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Sam09's avatar
Sam09
Member
7 years ago

Cancer sadness?????NO!! Empty nest syndrome thank you ☺️

Hello lovely ladies
its been a long time since I’ve logged on. 
I enjoyed reading all the posts over brekky this morning. I’m wonderful 2 and a half years on from my her 2 Mets and my recent mri revealed no evidence what so ever of any cancer in my liver or spine. I was shocked really considering I have been in charge of my treatment and what I wanted and didn’t want from the start. No radiation no hormone blockers chemo only once no bone strengtheners so I’m very happy I’ve moved on feel great running daily and my oncologist says a complete response to treatment mmmmmm I’m not sure this is a comment to let my guard down so I will keep up exactly daily what I do. However.... mental health with cancer fabulous problem is my adored daughter my best friend in the world running and gym partner shopping partner and general bestie suddenly found the love of her life. Mum your fine look at you moving out today 😬 eek.   I
underestimated how lonely and terribly sad I’d feel to the point of my heart is broken. I realise I’m sad hurt lonely and really jealous to make it worse she not only
ladies moves in with him but his mother who tells me she adores my daughter and she’s the daughter she never had. Ohhhhhhhh my husband who I’m sure is quite happy because he felt left out many times is sick of my tears. Help anyone been through this. She came to treatment she had my back she told me your not going anywhere on my watch Mum. I felt so secure I know this is silly
but .......I’m soooooo dam sad. Shall I kick myself up the butt. Probably. There’s far worse. 
coping
emotions
  • SoldierCrab's avatar
    SoldierCrab
    Member
    7 years ago
    @Sam09 awesome news re complete pathological response to treatment. 

    Empty nest is a challenge .... 
    Now it the time to maybe set some new routines with your daughter a regular lunch/ morning tea or dinner just you and her. 
    It is so important to let go but also be there for her as she becomes more independent. 

    I agree with Wendy, now is the time for new things rekindling the relationship you and hubby had prior to having children... taking up a new or old hobby that has been let go because of having a family to care for. 




  • Sister's avatar
    Sister
    Member
    7 years ago
    One of the things that came through in your post is possibly a fear that the partner's mother is going to be so much in your daughter's life (or possibly I'm just projecting what I would feel).  Please don't worry that she will replace you in any way in your daughter's affections - with the relationship you sound like you have, she can't possibly do that.  Rejoice instead that your daughter does not have to struggle with a difficult "mother-in-law" relationship.  That said, she will always need you to have her back as you understand her.
  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    7 years ago
    What a WONDERFUL result from your recent scans!  That is fantastic!

    You will always be in your daughter's heart and your daughter will always be in yours - and she will be there for you, no matter where you are.  How lovely that she has found her life partner.  xx    



  • wendy_h67's avatar
    wendy_h67
    Member
    7 years ago
    @Sam09 so good to hear the news of no evidence of cancer ! How did you do it.  I miss my daughter who lived 5 minutes away and now has moved to Tasmania.  I live on the central coast of NSW. I have been down for a holiday earlier this year and hope to get down before Christmas. Looks like I will be changing chemo and may have surgery to stabilize my (L) leg before then so l will be disappointed if I can't go.. One good thing , she rings me nearly every day to check on me and often talks on skype. So I don't miss her quite as much.
  • Mira's avatar
    Mira
    Member
    7 years ago
    Hey Sam, that's great that you've kicked the cancer!   Your daughter must be someone pretty special that so many people love her.  Maybe instead of thinking of it as an empty nest time, maybe it's you who could fly the coop (so to speak) and have some adventures that you can tell her about when you do see her, or talk to her.  
  • iserbrown's avatar
    iserbrown
    Member
    7 years ago
    @Sam09 well wow!  You really have kicked goals and here's hoping things continue that way for you, that is just fab to read!  As to empty nest...………..she's not far away and will always be there for you

    Take care
  • Sam09's avatar
    Sam09
    Member
    7 years ago
    Hello 😀there  so good to hear from you and of course once more giving me the perfect appreciated advice. How are you?  Yes it’s hard but I know your right I’ll keep on concentrating on living and staying healthy. It’s just so lonely without her but as you say I’m stronger than I ever knew I was. So I will take your advice and I do hope my friend your well and happy for that is what we all want to be. 😊

  • wendy55's avatar
    wendy55
    Member
    7 years ago
    Oh dear @Sam09, first of all my cyber friend is it really 2 and a half years since we first started chatting!,as for no evidence of cancer ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC, see what you have done, all that hard work has paid off, now its time for a different part of your life to begin, My son left home at 16 and that was 30 years ago, however fortunately for me he and my adored granddaughter now only live 2 minutes away, she is 17 and is planning on moving away to the city next year, so I will truly understand what you are going through then.
    I guess you will go through a grieving process of sorts, its natural and you can work through it, you are strong you have already proved that.
    As the weeks roll on and you adjust to the new circumstances,you will find that you will have more time for YOU and your husband, perhaps a little reconnection holiday? 
    Im sure that your daughter and her boyfriend would love to come over for a roast lamb lunch on a sunday, you could start a new family tradition, so dry those tears,she is only moving out not to the other side of the world, she will still have your back,
    and your relationship will continue to grow with her.
    Its her turn now and you will always be there to advise her, help her, and be her soft place to fall if anything happens,
    take care,
    wendy55