Forum Discussion
Bad night
I'm just on to get things off my chest (ha! made a funny). I had the partial mastectomy the Thursday before Christmas. The surgeon said that the results probably wouldn't come in until the end of last week. I hadn't heard by Friday afternoon so I rang him and he said they still hadn't come. So, I've been putting it down to Christmas holidays and things getting held up at the Path Lab. Still no call as of yesterday. Last night, I came to the realisation that there's a very strong likelihood that the surgeon is waiting to tell me face-to-face at my followup appointment on Friday which would suggest not so good news - fully mastectomy and possible lymph node involvement. I guess at least I'll have him cornered then. I'm trying not to jump at shadows but I only managed a couple of broken hours of sleep last night, even after sleeping tablet. I'm the sort of person who needs a plan and at the moment, I'm in the dark. I've hated the recovery from surgery even though I've bounced back better than I thought I would. I'm not so anxious about losing the breast, after all, it hasn't played nicely - more about losing more lymph nodes, cancer on the move and more surgery.
I gave up lying in bed about 6am and went for a 4km walk to relieve the anxiety which is the longest distance I've managed since the surgery.
Sorry about the raving but I need the release of telling someone, don't want to make family and friends more anxious as they can't do anything, and the cat isn't always a good listener.
I gave up lying in bed about 6am and went for a 4km walk to relieve the anxiety which is the longest distance I've managed since the surgery.
Sorry about the raving but I need the release of telling someone, don't want to make family and friends more anxious as they can't do anything, and the cat isn't always a good listener.
28 Replies
- Dr Kollias is my my breast surgeon and he is an extremely skilled kind and gentle surgeon. I've recommended him to many, including family and he did my bilateral mastectomy and breast reconstruction and my nieces revision reconstruction. Of course like anyone he can have off days but overall I really like him and have seen some great results of other ladies too. As to auxilliary clearance the nodes are sort of clumped together so they take a chunk and then see what they get.
You are probably looking at 6 months of chemo which starts around 3 to 6 weeks after surgery...then because of nodes (if over 3) after clearance or size possibly a further 6 weeks radio. I didn't require radio but was wiped out and basically wasn't ready to return to work until October and need to start at reduced hours. However we are all different and I hope for you it is. I'm seeing Dr Kollias at the RAH on the 18/1 so if you are there for an appt. we might be able to say hi. It will be my first time at the new RAH. Kath x - Okay - update... I saw the surgeon this afternoon. My 2.5cm tumour was 4.5cm with no clear margins on 4 sides. I had 5 nodes removed with 2 cancerous and 1 showing signs. ER+ & PR+ (PR stronger than the core biopsy showed) and HER-.
I'm going in on Monday afternoon to have mastectomy and axillary clearance (he did say how many nodes but neither my husband or I can remember). Then sometime after that I will see the oncologist to discuss further treatment which he thinks will be full-on. Leaving reconstruction optional for later down the track. He concurs with my GP that I won't be back at work in Term 1 and possibly not in Term 2 - luckily I have also come to that conclusion and have given work a heads-up.
I can't really say I feel "better" but I do feel more settled after talking to him. I went to Dr Kollias as my GP said he was the one in Adelaide that she would go to if she had to (and he does seem to have good "reviews") so I'm trusting that he's good but his manner does instil confidence. I know that my anxiety will ramp up again by Monday and I'm far from a willing patient at the best of times but at the moment I'm okay - not great, but okay.
One good thing - he's said that I have his permission when I'm in hospital to leave the ward and go out in the garden! Yayy! It's so seriously cruel to be able to look out of a glass door and see a balcony but not be allowed to open it and get fresh air and sunshine. - Shit bum fuck.... all totally relate to this shitty thing that is breast cancer. I don’t think I write a post without dropping at least a fuck or two in it. My tumor was 1.8cm on the mammogram and 3 cm when I had surgery. So I was glad I had the mastectomy. Be guided by your surgeon and your team and trust your guts with your decision too. Biggest hug. Keep us posted. Margiexx
- I continue to be grateful I got all the surgery agreed and done in one go. I opted for a full mastectomy (had partial as an option) and we knew at least one lymph node was malignant. 17 went (but only the tested one was malignant - no complaints, a significant number looked very suss!!). Yes, I have some side effects, no they don't wreck my life and I am 5 years so far with no evidence of disease. It's exasperating and exhausting but if you can, concentrate on the main game which is to get cancer out of your life. Best wishes
- @Mollygirl & @SoldierCrab , my husband will be with me - he's got his own issues but has been a rock through this. I knew from when I had the surgery that it could go either way and I think I was mentally prepared for the breast to go but not for the nodes to be positive. And it broke my heart to see my kids falter when we got the phone call. When I was first diagnosed, my 15 yo son said to me that if he seemed like he wasn't concerned it was really that he knew I'd be okay. Now, of course, he knows that nothing's certain.
Well, I've had some time to process things - now I have to get my questions in order to ask the surgeon.
But thank you all for your support. I'll let you know what happens. - I was livid when I was told I had to go back for a full axillary clearance. I went for a walk until I had let all the angry out. I think it was 5km before I stopped. Then of course I had to walk back home which took a long time since I had only had surgery 10 days before.
- @Sister
never need to apologise here for venting or swearing when it is focused on the Bitch called Breast Cancer and treatments.
some positives to focus on are ... Surgery is not being delayed, tomorrow you will see the Surgeon is someone going with you?
I will share my tumour was 3 times what they thought it was and I had node involvement ...... I am now 5 yrs out with No evidence of disease I am a survivor.... Breathe we got your back Sister....
Hugs and energy to get thru the next bit of the roller coaster ride....
Soldiercrab - Agreed buggar, shit, bum, fuck @Sister. I think you are amazing to have worked out a strategy (your walking) to help you cope at a very shitty time indeed. Thinking of you - have you got someone to go with you tomorrow ? Two sets of ears is good. As is getting your dr to write stuff down for you if you need. Hugs xxoo
- Shit, bum fuck indeed @Sister Anything cancer is to be avoided at all costs and having to deal with it when all the grown up medicos go on holidays is the seventh circle of hell.
Good luck. Marg xx - Well I work in a hospital and final reports do not come in until 10 working days. So hopefully the results are there now. It doesn't mean it's worse or not...it just takes time to do all the additional testing they do. They like to be accurate and also have a plan before seeung you also.
I know there is no way saying don't worry will help. But just take note that often no news can be good news. When I had my gene testing done and it took much longer than expected I panicked. It was negative. They had retested just to be sure. Such a relief.
So my lovely. You already know you have cancer. All sorts suck. But soon you'll have a treatment plan. Let us know how it goes tomorrow. Kath. X
