Sam09 = go easy on yourself. I do not believe that you were wallowing in self pity. I have felt ignored, neglected, unsupported, lonely and angry and I know I have every good reason to feel these strong emotions. It doesn't do any harm to do the occasional reality check, ie, am I being a but precious about myself?, and I believe all we have to do is remind ourselves that the very fact of posting to this discussion list means that we are living it tough right now. All feelings are ok its the way we express them that my cause a problem. I was diagnosed June 2011 and treatment and checks have been ongoing. I know that cancer is never just about the individual, by its very nature it has tentacles that pull in family, friends and even work mates and these people, like you and me, also feel fear, doubt, anxiety and anger etc. This list is so important and I am ever grateful to the BCNA for creating a safe place for us to express whatever needs to be expressed.