Forum Discussion
kmakm
7 years agoMember
How to prioritise self care?
So self care is the mantra in survivorship right?
I need to do gym three times a week for the weight bearing exercises to stave off the bone damage of Letrozole. Haven't managed to work that into my schedule since early last December.
On the days when I'm not at the gym I have to walk because minimum of 30 mins a day exercise, preferably an hour.
I have to bust stress, of which I have an excess. So I'm starting a yoga class on Saturday morning. Can't use food and booze to stress bust anymore.
I have to sort out my head, get rid of the depression, manage the anxiety, so it's a psychologist appointment every two or three weeks. She wants me to journal. I struggle to find the time. She also wants me to spend 30 minutes a day doing something I enjoy, just for me.
I saw my dietician today about my failure to knuckle down and lose weight. My willpower is rubbish and as you know, it's like rolling a boulder up a hill trying to lose weight in menopause on an AI. Have to eat a low sat fat diet because of the Letrozole cholesterol issues. I have to cook most days of the week for a vegetarian, three meat-eating teenagers and a Type 2 diabetes octogenarian.
There's also the assorted ongoing medical appointments that seem to roll around with remarkable frequency.
This afternoon on my way home from the dietician in Town, I received a phone call from my son saying my daughter was vomiting, a lot. She was already home with extreme tiredness and what she described as stress from the overwhelming amount of schoolwork she has (Yr 10). Of course it could be just that, or glandular fever, but my mind goes straight to cancer. Lymphoma probably...
I also get an email from school about my nephew (Yr 8) He's got yet another detention after being given several warnings to rein in his classroom behaviour. The teacher is "beginning to wonder if he has impulse control issues".
My son, starting uni next week, has done nothing whatsoever about learning to drive or getting a job and has zero money. How does he think he is going to pay for his day to day uni life? He's been sitting in his room playing computer games and watching anime since November. From the beginning of January I've made him cook dinner once a week.
My niece continues to be the most difficult of them all. Almost continually rude, refuses simple requests, sulky, terrible sleep issues & much more.
So to properly deal with each one of those issues takes buckets of time and buckets of money. GP appointments, specialist child psychologists and who knows what else. About to take vomiting daughter to the doctor now.
My self care, if done properly, would take buckets of time and buckets of money.
There are no buckets here. If there's a choice I have to prioritise the kids. Any prioritising of myself is already accompanied by massive guilt.
I am really struggling to arrange my survivorship life. And that's even before I start trying to find and then hopefully get a job. How does everyone do this? How do I recover fully and lead a healthier, engaged life in survivorship, and take care of everyone else, have a satisfying relationship with my partner, a job, maintain contact with my friends, keep fit, lose weight, not be stressed and feel OKish about everything? Is it actually possible to do at all?
Yours from the House of Bad Behaviour and Vomit, K
I need to do gym three times a week for the weight bearing exercises to stave off the bone damage of Letrozole. Haven't managed to work that into my schedule since early last December.
On the days when I'm not at the gym I have to walk because minimum of 30 mins a day exercise, preferably an hour.
I have to bust stress, of which I have an excess. So I'm starting a yoga class on Saturday morning. Can't use food and booze to stress bust anymore.
I have to sort out my head, get rid of the depression, manage the anxiety, so it's a psychologist appointment every two or three weeks. She wants me to journal. I struggle to find the time. She also wants me to spend 30 minutes a day doing something I enjoy, just for me.
I saw my dietician today about my failure to knuckle down and lose weight. My willpower is rubbish and as you know, it's like rolling a boulder up a hill trying to lose weight in menopause on an AI. Have to eat a low sat fat diet because of the Letrozole cholesterol issues. I have to cook most days of the week for a vegetarian, three meat-eating teenagers and a Type 2 diabetes octogenarian.
There's also the assorted ongoing medical appointments that seem to roll around with remarkable frequency.
This afternoon on my way home from the dietician in Town, I received a phone call from my son saying my daughter was vomiting, a lot. She was already home with extreme tiredness and what she described as stress from the overwhelming amount of schoolwork she has (Yr 10). Of course it could be just that, or glandular fever, but my mind goes straight to cancer. Lymphoma probably...
I also get an email from school about my nephew (Yr 8) He's got yet another detention after being given several warnings to rein in his classroom behaviour. The teacher is "beginning to wonder if he has impulse control issues".
My son, starting uni next week, has done nothing whatsoever about learning to drive or getting a job and has zero money. How does he think he is going to pay for his day to day uni life? He's been sitting in his room playing computer games and watching anime since November. From the beginning of January I've made him cook dinner once a week.
My niece continues to be the most difficult of them all. Almost continually rude, refuses simple requests, sulky, terrible sleep issues & much more.
So to properly deal with each one of those issues takes buckets of time and buckets of money. GP appointments, specialist child psychologists and who knows what else. About to take vomiting daughter to the doctor now.
My self care, if done properly, would take buckets of time and buckets of money.
There are no buckets here. If there's a choice I have to prioritise the kids. Any prioritising of myself is already accompanied by massive guilt.
I am really struggling to arrange my survivorship life. And that's even before I start trying to find and then hopefully get a job. How does everyone do this? How do I recover fully and lead a healthier, engaged life in survivorship, and take care of everyone else, have a satisfying relationship with my partner, a job, maintain contact with my friends, keep fit, lose weight, not be stressed and feel OKish about everything? Is it actually possible to do at all?
Yours from the House of Bad Behaviour and Vomit, K
136 Replies
- kmakmMemberSo I finally made it to the yoga class. Failed the first week because I got the time wrong (I am hopeless with that kind of stuff now, never used to be), and last week I was cooking and preparing for my daughter's 16th birthday party.
I really liked the class. It's very well paced, and pitched exactly where I need it to be. Not too hard, but hard enough to push me. I'm absolutely crap at it though. Felt quite embarrassed and mortified at one stage; thought I was going to cry. Pathetic! But I pulled myself together and kept going. I'll definitely go again next week. You have to start somewhere. - ZoffielMember@Nikkilee have you looked at the Otis foundation website? They provide free holidays for people up to two years post breast cancer treatment. You just have to get to your destination and feed yourself. It might be a way to have a break and take some family with you. Travel can be problematic if you don't live close to one of their numerous properties, but it's worth investigating.
I didn't work for nearly two years after my latest diagnosis so fully understand the challenges of limited finances, unemployment and unrealistic expectations about when you should be 'better'. Otis has been a godsend for me and others. Good luck and I hope things start to look up a bit for you. This is really hard work. Mxx - kmakmMemberHi @Nikkilee. It's tough eh? You put it perfectly, tired all the time and everything seems a chore. I'm trying really hard to get out of this funk but tbh it doesn't seem like I'm getting anywhere. I forced myself out for a walk today and will try and do the same tomorrow. I function, but to describe me as doing well would be a stretch.
That comment is the height of ignorance and insensitivity. Some people have no idea. Bless their naive innocence. Would that we could be so ignorant...
I have no answers, but know that we're in this together. K xox - Brenda5Member@Nikkilee tell them to pull their heads in or at least ignore their comments. I am 3 years post treatment and still have lethargy and various odd aches. If you can get through the day that's a win. Just keep plodding along. Some days are much better than others. Here's cheers to the oncoming good days. <3
- NikkileeMemberHi k,
i was just about to write something similar to you , then I read the way you are feeling and it made me feel a little better .. I was diagnosed jan 2018 with TNBC operation jan 2018 & finished all treatment at the end of sept 2018 .
I am currently having a hard time with the motivation to loose weight , have supposedly gone into early menopause I am 41 and haven’t had a cycle since March last year , i am feeling so tired all the time and everything seems a chore .
I am struggling to find a job , which also gets me down and I have people telling me do something for yourself you will feel better and even had someone say what’s your problem you don’t have cancer anymore , Cried for about 2 hours after that comment .
I am hoping I get out of this funk soon as I would love to get back to as close as possible to my old self .
I hope you are doing well xxx - ZoffielMemberIf you have a temp like that @Blossom1961 you need to get it checked out. Bugger! Mxx
- kmakmMemberHi @Blossom1961. You must be feeling pretty rubbish you poor love. I don't take Herceptin, and I think this thread on self care is probably too off topic for you to get a good response. Perhaps do a search on the word 'Herceptin' and pop your question in a recent thread that mentions it? Or give the helpline a call? Feel better soon lovely, K xox
- Blossom1961MemberSorry to hijack this thread but I didn’t want to start a new one. How long after active treatment do we need to monitor our temperature? I am currently on Herceptin. My temp is usually 36.2 and it is currently 38.7
- RomlaMemberThanks @Sarnicad it is reassuring to know I’m not the only one.They aren’t bad kids but has been quite a ride - year 12 ,so many 18th birthdays , driving , and yep the quest for independence which hurts a bit at times and frustrates at other times as they really know so little .Fingers crossed they and we come thru it - but I guess we and our parents did but just didn’t seem quite as many options.Am thinking about bulk buying hair dye as the greys are coming in thick and fast with it all!
- SarnicadMember@Romla you have my sympathy my nearly 18yo twins are doing my head in too - they might be lucky to make their birthday. I don’t think it is your age that is the issue, I think it is them