing you ask . Shit, I’m falling apart at the seams today, lol 🤣.. had my 2 year mammogram/ultrasound just yesterday, appt was booked for 3 weeks time to see oncologist for results and standard checkup, got the call at work this morning that they want to see me immediately, immediately being Wednesday 8.15am so gotta try and stay sane thru the weekend.. straight away new that was all bad.. then as I’m in the industry accessed my results and thought “buggar and shit that just sux”… continued working for 3 more hours (had an assessment to do on a vulnerable person who needed support) somehow got thru it … then came home poured myself a very very strong bourbon lol … all I can think off is how this is going to impact those around me. My kids are going to be devastated that mums doing this again, I feel like I’ve left them down putting them through this worry a second time ( their father is presently receiving end of life care for advanced melanoma cancer), so this is not ideal to have to tell them, the worry on my poor hubby, my poor mum is 80 and had only just recovered emotionally and psychologically from both my sister and I having bc ,hearing mines back is going to really really have a negative impact on her mental health.. and my work, I have so many vulnerable people I look after and for them to have me intermittently out of action again is really detrimental to their care plan. It just really bloody sucks that it’s going to affect so many people again in so many ways… so… for today, I’m going to make friends with Jack Daniels again 🤣, I’m going to have my little sooky La La moment, lol… then I guess tomorrow when hubby gets back home (he works away), I’m going to pick myself up, put my big girl panties back on, and say “f#%k you” to cancer yet again 👍 (a hug right now wouldn’t go astray tho 🤣🤣) 👍4Views0likes0CommentsRound 2 ??
Well, here we are again, and so bloody soon, who’d have thought it . In 2020 was diagnosed, had treatment, then started tamoxifen… well they can bash that crap up their jacksy… 2 years of side effects and cancers back anyways… all those joint aches, anxiety, insomnia , and let’s not forget the healthy eating, giving up smoking, making better lifestyle choices, less drinking… oh my goodness gracious.. missed 2 years of partying hard all for nothing, am sooooo not impressed. Jack Daniels distillery rang me, where are you they said, we miss your financial contribution to our alcohol sales… getting healthy after breast cancer I told them 🤣🤣, trying to do all I can so the bastard disease doesn’t come back… huh… maybe if I’d have stayed drinking I’d have killed those mongrel cancer cells instead cause in 2 years had 3 melanomas, 1 full face skin cancer pd treatment and now going in for the other boob. Fair diddly dinkum sometimes life is just not playing the game how I’d like… can I roll the dice again, can I play a different game .. 😝.. terror, fear, anger. … I didn’t buy a ticket to get on this roller coaster again, someone dismantle the bloody track …408Views1like15CommentsRe: Triple Negative Breast Cancer Stage 4
Not a power woman chikky.. just a stubborn bitch who refuses to see cancer as anything more than one more job to do in my daily schedule of life, lol... don't get me wrong tho, I have my dark days about it, and that's OK, and that will be ok for you too. You have to accept and go with the flow of your emotions, not beat yourself up about being strong all the time. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Everyone finds their own coping strategy, I found once I'd done that first dreaded oncologist appt, knew exactly what we were dealing with, got a game plan, it was easier then to just get up and get on with it. The unknown is actually the hardest. If you can take someone along with you the extra set of ears will really help, if not, take a pen and a paper so you can write things down cause they'll throw a lot of info at you that you'll struggle to take in all at once. You'll have bad days, who cares, that will just mean your human... but you'll also have good days, you'll have days where you'll be humbled by the support offered from those around you, and you'll have days where you'll want to scream and shout at the world... or maybe the last one is just me 🤪.. I think i would scare the world atm.. just had radium to face today for cancer thats spread all thru it.. let me tell you, I look like the arse end of a donkey thats been dragged backwards thru a cheese grater.. but I still said fuck you today to the cancer, and I'm betting once you get into your journey you will too. Cause you will find a strength from somewhere deep within, I can't explain it, but we all just do, you will too. 🤗🌻
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