Forum Discussion

Bim's avatar
Bim
Member
6 years ago

Acceptance

3 rounds of surgery over. Very early detection started with conservation surgery in both. Next wider margins. Still not clear in left. I made the decision for bilateral mastectomy and confidently say this was the right decision for me. Supported by my husband and surgeon. No further treatment. Next year for review etc. I made the decision for no reconstruction of any type. No prosthesis. I wish those well meaning folk around would accept this. The bra given sits in a drawer. Yesterday, a friend said  "It will make me feel better if I wear it". Thank you for the loving support from my husband and family, I am who I am, comfortable in my own skin and accepting this is how I am now. I do understand those who want reconstruction. My mother was a widow but said it did effect her and how she felt. We are all different. PLEASE do not make my choice and those who feel the same as less a person because we choose to be who we are now in life. I went to a school reunion on the weekend, drains in my shoulder bag and had a fabulous time. One school friend has made the same decision years ago. Still confident also that it was right for her.
breast-reconstruction
mastectomy
  • Afraser's avatar
    Afraser
    Member
    6 years ago
    No reconstruction was the right decision for me too, although I am monoboobed and do wear a prosthesis. Only once walked out of the house without it! But have no problem stripping off in change rooms when required. Each to her own. I have no issues about it at all and also accept that reconstruction is an important part of recovery for others. Bear in mind that the majority of Australian women still don’t have reconstruction (for whatever reason). Best wishes. 
  • Beryl_C_'s avatar
    Beryl_C_
    Member
    6 years ago
    Most of the time a find 'well meaning folk' a source of major irritation. How do I manage? 'Thanks, I'm very comfortable with my decision.' That's it, no explanations, you are not required to defend your decisions and choices to anyone. Good that you found someone who made the same choice.
  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    6 years ago
    Well done you, @Bim !  You are very comfy with your decision & that's how it should be.  If I had to, I'd go the same path & not have recon ... but as you say, can understand why some do.

    All the best with your recovery xxx

  • Blossom1961's avatar
    Blossom1961
    Member
    6 years ago
    Hi @Bim I am mono boobed and often leave the house without a prosthetic. It is quite noticeable but I am quite comfortable with it ......now. If I had gone flat my prosthetics would also sit in the drawer taking up space. 
  • AllyJay's avatar
    AllyJay
    Member
    6 years ago
    I had both breasts removed May 2017 and am quite okay with being "flat and fabulous", as is my husband of 40 years. I do have two prosthetics which I wear when going to the shops and so on, but don't bother if visiting family or going for a drive. When my grandson was three, we were out together and I had bought him an ice cream. (Small back story, he has three grand mothers. His Nanny (maternal grandmother) his Oma (step maternal grandmother and myself...Granny, paternal grandmother). When paying for the ice cream, the assistant said to him "what a lucky boy you are, your Nanny bought you an ice cream". Well, he rolled his eyes, as only a three year old can do and replied "my Granny....not my Nanny...Granny hasn't got any boobies...she doesn't even have any nipples"!!!. Well I packed up laughing whilst the poor woman looked sooo mortified. I tell this story to show how normal (well normal is debatable) I feel, and how my family also feels. Nobody else matters.
  • Bim's avatar
    Bim
    Member
    6 years ago
    You have to love the honesty of children. I am going to use your saying 'flat and fabulous'. I'm an Oma and made the error perhaps when my grandson asked me how old I was. I said well how old did he think I was. 92! Apparently. Quite chuffed that Nannie is 98! We are both in our 60's. Laughter is the best medicine
  • kmakm's avatar
    kmakm
    Member
    6 years ago
    It continues to flabbergast how frequently people think they know how you feel about your body better than you do yourself. It's nobody's business but your own!  :#
  • Sister's avatar
    Sister
    Member
    6 years ago
    I won't say that I feel wonderful being monoboobed but I don't fancy the idea of surgery either and since there's not fairy with a magic wand around, this is how I am.  I don't hide in the change rooms - if it bothers people, they can deal with it.  I do wear a prosthesis when I wear a bra which is when I want to look vaguely respectable so I'd put one on to go to the shops but not to go for a walk up the road.  If I was flat on both sides, I probably wouldn't bother then.  I may one day decide to have reconstruction but at the moment, it doesn't seem likely.