@SoldierCrab and @kezmusc, yes, yes and yes. How old is the eldest? Get this, he is 52! He doesn't live anywhere permanently, works in rural horticulture and so comes to his Mum's at Christmas. Nowhere for him to host us. Older daughter has another Mumsy, my ex-husbands third wife who she regards as a much better specimen than me, so she goes to her at Christmas, or to her step-sister's. She herself never hosts anyone. Granddaughters are hilarious, especially the 21 year old. She did her level best to help but couldn't find out where anything was kept and as a vegetarian objected to being anywhere near the turkey. My youngest daughter really did try this year, brought lots of salads and dips and nice things but arrived having already enjoyed some Christmas libations with her new boyfriend and somehow couldn't stop. He was rude and obnoxious. They finished up watching the most disgusting movie I have ever seen and what was it called? Bad Moms 2, of course. Wonderful way to show respect to the poor old matriarch with BC.
Oh Kezza you are so right, especially "feeling like a slave". I do love your list. It is a wonder, you should patent it. I thought I might print it out. I think the thing is, they all feel I have set the rules and they no longer feel they should have to abide by them. Who said there should be turkey and ham? What's wrong with hummus and cold tofu? Who says we shouldn't drink all the wine we can find in the cupboard when it turns out we didn't bring enough of our own? What's wrong with watching disgusting movies after lunch? I just don't know where I went wrong. They used to be nice, pleasant, kind children but they've got worse with each passing year. You've got to laugh sometimes.