Struggling with my mood

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@kmakm might be an idea to see if there is a local breast cancer group in your area . Maybe also your local council can provide help with your father-in-law like a sitter to be with him a few hours per week.At times it all looks insurmountable but it is do able - try to tackle one thing at a time rather than being daunted by the big picture - I’m keen on writing things down so I don’t forget things and cross them off when they are done.

Dear @ kmakm only do what you can do - listen to your body.I did not have chemo which takes a toll on your body and takes time time to recover. The day after Radiotherapy finished I joined a local free Stretch and Balance class put on by volunteers aimed at older members of the community . Many people were much older than me and I thought the exercise easy but it did exercise every joint in my body which is what I was after.I went home after that class and slept for 4 hours! I still do this class twice weekly and have had many chuckles with this group on top of a thorough work out on my joints but I am no longer exhausted after class. Also I did another free course put on by the YWCA called Encore - hydrotherapy. One participant came straight from chemo and sometimes not looking too well but she felt it helped her cope with it all. Victoria is the only state in which Encore is not available but there may be some courses available in your community that may help you. In my view hormone therapy is do able but movement is important.Weight control has not been a problem for me on hormone therapy but I do like food so if I gain weight it is because I overindulge.I too go thru flat spots and have moments of panic as breast cancer impacts on my sense of security but luckily then I get up and get going again often with help from this forum of wonderful people.Am more than happy to share anything I’ve learned . You are not a failure nor are you isolated.To make you smile am sending this ,:

Hi @Romla. Thank you for the side effect warnings & how you manage them. I'd rather know than not know.

My oncologist has ordered a bone density test so I'll try and book that in for after Easter. I'm not expecting it to find any loss but we have to get a baseline. She said I'll have one every two years.

Managing all the health care in the coming years sounds as if it's going to be a big job. I don't know how I'm going to afford the time or the money. I have four kids to look after, a father-in-law, and have to get some kind of job as soon as I have the strength. It is overwhelming to contemplate. I like exercise, but fitting it all in? Other things will have to go. And once again I circle back to how much my life has to change now, because of BC, and how I am so resistant to this change.

I feel very isolated at the moment and yes, this forum is a lifeline for that, and so many other things.

I am already having gajillions of hot flushes (thanks chemo) and they wake me up at night & then I can't get back to sleep and yes, I think this lack of of sleep is contributing to my blue mood. The last decent night's sleep was 23/11/17.

I have cleaned up my diet and have lost 19kgs since October. I am PETRIFIED of gaining it back and of not being able to lose more because of the hormone therapy and menopause. I already feel like a failure, this would make me feel even worse.

I tried to walk this morning but after a km and a half felt as if I was going to pass out. Had to sit on a wall and elevate my legs. My husband came with the car to collect me...

I think you will be one of my guides in the months to come. Thank you.

@sister No, don't magic to me, I'll magic to YOU, on the beach with your fish & chips. I'll get some too and we'll munch away in companionable silence. I'll bring you a hat for your freshly shaven head. K xox

Psychologist good, will stick with her for now. Pity I can't see her this week, but won't be upright.

Hey @Deanne. Thank you for your thoughtful answer. The part about "absolutely amazing bits" brought tears to my eyes. So hard to conceive of anything amazing happening right now. I hope one day I can report back and say they have. I know I have to keep plodding forward and clearing each obstacle as it arises, like life in general of course. But BC is a real spanner in the works, and so many choices have already been taken away from me. I want to feel joy and hope again. I will try to take heart that your five years has not been a time of suffering. Congrats on almost reaching that magic mark. K

Oops exercise releases feel good hormones called endorphins too!

@kmakm PS I definitely think the walking helps with how I feel - I take earplugs and listen to music on my phone as I walk 
 - even bought an armband for the phone so my hands are free.The music relaxes me , I forget I am exercising and use it as thinking time and my time .

@kmakm I had a lumpectomy followed by radiotherapy .Probably because of the pace of this treatment and loads of kindly medical support I managed ok. The part that terrified me was being er+ and needing hormone therapy probably compounded by the staring into the future with now time to think and now 6 monthly medical follow up.TBH I was in trouble.I rang the Cancer Council and they set up Cancer Connect for me - within 3 days I was rung by a lovely lady i from Queensland who had had the same type of breast cancer and treatment. I can’t tell you how much it meant to hear this tinkling voice full of life at the end of the phone who gotten thru it all and was enjoying life as I had thought my life was over.I also found this site and was given wonderful support , ideas and the occasional chuckle by members on here.Now to the tablets - I am on Letrozole which is the generic Femara. Apparently there can be a difference in side effects from them due to the pill coatings.My side effects have been joint pain , hot flushes causing a bit of insomnia , a spike in my formerly good cholesterol and a tendency to the blues possible exacerbated by sleep deprivation.I started hormone therapy already osteoporotic so have 6 monthly Prolia injections as Letrozole thins bones and can cause fractures. I had already had a fracture so was able to access Prolia at the PBS price of $38 rather than $275 per shot.I find walking for one hour daily helps incredibly with joint pain and really notice it if I don’t .I seem able to walk thru whatever joint pain I start with after 15 minutes or so.I also take 2 Caltrate Bone and Muscle Health daily - one morning one late afternoon - the Calcium / Vitamin D dosage is in accordance with the Australian Osteoporosis guidelines for my age and circumstances. My medical oncologist recommended Krill Oil for joint pain which I also take. I eat every day rolled oats for breakfast to help with my cholesterol and also hope Krill Oil helps - I had a bad experience with statins and will not take them.A tendency to the blues is probably a combination of many things - overdoing things my fault , lack of sleep due to hot flushes Thankyou Letrozole, and at one point feeling isolated which this site as well as making myself continue with life counteracts .Finally diet I think is important - too much sugar seems to make me anxious  but at times I still sabotage my emotional health by overindulging in chocolate and ice cream etc - too long a list . Anyway hope this helps on the hormone therapy front and happy to chat anytime XO

@kmakm I wondered where you were this morning.  I wish I could magic myself to Melbourne and give you a hug - probably not really a hug 'cos I'm not a huggy person.  You WILL get through this, one step at a time.  If you look at 7 years, you'll go crazy.  Being as miserable as a bandicoot seems to be the norm, sometimes.  I know there's a lot of bandicoots around my house.  And yes, you're almost at the end of chemo but not the end of treatment so it's understandable that you will feel overwhelmed at times.  Listen to me!  Some expert!  If your counsellor's good, stay with him/her - if not, try to find someone else.  
Thinking of you.