Denial
Hi all, Feeling a bit perplexed today. I decided it was time for my husband & I to see a financial planner to discuss our superannuation and other financial needs. Well hubby was ok with this until t...
Forum Discussion
Hi, I understand where you are coming from,
I too have metastatic breast cancer, and yes I also have a partner who is in denial, it has been a hard and frustrating subject to try and bring up and to live with these last 4 and a half years, it is certainly "the elephant in the room" like afraser mentioned above, never under estimate the value of humour, it is certainly the only way that I have managed to try and convey my wishes to my beautiful man,you could speak to the financial planner on your own just to find out about you life insurance,and if there is money to be had well it certainly would be a bonus you may have trauma insurance or total and permanent disability insurance as well, these are things that could certainly help you,I have often used watching television as a lead into talking about some of the things we dont like to talk about and again using humour about what I want and what I dont want, ie in terms of funeral etc, making a will is the most responsible thing that you can both do, it is something we should all do regardless of age, another way is to write a letter to him, out lining your wishes, deep down he does know what is happening he just doesnt want to acknowledge it or talk about it, talking about it makes it too real for him,men like to fix things its what they do!! and this is unfortunately one thing that he cannot fix, sohe thinks e doesnt talk about it it will go away - it wont, its a matter of being gentle with him, also if you have a McGrath nurse perhaps she could have a quiet chat to him, my nurse has done this for me you know your husband best, so perhaps baby steps at first and if he just will not talk about it there really is not much you can do about it until he does, but in terms of every day life you may just have to do some of it yourself, this way you will have peace of mind.
Hope this helps a little,
wendy55
I too have metastatic breast cancer, and yes I also have a partner who is in denial, it has been a hard and frustrating subject to try and bring up and to live with these last 4 and a half years, it is certainly "the elephant in the room" like afraser mentioned above, never under estimate the value of humour, it is certainly the only way that I have managed to try and convey my wishes to my beautiful man,you could speak to the financial planner on your own just to find out about you life insurance,and if there is money to be had well it certainly would be a bonus you may have trauma insurance or total and permanent disability insurance as well, these are things that could certainly help you,I have often used watching television as a lead into talking about some of the things we dont like to talk about and again using humour about what I want and what I dont want, ie in terms of funeral etc, making a will is the most responsible thing that you can both do, it is something we should all do regardless of age, another way is to write a letter to him, out lining your wishes, deep down he does know what is happening he just doesnt want to acknowledge it or talk about it, talking about it makes it too real for him,men like to fix things its what they do!! and this is unfortunately one thing that he cannot fix, sohe thinks e doesnt talk about it it will go away - it wont, its a matter of being gentle with him, also if you have a McGrath nurse perhaps she could have a quiet chat to him, my nurse has done this for me you know your husband best, so perhaps baby steps at first and if he just will not talk about it there really is not much you can do about it until he does, but in terms of every day life you may just have to do some of it yourself, this way you will have peace of mind.
Hope this helps a little,
wendy55