Wow today I feel so terribly sad and sorry for myself shame on me.

@wendy55 beautiful reply...enjoy your getaway @Sam09 with your fur babies...Nellie xx

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Hi @Sam09 hope you are in a better space today!  Take care 

@Sam09 like many ladies on here I too have felt like you do.The turning point for me was ringing the Cancer Council and accessing Cancer Connect .Within 3 days I had a lengthy phone call from a lovely Irish lady in Qld who had had the same bc as me and had come thru it all to now be enjoying life.It meant the world to me as I had thought my life had ended.The call ( and she rang again a month or so later) enabled me to start looking outwards - I joined this blog and also a local support group which has also helped a great deal .The black dog of depression also started to lift when I began walking daily - maybe it released endorphins I dunno all I know is I felt better.I also joined a local gentle community exercise class - it was not for bc survivors specifically but for older people in the community to help with joint pain - I am on Letrozole and have found it very beneficial- I am often the youngest in class by a long shot but that is irrelevant.I also joined the free YWCA Encore 8 week x2 hour hydrotherapy course which has also been helpful physically and emotionally. For me the key has been to look outwards and I know how hard that can be to start .

You are doing the right thing sharing your feelings with your hubby and daughter as they are your inner circle and it does become hard on them but their love gives you all strength to carry on. I think it's great that they have gone off for a bit of time to themselves, as long as you are able to look after yourself ok without them. They will return with their batteries all recharged and everything will seem much better. Perhaps they could make it a regular outing say every couple of months?

In terms of a close friend and confidant who is someone other than my close family, I have a fellow fish keeping friend online. We have been in the same aquarium forum for years and when face book came out we became friends on there too. We have never met in person but have chatted every day on line in the face book private chat (even during my chemo) and phoned and video called and we just sort of gel nicely together. Perhaps that's something you could explore? Plenty of us sitting at home doing practically nothing apart from medical appointments as an outing. This is me on face book https://www.facebook.com/brenda.irwin.37
No I am not 37 I am 55 lol, its just a face book number.

This is what the network is about.lm so glad lve been part of it for nearly 6 years. We all feel those times l myself got through bc and then was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer.my family say lve changed.yes l say things l probably would not l think f it they just simply do not completely understand.get inside our heads they would say we were mad lol.l have bad better and good days. Cancer yes sometimes controls me but l talk to myself in the mirror and say come on girl get on with it. Love and hugs adean xxx

@Sam09 here is another hug. 
I was so sad reading your post but after reading Wendy's incredible reply I did feel better. I hope you do too. 

My cup.runneth over Wendy I feel I have a friend in you and we are so very very far away how I wish  I could have a cup of tea with you and share things I wouldn' feel alone anymore perhaps we could  share Emails but I understand if you don't of course

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Hi Sam,
So very glad to hear that you are going to take your fur family and enjoy some time together by the beach, see, you have already made that all important first step!! I live by the beach its about 75 meters from the front door, however my saviour is the lush greenery of the countryside, thank you to iserbrown for your lovely comment, I feel quite teary myself, but in a good way!we can do it, all of us, we just go about it differently, that's why I love the bcna online forum, I wanted to post something earlier but did not want to appear needy or vulnerable, its my downfall of trying to be brave and strong, so sam you have helped me more than YOU know, in putting yourself out there you have allowed me to realize that we can support one another in so many ways and there is no shame in baring our souls, after all we are all in the same boat, just some of us are going at a faster rate in a different direction,
thank you,
wendy55
xx