Second AC, don’t know if I can hack this

@Spillsy I had a similar feeling on AC as well. Don’t underestimate how much the drugs affect how you feel and don’t forget your hormones are all out of whack. I had many a night crying with my husband about how I couldn’t do it, how much I hated it, etc. The kicker was that I always felt better just before going in for the next treatment. It’s amazing what you can do when you just have to do it. You’ve got this and soon (although it won’t feel soon enough), it will all be over and on to the next chapter. Jen xx.

@Spillsy I remember feeling just like this. Started AC mid January last year. It was a shocker and no one was more surprised than me that i got through it. Taxol was a breeze and hair started growing back. Radio even easier. I hope time flies for you it certainly did for me. I found lots of water and walks helped. Couldn't walk week 1 of cycle though. Best wishes xo

@Spillsy -yes it’s terrible, awful and shit. I still managed to go out and about but the cloud was horrific.  I remember feeling like a terrible mother (4yo at the time) and wife and wondered if I was winning. I cried every time they infused that red fluid and tried desperately to remember the havoc it was causing for any cancer cells,  should they be present. Eventually it was over.

For me the paclitaxol is much better. My hair has grown back. My bloods have returned to normal and I have returned to the gym. My third last dose is tomorrow. 

The Ac will end. You are halfway there.
x 

@Spillsy I got thru 6 rounds of AC..... being so very stubborn i refused to let it beat me... Winner!!!!

thank you, yes I am half way through, just didn't like this "bad" bit again, seems worse, just cant do anything, haven't left the house for three days now. good to know pacitaxol is being better tolerated, hope that's the case for me too!

Hi @spillsy, you can do this - there is light at the end of the tunnel. I finished my last AC a few days before Xmas and remember feeling like you did, but I had my third weekly pacitaxol yesterday and finding this is more tolerated. I remember feeling so relieved once I had finished AC and you will too.  Have little rewards to look forward to once you finish each part - I have found this has helped me to keep focused and positive.
Hugs
Rachel

@My3sons, @Maggienbub , Do you have any suggestions about local supports for Spillsy please ? 

Thanks to you all, I was feeling so dreadfully sorry and sad for myself, and my predicament, when all you ladies out there have already gone through so much more, this is the time when I say' why me and its not fair and all that stuff',  in the depths of despair, so getting all those messages is pretty amazing. Woke up today and feel a tiny bit human, so maybe I am coming out of the fog slowly. Such an amazing group of ladies, offering kind words and advice. Thank you all.

@Spillsy, just focus on the day you're in. If you look too far ahead it's overwhelming. Each day you'll feel a little better and stronger. Just do what you feel you can and if that's nothing but a shower and  laying down all day - that's what it is. Thinking of you. X