TERRIFIED of Treatment
I’m not sure I can convey in writing how terrified I am I’m not sure there is a word to describe it the worry I feel is debilitating, I already suffer from anxiety and this is just exasperating it, i was diagnosed about a month ago and have had a Lumpectomy with good results margins were clear and lymph nodes were clear, my cancer is triple negative and they are still wanting me to have chemo and radiation. The plan is 12 weekly doses of chemo then about 15-20 treatments of radiation along with Herceptin every 3 weeks for a year. I am supposed to go to Hospital on Tuesday for Echocardiogram, Port Insertion and my first chemo. Everday for the last two weeks I have woken up at 6am in what I think is a panic attack I have tingles all over my body and shaking and I don’t want to get out of bed I’m at a point where I don’t think I’m going to be able to get myself to the hospital on Tuesday, and on top of all this I live in Melbourne so we have COVID to deal with which means no one can come to hospital with me I have to do this alone. I am terrified of having the port put in and the thought of it being in my body for so long is terrifying to me I am also completely terrified of the chemo and all the worry it will cause me between treatments having to monitor temperature etc etc will be so stressful for me. I have tried conveying this to various people (Doctors, Family, Psycologist) and all they say is you have to do this and take one step at a time, I feel like no one is really grasping how terrified I am and no one is helping me with the mental side of this, am I the only one that feels this way please HELP me as I don’t think I can mentally survive this and am seriously considering not going on Tuesday.
Alternatives to Zoladex and Tamoxifan? & Genetic Testing for Drug Metabolism
Hi all, Who has had Genetic Testing for Drug Metabolism? I have and it has been spot on with understanding why over the years I have had sooo many side effects with different drugs. At this stage the testing is not covering every medication, but it is improving it's data base the more people do the test. It has been helpful when I have had my lumpectomy, my anesthetist tailor made my drug regime and I had no horrible side effects from the sedation or pain killers. I was also able to see that Tamoxifen is a no go for me. I was interested to see why, so I rang the genetic testing company to see why it came up as Red when I typed it in on my report. They told me that I may or may not have side effects, but I will not metabolise the drug to make the effective ingredient for it to work. I have told my onlocolgist this, and she is insisting I try it. I had severe side effects with Zoladex, the physical, while crappy, I could put up with. But the mental side effects were debilitating; Severe Depression, Anger, Irrationality etc, hence we did not start the aromatse inhibitors. My oncologist used a tool on the web (I think this has be spoken about in another post) and said that if I stopped taking the Zoladex that my 10 year survial rate would decrease by 2.7%. I was willing to take those odds, and we both agreed to stop the Zoladex. But my last visit, she wants me to start the Tamoxifen, because, some women do not have any troubles with it. :/ Again I do not want to, because 1. my genetic test and the company say that studies show that my genetic make up will not metabolize the drug to make the effective ingreadient; and 2. I do not want to add to the horrid mental side effects that I am experiencing ( A little less now that I am not on Zoledex) but still life disruptive. Because of my Genetic make up, I can't take nearly all of the antidpressents used to treat the side effects either. Im about ready to find another oncologist that will listen. What other alternatives to Tamoxifen are there? Other than Zoladex and Aromatase Inhibitors? Is anyone out there not taking anything at all? Thankyou for letting me rant, xo Heres a link to the genetic testing I had done if anyone is interested. https://www.mydna.life/medication/
Taking Letrozole
Hi ladies I need advice.. I have been taking Letrozole since June 18, I was told my menopause symptoms were going to come back with a vengeance.. But having to take this drug as many of us do I thought I can handle it. 4 weeks after taking it I was ok not really any hot flushes to speak of, no night sweats.. Then BOOM omg, as soon as it gets dark it seems, they start, not to bad in the day time.. but more and more the night sweats are getting worse.. also Not sleeping more than 4 hours a night is not helping, i am getting forgetful, and generally pissed off. what can I do? I have made myself a peppermint spritzer bottle that I keep squirting in my face lol, I have made a roller bottle of Sage, lavender, and peppermint to roll on my pressure points, I am at the stage where I just want to stop taking this stuff. I am seeing my GP on Tuesday so I will talk with him, and I still haven't started my Radiation, that starts on the 14th... I don't want to be like this for the next 5 years, I know I very lucky and there are so many out there that are so much worse.. but yeah...... I guess its really getting me down
Struggling with my mood
Saw my oncologist yesterday for the pre-chemo check-up. She started discussing Tamoxifen & Anastrozole with me. I've read up on them before and, while I know some people have no troubles with them, others have a lot. So until I start taking them, I will have dread. Seven years the onc reckons. It's challenging to contemplate seven years of suffering. It's my last chemo on Tuesday. People keep expecting me to be happy but I don't feel happy at all. I am as flat as a tack, sad, and cannot contemplate the future with any pleasure. It all seems so futile. And in between those two phases of treatment is a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstruction. Daunting. Being slammed into hard menopause sucks. I don't sleep well. Will I ever again? I'm doing everything I can to maximise my chances of life. I presume one day I'll feel better about it, but for now I feel like I'm just going through the motions. I can't get my shoulders down from up round my ears I'm that tense. I'm trying to stay in the moment, but failing, and positivity is completely beyond me. I'm just so tired. I don't want to see anybody, there's hardly anything I want to do. I've got friends coming over today but right now I just wish they weren't. Is it OK to duck out mid-afternoon for a rest? Cried myself to sleep last night. I'm aware that most of us have bouts of self-pity, but this feels different. An absence of good spirits. One day at a time is not working for me at the moment. Sorry for the whinge. Just needed to get it out. Where better than here and all you lovely women.
Depression after treatment.
22/04/2017 Had an ECG during the week. The local doctors nurse did a few paper read outs and then I had another one which uploaded direct to the doctors computer and he said on the intercom he was happy with that one and the nurse discharged me without seeing the doctor at all. This was a bit odd as the appointment came out of the blue a year after treatment and I had never had an ECG before. On Friday, I saw my psychiatrist who explained the depression medication he had me on, although it doesn’t react with my Tamoxifen, between the two it can lower heart rate and I needed to be checked. Since I still get morning diarrhea on 10mg of Escitalopram he decided not to increase the dosage at this time. He said it was a good thing the reaction of my body to it as he said it means it’s working. He explained a lot of feelings and incidents were forgotten and suppressed during my cancer battle and over time as the chemo fog lifts I need to come to terms with what I went through. He said it takes time. I do feel much better on the depression meds which are supposed to lift my Serotonin levels in my brain (the happy bit). I am very passive now with no anger but I still cry sometimes just before I fall asleep when I am semi-conscious but with very little short memory recall I have no idea what that’s about.
crashing in cycles
Hi just wondering if others experience massive depressive episodes in the week after chemo treatment? I have existing chronic depression anyway, and BC has just added to it. What I wasn't expecting was the train wreck after each chemo session. Is this common? So far the depression has lifted after each treatment as the toxins get out of my system so presume it's connected. LeanneWhat's been your experience/side effects of Femara?
Hello, I was diagnosed with invasive ductal breast cancer in March, with lumpectomy early April. No lymph nodes were affected, but had 8 removed from that side. I was told that further surgery was needed as a bigger margin had to be taken from the tumour site, then 7 weeks of radiation. I opted to have a double mastectomy instead. I started on Tamoxifen but became really depressed, then angry, then depressed, etc. so stopped taking that. My surgeon gave me a script for Femara, aromatase inhibitor, but I haven't started it yet. I read about some of the side effects which can be bad. Has anyone been on an aromatase inhibitors? If so what were your experiences with side effects? Would love to know.
emotion is going through hell
I was diagnosed to have early stage cancer Mid 14 August 2014. Then I had 2 surgeries so far, and I'm seeing the specialist next monday for post sugery follow-up. So I don't know my following treatments yet. After my first surgery, I was actually happy as the cancer hasn't travel to my lymph nodes and little knowledge with breast cancer. I bomb fed my brain with breast cancer knoweledge in the last 2 days, and cried over every minute. I felt reluctant to die and missed my parents. My husband and brother didn't understand why I cried over and over again, as they thought it's still early stage cancer and treatable. But as far as I know, it's still can be fatal. I felt sad, depresed, and hopeless. ( I believe many of you have gone through this.) I got married last year, and was thinking about having kinds next year. my husband and I went to GP to have a body checkup. I also requested to have an breast ultrasound. Then the result came back with a shock, followed up with lightening-fast surgeries. Currently I'm going on a roller coaster with emotions. I don't know how long I will live and couldn not stop tears once thinking about how devastated it will be to my parents if I die. I'm so sad and scared ath the moment
So proud of myself!
After having my 1st chemo on 20th May 2014, I notice my hair starting to fall out about 3 days ago. I thought I would be ok with its because I was expecting it but I started to feel down and depressed every morning seeing how much I was losing, so today I decided it was time to shave it off. To my surprise I now feel so much better and back to my happy self because now I don't have to watch my hair fall out.. I am so proud of myself for doing it on my own with a little help from my son who came along to shave what I missed! So to others out there who are just beginning to lose your hair, my advice to you is to shave it so you don't have to go through the stress and disappointment of seeing your hair fall out every day. You will know when it's time! Be positive and stay strong! ??
