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Tilly14's avatar
Tilly14
Member
11 years ago

Scared, confused and need advice

Hi, I don't even know where to start or what to say because at this stage I don't really know anything - I had breast cancer 6 years ago mastectomy chemo and reconstruction. To me it was the past something that happened, I know in the back of my mind I always knew it would come back but know the reality is here... It's just too hard to cope. I feel fine but having had to find a new doctor he sent me for tests to get to know my health and tests started coming back abnormal now a CT scan shows extensive liver metastatic disease. I only know this so far because the report was in with the scans I need to take to the Oncologist on Monday ...I am numb scared... Thinking I won't even see Xmas... I have a 3 week holiday booked for next Friday with a girlfriend we have been planning it for a year I have had a really bad emotional and stressful couple of years... I was waiting to come back to do my yearly scans etc ... Does anyone have any advice on waiting 3 weeks to start treatment if that would be ok... I know this should be the last thing on my mind .. But I think if I only have months I should do everything I want to do while I feel good .. But then I think can I become really sick in a week or 2 ... I feel I am going insane!
anxiety
coping

25 Replies

  • Tilly14's avatar
    Tilly14
    Member
    11 years ago
    Hi I have been meaning to come back on and write an update .. But everytime i do I don't really know where to start .. I had my first visit with the physcolgist at the hospital yesterday and she said I was still in the grief stage which I guess I am .. It's really hard to understand where I'm at .. I am not so out of control as I was when I first found out .. Sometimes I think I am just numb just going day by day ... But I've been back at work for 2 weeks now .. And had my first 3 rounds of chemo .. And dso farexcept losing my hair .. Feel pretty good health wise ... Not sleeping much which makes me pretty tired by the end of the day though Though I have been doing a lot of thinking and planning and have been in touch with my insurance and have a meeting set up with the legal team with the cancer council to apply access it so I can give up work and spend the rest of my time with my daughter and grandson ... Would be great to hear from anyone that has any info on the process .. How long it's likely to take ? I think that's my main goal now is just to fix up all the financial things for my daughter and cut out all the stress so I can put everything into keep living as long as I can ... I'm not accepting a short time prognosis at this stage ( even though that might be denial :( I have to believe to keep going ... Thanks for keeping in touch ... And the support it does help soooo much ...