Having trouble just coping

Hey @Shorelle, I reckon you're being a bit hard on yourself!! If you can't feel a bit down when you are going through treatment then when can you!!! It's not just a physical assault on your body, it is also on your mind! BUT believe it or not you will laugh again, you will be happy again, and you will appreciate your life and all that is good in it. I have changed from a person who was gunna do to a doer!!! And I am thoroughly enjoying myself - I'm very happy. Sending you a big happy hug (it will get better!!!)Xx Cath

@Shorelle   - there's nothing wrong with wallowing in where you are at for awhile!  It helps to bring things into perspective!  Yes there are others worse off than us however this is about you, how you feel and how to fill those cracks in eventually, so that you can concentrate on recovery.  Be kind to yourself, it's a helluva lot that you've been through already and we all get it!  We are all in this together!

Dust those books and pamphlets off the shelf and have a bit of a flick.  There is some useful information in there!

Do you know about the Look Good, Feel Better workshops?  https://lgfb.org.au/who-we-are/
Check it out, it's free and it's for us!

Do you know about the Otis Foundation?  http://www.otisfoundation.org.au/
They provide free holidays for us!  Check it out, it maybe the medicine that you and your family need.

Hope that helps!  Take care and sending you a virtual hug from me xx

Maybe I should have a look through all the cancer paperwork I put up on the highest shelf in the office so I dint have to see it. It might be what you are talking about. There are so many books and pamphlets there.  I just didnt want to see anything with the word written on it.  
Everyone has been so nice and helpful I could never complain about that. All the cc support people are so nice. 
Maybe when I start to feel better physically my mind will follow. Having a bad cough and cold 1 week after chemo isnt the ideal setting for inspiration.  I keep thinking I should be thinking myself lucky. So many worse off and I have goid odds,  could be much worse. I do think myself lucky.  I do however feel that that boat we are all sitting in has a leak! I wish none of us had to spend our time on here and we could go back to normal.

Think many of us have beeen there - my strongest advice is to look outwards and you have made a first step by coming online to this site.I am pleased to have a couple of very practical mates who pushed me when I was down to find others in the same boat - I am soon to start a free hydrotherapy course organised by the YWCA called Encore which will  provide some pampering and information but a chance to meet others - it is Australia wide. I rang Cancer Council and they have a Cancer Connect service - within 3 days a lovely lady from Brisbane who had been thru same as me rang and talked to me - the importance at that time to me of hearing her voice was immeasurable - she'd gotten thru it all and was enjoying life.There are local bc support groups - I found some in my area by googling. The Journey Kit from BCNA has been very valuable but I had initially only focussed on the treatment stuff - I discovered it provided way more than that - it gave me questions I could ask the medical people and at the back a huge list of resources available to me.In a nutshell there are many of us and there is much available to help us but for me having someone to share the journey with who got it because they were going thru it was the best. - 

Thank you. I need to find that positive again. The feeling of being doomed is overwhelming.  

We always imagine the worst in our future after cancer touches us but for most of us it doesn't happen so why worry about it? Teach your husband planning so he can help you. Men are 'doers' and feel helpless when you are down. We keep a calendar of everything in the kitchen and it sort of turns in to a diary really. It does help. Planning and repetition will help you with chemo brain too so don't get disillusioned that you are getting no where. You need normal. Keep at it day by day and the weeks and years will follow. <3

@CellyK everything  you have said is spot on. Its as if you know me.xxx

Hi @Shorelle, 
Big hug. <3 Getting enough rest would be a magic trick in your situation.  But if there's some way you can wangle that - more rest  will help you regain not only physical, but some emotional energy too.  I hope you have some options there - like occasional babysitting or the girls having a sleepover with someone you trust etc.  
Whether or not that's the case, your surgeon, oncologist or GP could refer you to a clinical psychologist.  I don't think any of us should try to get thru this without that level of professional emotional support.  I and a colleague who also has bc are both seeing psychs.  Wouldn't be without it.  A psych will also help with some practical tips for easing your responsibilities too.  
I'll go out on a limb here and guess that despite your diagnosis - you still have too much on your plate.  Your lovely daughters will need you to be more 'selfish' for a while - they will thank you in the long run.  I get that fear you have.  My daughter really only has me (except some clueless relatives who's values make me cringe).  So we just have to keep believing that these girls will have us 'bossy mums' around for years to come!  
If the fear starts sucking you down into that 'sh*!t - scared' horrible place - try to breath deep and remember whatever stats and facts are in your favour (then let go of the rest) - it seems to help me.  My surgeon is really good at reassuring me when I'm having a mini-freak-out.  I hope you have someone - or find someone who can do that for you!  

So common after treatment to feel like you.  The advise already given is so true.  For me I think no matter what age we are, until something really goes wrong with someone close (or yourself) we still have that almost childish view that it won't happen to me -- and when it does its a real shock!!  You lose your innocence (for want of a better word).  Before I was a happy person, now I have to work at being happy. Saying that I think the happy is better when you work for it.
Previously I was bullet proof -  now I know I'm not.   Maybe the unhappy people in the world are the people who have lost that innocence too early in life....    

Good advise. Thank you.xxx