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Hi Ree

my name is Mel and i was 31yrs old when i was diagnosed, im so sorry you and your family have to go through this.

 i have 2 kids a 4yr old and a 13yr old and i had a bilateral masectomy in feb 09,  i found the surgery ok, i was glad to get rid of the cancer so it felt like a first step to getting started! i didnt have alot of pain mainly trouble getting comfy sleeping.

i also worried how to "keep normal" but we justy battled through as best we could, my parents borrowed my kids for the first week after surgery and it was a help but really i just wanted them home with me, it helped my husband to have something to do by looking after the kids.

once chemo started we just kept on telling the kids it was to make me better and they coped ok,. we just counted them down as a family and celebrated each one as we got closer to being the last chemo!

we  as women are amazingly resiliant i look back now and think... yep those other 3 weeks a month i was a normal mum & wife it was just that pesky chemo week that was ordinary!

i be thinking of you in the coming weeks its such a rollercoaster of emotions.. i remember how shocked and scared i was, but i found a way to get through it and im sure you will too.

take good care of yourself

feel free to ask any questions about my experiance

Mel

ps; i have a very blokey hubby but amazingly he can cook and clean now! dont know where he hid it for the last 14yrs!!

Thank you kaz. I will do a search and see who I can find  :O)  I guess it's a bit harder for support as my husband works offshore on a FIFO schedule. Unfortunately he doesn't get annual leave and has to use his sick leave - not much of it - and that adds to the stress. I did receive the My Journey package and hubby already grabbed the cd and had a read through it. He seems to have gotten a bit more calm since then so hopefully he has found something in there tohelp him. We are lucky in that my husband's company is paying for a psychologist for the whole famliy, for as long as we need it. That helps, there are several professionals in the one practice who cover just about every spectrum we need ie experience with women dealing with BC, a childhood specialist and a "blokey" bloke for huby, who finds it easier to go have a beer with Mark adn chat that way - really open and forward thinking practice. It would just be nice if the company could give him some more paid leave time  :O(

I look forward to getting to know more people...

Sorry to hear lifes a bit of a struggle right now but I have found this website excellent for support and info (unfortunatly not during my treatment, only recently) and I'm sure you will too. I have "met" some wonderful people and sometimes just sharing your thoughts seems to make your worrys  a little lighter. We're all here to listen and support each other.  If you havent already been told about the "My Journey" package that BCNA offer it's well worth getting as it has a statewide services and info flyer and i know my WA one has a BC clinical phycology free service for you and your family. My son was 10 when I was diagnosed and struggled, the cancer council paid for a phycologist to talk to both of us and it really helped him. You didnt mention a partner, but there is also a cd that comes for them as I know my hubby struggled and still wanted to be my rock (which he was)and flyers for friends and family too, so they know how to help best.  I will be thinking of you on the 15th, I hope you have a speedy recovery, take your time, your body will tell you when you've had enough, and remember your never alone :)

Hi Mel thank you for your post and your thoughts for my well being.  I think you posted recently that you are now being treated for secondaries?  I am so sorry, it must have been devastating news, just when you think you are done with it all.  I guess that is something we all have to deal with.  How was it identified?  I did ask my doctors about follow up tests but they indicated that other than future mammograms there would be no tests as there was nothing to look for (my post surgery biopsies and scans were clear); this did not make sense to me and I intend to discuss it further with my surgeon when I see her in October.  How is the treatment going, are they using the same approach or different mix?  How are you coping?  I hope it is not as rough for you second time around.

Lynne

Hi Lee, great to hear from you thank you.  Am beginning to wonder if I will ever catch up and am fast coming to the conclusion I need to stop caring about it, for good lol!  I am selling my house and thinking seriously of taking at least 6 months to reassess.  I am concerned I won't be able to buy again but you what?  I am so over working 5 days a week and living just to service a mortgage.  I love my home, but I think it is time to live my life.  Just got to work out about accessing the Herceptin treatment every 3 weeks.  Had my 'planning' scan today, the girls on the team were lovely and I confess I was very relaxed which is great.  A bit more chilled out about having my last treatment tomorrow, almost excited.  I know the next 3 weeks or so are going to be  s*$! but then it is done YAY!.

Lynne

Hi Kaz, so far no luck with a local support group.  Nor am I aware of a homecare group.  Decided to put that worry back and focus on being well, although a little concerned about the near future when my house is supposed to be going on the market - won't that be interesting lol.  Just been resting and enjoying my animal menagerie.  Yes they are a large part of the mess but the joy they give me is worth it.  Hope the Gold Coast turns it on for you; I was up there in August for a few nights and it was sooooo nice to be warm for a change.  Had a great time with my daughter and her friends. Oh and thanks for the compliment on the pic but I gotta tell you I have aged significantly since then (bloody chemo) plus I had just arrived in Milan and was soooooooooo excited lol.  Enjoy :0)

Lynne

Hi Ree, welcome to the network. :)  We do have some younger users here, so one thing you can do is try an age-related search, and then click through to the different members to see who you might have something in common with. Here's the link for the search page: http://www.bcna.org.au/network/users.

Feel free to ask in this group if there's anything you're not sure of.

Di

Hi, My name is Ree. I am 33, mother of 3 young boys and having bilateral mastectomy on the 15th October. Have had small lumps appearing in my breasts for the past 10 years, the closest I've come until now was changes in the cellular appearance but they achieved a good margin and no further treatment was required. This time, not as lucky, as I'm sure you can tell, not really sinking in still. Been through the mill with tests - mammograms, ultrasounds, biopsies, MRI's - it's almost like they all feel it is an affront to diagnose this and keep trying one more thing to refute the diagnosis....but I guess the more data they have to hand will help with my course of treatment?

I'm looking for any young people who have gone through this procedure and can share their experiences with me - I'm terrified on how to cope with this as well as try to keep a normal front on for my boys. How do you juggle it all and stay sane? I can't find any groups close to me - rural area outside of Adelaide - but am willing to look online for the answers and support.

Hope to hear more soon....

Ree

Hi Carolyn. Sorry to hear things are not so good but you are seeking help and thats great. I am heading to Qld for 2nd conference and one of the sessions i have booked into is depression and anxiety with breastcancer. I hope to get heaps out of this not only for myself but to share with others. Will get back to you soon as to any suggestions that the experts reccommend. I facilitate a younger womans cancer support group in my local area and we have several ladies with secondarys and most of us at some stage get very down with our lot, we are lucky to have each other for support at these times. Do you have a group near you that can give you support as often only those going through the similar ordeals really understand. You are not alone, great to see you on BCNA network and will touch base with anything I think may help.  Until then, take time-out for yourself (as mothers/wifes etc we often put ourselves last) go for a long walk, sit in a sunny spot, pat the dog, go for lunch or a movie with a friend, smell the roses, but do something just for you, everything else will still be there when you have recharged.  Good luck, Kaz

Carolyn, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through with your secondaries and your chemo but I can relate to the depression.

I guess I was lucky - if there is such a thing - with my cancer.  Because i opted for a mastectomy and removal of all the lymph glands (not for everyone but right for me) everything was contained in the one breast and hadn't travelled through the rest of my body.  i do not require chemo or radiotherapy - i will be on Arimidex for the next 5 or so years.

Would you believe, that was the cause of my depression.   You see, I wasn't sick and I felt guilty because others around me were .... they were going through their treatments and showed signs of how their bodies were reacting. 

I have now accepted two things .... (a) I have had breast cancer (2) I have had depression.  The fact that you recognise the problem and are dealing with it by getting treatment is a step in the right direction.  Talk things through openly with your doctor and psycologist - they will help you throug it.

As for the fatigue, try to keep yourself mobile.  I don't mean go and run a marathon or hit the gym ... take things slowly.  Try some warm water exercises at your local pool and maybe investigate the possibllity of participating in a Tai Chi group.  Go for a ten minute stroll each day (not a power walk, just a gentle walk around the block)

As your body strengthens so will your mind.  Just remember - stay positive, you are in charge of your own destiny.

No doubt you will get many more offers of help through these forums - we are a caring lot here!!!!  Pop in for a chat any time, there wil always be someone home .... can't offer you a coffee though!!

Cheers .... Shirl