Wanted someone who cares!

Hullo Sam09, I really am sorry. You feel uncared for. You long for some genuine recognition from those you love best in the world of what you have been through and what you might have to face again. You are being realistic. They maybe have no idea of what your BC condition means. And maybe they don't want to know, because denial is easier. They are taking you for granted, as TonyaM said above, but they are still living in the same world they were formerly in, before you got sick. Now you seem better, so that's that, get on with it. If they took you for granted before, they will keep on doing so. You may have to accept that they are not able to give you the loving kindness you need. It's so hard when  you want them to want to be with you, showing they care. I long for this from my own family. Every day I know our time together may be limited, we may not always be able to be here together as we are now. I look at my beautiful daughter who is angry with me  because I have been expecting to spend a lot of the Easter holidays with her. She has no idea how much I love her and how much I need her to just be around me. She gets hard and mean and says she never gets to do what she wants. She feels obliged to spend time with another relative who I really can't stand. I wish I could go and live somewhere else with people who would be kind and understanding. The family could come and visit once a week and feel they had done their duty. One good thing is I  now really appreciate how incredibly strong and brave my late mother was. She got to 93 and managed alone almost the whole time and I know now in her last years she was so lonely and so longing for lovingkindness from us, her family members, but none of us could or would  give her what she needed. Maybe it's karma now that I am copping it. It's a good idea to find things to do for yourself and treasure your own desires and pleasures and find other companions but you have to be able to come to terms with the fact that you love them in a way that they just can't love you. Where you go from there, I just don't know. I am seeing a counsellor but no-one who hasn't walked in these shoes can really know what it is like.