Well, my dear friend, the spectacular Ms M, has reached the end of the road and will be checking out after a final party in early December.Diagnosed in 2017 having just turned 89, M has been an absolute inspiration. Whenever I start feeling a bit sorry for myself, I consider the dignity and humour that I have witnessed from a woman who proffessed to never having taken a sick day in her life before BC came calling. She has sailed through the treatments that have floored women half her age. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough and she has now got brain mets.I don't want to upset anyone, but I'm finding it intriguing, and infuriating, watching her orchestrate her last weeks. She's having a living wake then is going to test drive the assisted dying laws. The shitty thing is that there is only one doctor up this way who will participate in end of life prescriptions, so she has had to go to Melbourne to get a second referral. All of which has taken up precious time and energy--though she has booked into an incredibly swanky hotel for the week and is 'making the most of it.' I'm so proud of her.M's situation is yet another reason that something needs to be done about the disparity between regional and metro services. It grinds my gears that she has had to shop around to achieve her wishes for a dignified death. I guess the hurdles don't become apparent until you see someone trying to jump over them. And a 92 y/o who wants to leave her life, like she leaves a room, with a wave and a rustle of flowing linen, shouldn't have to leap or climb over anything.

I'm so sorry that your good friend is forced to jump these hurdles at this time of her long and fruitful life, @Zoffiel. It really is a rotten state of affairs that a fully cognisant person, unaffected by mental illness which may impede her ability to make correct decisions regarding her life and death, has to do this. So very undignified, exhausting and just wrong. I understand there have to be checks and balances to protect the culling of frail and vulnerable people, who may be dispatched by avaricious rellies and such, but this is not that. I hope she gets her wishes of a peaceful and dignified death as her due rights after such a full life.

@cranky_granny, it's difficult to understand how philosophy and religious conviction and political shitfuckery can ignore the reality of how wrong a prolonged death 'experience' can be. M wants out before any do-gooder decides her brain tumour has effected her judgement, even though she made her intentions clear a year ago. Mxx

Goodness your friend Mrs M...............Assisted Dying in Victoria, since it has been approved there's little commentary in the media about it! I don't profess to know much about the process but by the sounds of it maybe not all Doctors are on board or do they have to be approved for the process, hence the trip to MelbourneGood on her for being in control and taking the path, when she is readyTake care

Sending many hugs and best wishes to Ms M on her final journey .I hope I have the courage down the track to do the same , and go with dignity .

One would wish for better but if it’s inevitable, what a grand and splendid way to go. Apart from the messing around with referrals. The stringency of the current legislation will almost certainly be reviewed over time but not much joy to those going through the process now. In spite of there being many more takers in Victoria than originally forecast, I’m not aware of any issues other than the satisfaction of departing at the time and in the manner of one’s choosing. We get no say in when, where or in what condition we come into the world, it seems only fair we get some choices about leaving it. You’ll miss her but a life well lived lives on.

Mongrel disease. Warning, this may be distressing for some

June1952
Member
4 years ago
@Zoffiel - I am sad to hear about Ms M. Thank you for telling us. It is wonderful that she is taking control of her departure arrangements.
Much better to enjoy her last times with you, no doubt with much laughter and sharing of times you've had together. Lovely for you and her other friends to have good memories like that.
It is absolutely disgusting that she has to face this battle to get her wishes.
Did you see the movie "Blackbird' which was out earlier this year starring Susan Sarandon and Sam Neill ?
Zoffiel
Member
4 years ago
Thank you all for your support. It is a delicate subject.
@Afraser if she manages to do what she wants to do, and everyone around her holds their nerve and respects her wishes, I hope Ms experience will be one of those case studies that will inform legislative reform.
I will miss her. It is always a privilege to be friends with people of exceptional character.
FLClover
Member
4 years ago
Definitely a delicate subject. I’m very pro-life, but it’s her life and should be her choice. It’s somewhat reassuring she made it to her 90s ok. I hope she gets her wishes without too much further hassle ♥️
arpie
Member
4 years ago
@Zoffiel What an inspiration she is! Well done to your friend, Ms M on doing what SHE wants to do, at a time of her choosing & to go out with a bang.

I recently watched a doco on SBS (or was it ABC) on an elderly lady who decided it was her time 'to go' but she had to fly to Europe to achieve it, as she didn't 'qualify' under the Australian states' rules. She also had a living wake before she left and her daughter travelled with her to Europe - and it showed the whole process. It was very peaceful.

NSW is still deciding about VAD - every other state has passed it & no doubt NT will, in time, too. Yep, there are stringent hoops to jump thru - and it really does suck that she has had to go outside of her local area to make it possible - tho maybe the glam hotel was nicer in Melbourne than at home? I hope she's had a wow of a time!

We'll be thinking of you as you attend Ms M's final fling ...... deep breaths & keep that smile going tho tears will be understandable too xx

As @noosa_blue150 says - I hope that I also have the courage to do the same, when the time comes!
Zoffiel
Member
4 years ago
No, not all doctors are on board with it @iserbrown. Which is entirely reasonable if they have ethical concerns.

This is a fairly conservative district and as far as I know there is only the one GP, considered to be a bit of a maverick, who is open to discussions on the subject. To add complexity, most of the practices here have closed lists so getting an appointment with someone who may help is not easy. The specialists are being infuriatingly mute.

Then you've got to access the drugs and I gather that the pharmacies are also reluctant.

I'm trying not to get too agitated and bolshy about this now, but I suspect that it might be my next mission
Locksley
Member
4 years ago
Sending you a hug @zoffiel. I hope ms m can have the farewell she wants.
Afraser
Member
4 years ago
One would wish for better but if it’s inevitable, what a grand and splendid way to go. Apart from the messing around with referrals. The stringency of the current legislation will almost certainly be reviewed over time but not much joy to those going through the process now. In spite of there being many more takers in Victoria than originally forecast, I’m not aware of any issues other than the satisfaction of departing at the time and in the manner of one’s choosing. We get no say in when, where or in what condition we come into the world, it seems only fair we get some choices about leaving it.

You’ll miss her but a life well lived lives on.
noosa_blue150
Member
4 years ago
Sending many hugs and best wishes to Ms M on her final journey .I hope I have the courage down the track to do the same , and go with dignity .
iserbrown
Member
4 years ago
Goodness your friend Mrs M...............Assisted Dying in Victoria, since it has been approved there's little commentary in the media about it! I don't profess to know much about the process but by the sounds of it maybe not all Doctors are on board or do they have to be approved for the process, hence the trip to Melbourne

Good on her for being in control and taking the path, when she is ready

Take care

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