Hi all,This is my first message here. I have been resisting, but here I am.So I'm 37 years old. I was first diagnosed with brca in 2009 when I was 29. Did chemo, double mastectomy and hormone therapy. All good, then in 2013 had a small recurrence in the breast. Some radiotherapy and hormone therapy again. All good again, especially when I got pregnant (naturally!) and had the most gorgeous baby girl on the first day of spring last year (2016). Everything was great.Then in December, when my baby girl was 3 months, they tell me it's come back and is in my bones and lung. I've been on taxol for 4 months - it has worked pretty well so am going to do another 3-4 months. Here's the kicker - I am a breast cancer researcher!!! So I know exactly what is going on, and what my prognosis is. I don't know... I guess I'm just hoping for some positive thoughts right now.... anyone?

Well youve answered your own question you know to much.but as you know we are all different and maybe step back and not be the researcher. Love and big hug adean.xx

Dear scientistSo many people who visit this site are confused and bewildered and facing things they had never heard of.....or dreamed of. And it's so hard for them. And then there is someone like you, who works in this medically fascinating but scary world, who knows too much. And I can't imagine how hard that is.What I can imagine is the splendid women who face the same diagnosis, who are living good and meaningful lives, with their families and with hope. I am sure many of them can, from better experience than mine, share their ideas and encouragement. In the few years since I was first diagnosed, there have been all sorts of developments - you will know this better than me. You are responding well to treatment, that's a good start. Keeping going is the name of the game, you have a lot to keep going for. With very best wishes.

@Scientist Welcome! I'm sorry you are here, but so glad too... It was only post treatment that I joined the Forum and I have to say its been so helpful, so many incredible women on here, supporting and sharing, its become a really safe place for me to be heard without judgement and also share. I too think in your position as the Researcher and knowing so much must make it a little harder, than someone who is perhaps a little naive and just relying on the specialists. I'd imagine it would be a bit of a nightmare at times. I know there are many women on here living with Metastatic breast Cancer too, and living quite well with their ongoing treatments, so am hoping they too jump in with some great encouragement. :) One thing at a time, you are certainly onto everything, but sometimes its important too to step back from it all, give yourself space and time to breathe, be in the Now and continue to enjoy your beautiful baby girl, I can only imagine the joy she brings :) Sometimes we dont always know what to say, but I think here theres a real support because we all just 'get it' and free to express anything we like. Keep doing what youre doing!! Big Hugs Melinda xo

Hi welcome to the site so sorry about your news. This site is about coming on and chatting to others who have some idea how you might be feeling.I'm sure there will be someone who will reach out to you who might be going through the same. Sending you a hug and some positive vibes xxx.

Hi scientist big warm huggs it is crazy when it is what it is.we are very lucky to have so much new research trying to solve the met bc riddle..i have been following some great info on met bc treatments health and new drug combination .detailed info is posted on the breastcancer.org us site .For me im er/prg positive soòooooo hoping that pbs will ok ibrance ..but reprt recommendation are not available when i looked late todayKeep in touch Bright

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21 Replies

sunandsaltwater
Member
9 years ago
@scientist Respect to you for being a cancer researcher! And while I feel empathy for you and all of us here being in the same boat, I think it must be so much worse for someone as young as you and with tiny people still in your care. So, sympathy as well as empathy! It's just not fair. Best wishes for you and your family and friends together for many years more, with new cancer treatments aplenty. Thanks to researchers like yourself. x
sandramj
Member
9 years ago
@scientist Welcome to this site. I only joined in April after breast surgery - felt very crappy that I HAD to join - but Ive been so grateful ever since.
Yes you are a cancer researcher, but you are a woman, a wife, a daughter and with a daughter, and we are so much stronger than anyone gave us credit for. Your power is not always in science and knowledge as scientists don't know how powerful our brains are, or how positive affirmations, meditations, visualisations are. I had a brain tumour removed in 2000 (it was malignant but 80% sure to return).Id had chemo trying to shrink it prior. I read Louise Hay and did all of those above, and 17 years later it hasn't returned. Theatre staff at the Mater sent notes and messages to my ward saying they didn't know what Id done, but they felt there was a huge energy in the op theatre that day - almost like angles there. I recovered miraculously quick apparently.
I now have breast cancer and am doing my best to repeat the same "non-physical" treatments in addition to the medical treatments - I do believe we have so much power in our mind, spirit, soul but just don't know how to "tap in". I figure it cannot hurt to do all the positive things and telling the subconscious healing is underway. There are new finds every day and meantime I'll be doing WHAT I CAN to heal myself - with the assistance of my medical team. I hope you can find a way to think outside the square and away from your 'knowledge' as a researcher.
I listen to meditations (sometimes about breast cancer) when Im going to sleep and if Im needing a relax during the day. Even if I don't think I'm doing much mind work, my subconscious is hearing the messages from the relaxation meditations. Its the best I can do. Here's a link to one for explanation BCNA have some on this site too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNUXueouQjE
I am sending angels to assist you in your healing and journey. Hugs and strength... :) <3
KimW
Member
9 years ago

scientist said:

Hi all,

This is my first message here. I have been resisting, but here I am.

So I'm 37 years old. I was first diagnosed with brca in 2009 when I was 29. Did chemo, double mastectomy and hormone therapy. All good, then in 2013 had a small recurrence in the breast. Some radiotherapy and hormone therapy again. All good again, especially when I got pregnant (naturally!) and had the most gorgeous baby girl on the first day of spring last year (2016). Everything was great.

Then in December, when my baby girl was 3 months, they tell me it's come back and is in my bones and lung. I've been on taxol for 4 months - it has worked pretty well so am going to do another 3-4 months.

Here's the kicker - I am a breast cancer researcher!!! So I know exactly what is going on, and what my prognosis is.

I don't know... I guess I'm just hoping for some positive thoughts right now.... anyone?

@scientist your story bit similar to mine, my primary diagnosis was in 2002, we had a baby in 2007 and my liver mets were diagnosed in 2012. I'm now 15yrs since primary and been living without mets for last 5yrs, did Abraxane chemo with herceptin for 2yrs ( yr 1 was 3wks on 1wk off chemo with weekly herceptin, yr2 was fortnightly chemo with 3wkly herceptin) past 3 years been on herceptin and aromasin, got a 30% reduction in liver mets but I've been stable ever since fingers crossed so I just keep plodding along attending hospital every 3wks for herceptin, take my aromasin tablets daily. Wish you all the best.

hugs xx
EarthWalkerLish
Member
9 years ago
Oh @scientist I'm sorry I have no advice for you, but you have many shoulders to lean on in this community and many ears to hear your story and feel your grief and pain. So good of you for reaching out. I know you will do what you need to do for you and your family. Be kind to yourself. Know you are loved and supported here. Hugs Lisha xx
primek
Member
9 years ago
I have nothing to add except to remember you are unique. My sister lived a long time with metastatic cancer (and well before a lot of medications were around that are commonly used now). She saw all her children marry, got to spend time with grandies. She made sure she packed a lot of living in that time and such wonderful memories. Big hug to you. And thankyou, thankyou for your research. Kath x
Scooper
Member
9 years ago
Dear Scientist.
I am so sorry that you have to join us here. I imagine it would be even more difficult for you being a researcher in this field.
I find that every day is different for me. Some days I am overwhelmed by the situation we find ourselves in and other days I don't even think about it. I will be thinking of you and all others that are in the same boat as me. It is crap. Enjoy your baby girl, take some leave from work and try and rest up.
With kind wishes and love
Sandra
xx
wendy_h67
Member
9 years ago
Hi , sorry to hear your news. And lovely to hear you have a lovely baby girl. I had breast cancer 20 years ago this September., and when I was told 5 years ago that the cancer had retuned in my bones I just couldn't believe it. 5 years down the track I'm still going . There is alot more treatment available now as you probably know . Just stay positive and enjoy all the difference stages of your little girl growing up. Sending hugs and best wishes with your treatment.
Brenda5
Member
9 years ago
Stuff the cancer, you wouldn't not have that little girl for the world. Keep up your treatment and don't be shy on pain meds and try to keep up with the little one as she grows. You might be unlucky in cancer but very lucky with a child to love. <3
Zoffiel
Member
9 years ago
@scientist The sword hangs over all of us, it's just that some get to see it. That aspect of cancer is actually pretty interesing in a macabre sort of way. I have some very strange conversations with my shrink about it. The poor woman.

When I look at what researchers are wanting to do it is only human nature to think 'I'm glad that doesn't apply to me' Then one day it does. It's a shitty place you find yourself but you are not alone.
socoda
Member
9 years ago
Hi @scientist, welcome to the site. Thank you for your research skills and your contribution to keeping us all here. ;)
I am so grateful that I have a background of ignorance when it comes to BC. The only thing that I can say to you is that you are not a statistic, you are a woman, daughter, mum and a fighter. Don't be ruled by statistics and figures - they are there to be changed and proven wrong. Sending you a huge hug Xx Cath