I'm on holiday... from Letrozole!

Well thanks to the rules set by my  mum ,we manage to have a great day & share the load ! 
The host family supply the roast turkey & vegetables , someone brings ham (it was my dads job ) my aunt brings cooked chickens ,sister in-law the pudding , my cousin brings the prawns , my daughter in-law brought a salad for dinner as did my niece .My  53yr old cousin struggles to bring anything we ask her too !! If she brings a salad , she brings all the ingredients (not put  together) then says I'm not staying for dinner the stuff is in the fridge !! :# This year we requested bread ,even that was too hard ,we ended up with supermarket bread & cook at home rolls ! Of course I always do more dips ,nibblies & desserts , but I like to do that .
The MEN always do the washing up ,after lunch & dinner , this year my eldest son washed the dishes in the evening , ( I nearly fainted !) 
After dinner my sister in-law organized playing celebrity head for a bit of a laugh , I had saved the Woolworths tree & decorations for everyone to put together , eldest son rolled his eyes & said are you for real ? This whole episode had me in stiches as each person got 2 decorations to make & they found it a lot harder than they thought . Funny to look over and seeing Justin focusing very intently on his decoration ! Who would've thought !!:o Each year my sister in-law & I take it in turns, since my mum passed away  however now some of the kids have their own homes we may try to pass it on ! (don't like my chances ) 
This works for us & we all enjoy the day .

@SoldierCrab and @kezmusc, yes, yes and yes.  How old is the eldest? Get this, he is 52! He doesn't live anywhere permanently, works in rural horticulture and so comes to his Mum's at Christmas. Nowhere for him to host us. Older daughter has another Mumsy, my ex-husbands third wife who she regards as a much better specimen than me, so she goes to her at Christmas, or to her step-sister's. She herself never hosts anyone. Granddaughters are hilarious, especially the 21 year old. She did her level best to help but couldn't find out where anything was kept and as a vegetarian objected to being anywhere near the turkey. My youngest daughter really did try this year, brought lots of salads and dips and nice things but arrived having already enjoyed some Christmas libations with her new boyfriend and somehow couldn't stop. He was rude and obnoxious. They finished up watching the most disgusting movie I have ever seen and what was it called? Bad Moms 2, of course. Wonderful way to show respect to the poor old matriarch with BC.

Oh Kezza you are so right, especially "feeling like a slave".  I do love your list. It is a wonder, you should patent it. I thought I might print it out. I think the thing is, they all feel I have set the rules and they no longer feel they should have to abide by them. Who said there should be turkey and ham? What's wrong with hummus and cold tofu? Who says we shouldn't drink all the wine we can find in the cupboard when it turns out we didn't bring enough of our own? What's wrong with watching disgusting movies after lunch? I just don't know where I went wrong. They used to be nice, pleasant, kind children but they've got worse with each passing year. You've got to laugh sometimes.

I hear you @Annski and @kezmusc. It sometimes feels like a major battle to create the traditions that everyone professes to adore yet won't lift a finger to contribute towards. And I agree with you about the cost. We are easily the most financially stressed unit in the wider family but no one ever offers to contribute financially! And despite protestations, it was my husband and I who did the cleaning up...

I was pleased with the food delegation this year. Note to self:  next year lay down the law re cleaning up!

I've done my final Xmas hosting. I use my health as an excuse, and shall continue to do so for any former "duties" I used to perform. 

My mother decided at a very early stage that we would all have Christmas Day at a hotel. With only 2 days holiday, she wasn't going to spend it cooking, clearing and cleaning up. So we did. It probably cost not much more, my mother enjoyed it as much as the rest of us and no squabbles about who's doing what. Even a large family can do it if they share some of the cost. 

@Annski,

I would try to keep the tradition but change the rules.

I changed the rules slightly in 2016 when I started chemo.  I am normally the christmas nazi (and a bit of a control freak)  I like to have everything just so. I used to spend the day running around doing all the prep and a lot of the cleaning up. We have a large family, so christmas dinner costs a fortune, which pisses my husband off no end and the mess was just ridiculous the next day.  He says the same thing, never again.  

Rule changes.
a)  Drinks do not start until all presents are done and mess is in the bin. 
b)  You don't pick up and clean up your plates I will put the prawn heads in front of you or in your car (all my kids hate prawns) :smile:
c) We will supply the meats everyone else gets a job, like a salad, fruit platter etc. I did do some sweets this year but that is not the norm and everyone was suitably surprised.
d) You want something different like gluten free, vegan etc...byo.
e) No one leaves until the mess is cleaned up or we will talk about you until the end of the night :)

Nobody had an issue. They just didn't think, they were so used to the same thing every year.  It was me taking over and not saying anything. Then getting annoyed and feeling like a slave.

xoxox




  

Annski, how old is the eldest?
Pass the baton to them.....
Tell them its their turn to begin hosting Christmas day.....

@kmakm @SoldierCrab @Zoffiel thanks so much for your kind and wise thoughts about Christmas. It was OK in the end I suppose but no matter how much I try my adult kids and grandchildren just expect to relax and enjoy and drink and laugh about how old and conservative we are while we do most of the work and provide and cook and serve. We don't drink so by the end of the day it doesn't seem all that funny. My long-suffering partner who isn't their father says never again but I feel that's giving up the only enduring family tradition remaining from my past. Oh, forgot to mention the effort to cater for the vegan/vegetarian/gluten free contingent. It just seems so hard these days.

Oh and my dandruff has gone!

@Flaneuse Thank you. Both my oncologists (as in old and new, not concurrent!) have told me that some of their patients have reported success with curcumin so I thought I'd give it a crack.

I don't know about restorative, but certainly most fun! All the same problems remain, but it was good to have a break for a bit.

@Annski @SoldierCrab I took the words of wisdom here to heart and let go of a lot of the Christmas Day perfectionism that I normally have. I wasn't here for the set-up, was behind on my own prep (normally have everything wrapped long before Christmas Eve) and couldn't find half the stuff I normally put out. But stress I did not! I just focussed on the food, laid a pretty table and made sure the sparkling shiraz was chilled. Not really the energy for anything else. It all went well. Sounds like it did at yours. K xox