Mum recently diagnosed
Hey all, I've joined this forum in the hopes of connecting with others. My mum is 69, diagnosed with breast cancer 2 months ago and now has been diagnosed with metastatic BC in spine and possib...
Forum Discussion
Thankyou everyone for your lovely words. We are all here for the same reason because either you are personally going through this or have a loved one who is.
It's such a tricky thing to deal with and despite everyone saying im being a great support for mum, it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough and i know that stems from my own insecurities and self beliefs about who i am as a person.
I wasn't a great daughter to my mum for many years, especially as a teenager, i had my own mental health struggles and blamed her for alot of it, while being too young to understand she had her own trauma that affected her too.
Thankfully we had a huge talk not long before the diagnosis and i told her everything about how i felt growing up and that i now realise that she had her limitations emotionally due to her upbringing.
Long story short, weve hashed out all we need to, long before this journey started and im so glad we did, we arent overly affectionate or get talking about our feelings often but ive made sure I've said all the things i need to tell her and how I'm grateful for the knowledge, love and help she has given me over the years and i hope that kind of opens the door for her to be able to express whatever it is she needs to before she passes. I hope that when she does pass it is peaceful and she doesn't have any regrets.
When we are young we idolise our parents and seem to forget they are people too, with flaws, they will make mistakes and my mum did the best she could with what she had and i will make sure she knows that. Im getting emotional writing this.
I love her dearly and watching this terrible disease take a little piece of her every day has been very hard and for those of you who are experiencing this yourself, i know you want to protect your family from what you are going through but i promise you, all they want is to be there for you.
Obviously i can't speak for everyone because the journey is a very personal one but thats just my two cents.
I can also only offer my side of the story too as i don't know what my mum is feeling, i can get a little out of her here and there but i dont want to push her either, if she wants to talk about how she is feeling she will in her own time.
I have recently had a fair amount of time off work also due to the news and I'm so very lucky i have a boss who has offered to have phone calls, coffee and has told me to reach out whenever i need her. She's been just incredible.
Again another novel š¤£ thankyou for being a safe space for me to vent, share and for the lovely words.
What a beautiful community you have here and i hope you are all doing well ā¤
Please be kind to yourselves.
It's such a tricky thing to deal with and despite everyone saying im being a great support for mum, it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough and i know that stems from my own insecurities and self beliefs about who i am as a person.
I wasn't a great daughter to my mum for many years, especially as a teenager, i had my own mental health struggles and blamed her for alot of it, while being too young to understand she had her own trauma that affected her too.
Thankfully we had a huge talk not long before the diagnosis and i told her everything about how i felt growing up and that i now realise that she had her limitations emotionally due to her upbringing.
Long story short, weve hashed out all we need to, long before this journey started and im so glad we did, we arent overly affectionate or get talking about our feelings often but ive made sure I've said all the things i need to tell her and how I'm grateful for the knowledge, love and help she has given me over the years and i hope that kind of opens the door for her to be able to express whatever it is she needs to before she passes. I hope that when she does pass it is peaceful and she doesn't have any regrets.
When we are young we idolise our parents and seem to forget they are people too, with flaws, they will make mistakes and my mum did the best she could with what she had and i will make sure she knows that. Im getting emotional writing this.
I love her dearly and watching this terrible disease take a little piece of her every day has been very hard and for those of you who are experiencing this yourself, i know you want to protect your family from what you are going through but i promise you, all they want is to be there for you.
Obviously i can't speak for everyone because the journey is a very personal one but thats just my two cents.
I can also only offer my side of the story too as i don't know what my mum is feeling, i can get a little out of her here and there but i dont want to push her either, if she wants to talk about how she is feeling she will in her own time.
I have recently had a fair amount of time off work also due to the news and I'm so very lucky i have a boss who has offered to have phone calls, coffee and has told me to reach out whenever i need her. She's been just incredible.
Again another novel š¤£ thankyou for being a safe space for me to vent, share and for the lovely words.
What a beautiful community you have here and i hope you are all doing well ā¤
Please be kind to yourselves.