No words

Sorry to hear you have had such a bad run with the treatment. I get shocking vertigo that lasts almost two weeks. But glad you on the mend and near the end. 10 days until my last chemo and then two weeks of vertigo. Plus coz of my age (47) I'm going through menopause due to the chemo but that a good thing as reduces the oestrogen again. Getting used to feeling hot every now and then. And yes I have had similar feelings about it coming to an end. I have changed for the better and re-thinking my work options. I have a good job decent pay but worse boss ever. Been offered a chance to move but will be less pay (not to much) and that not a big thing right now. Biggest thing that would be hard to leave is that there maybe a chance of something special with someone and would really miss them if moved jobs. But think one step at a time. Get through 'the Ultimum' and then look at work options. Funny about shirt as wear it to everyone. Like a warrior uniform. Not sure if told you but got 'behave' put on the otherside. And my friends have also threatened to draw on eyebrows. I've been lucky I think have very short white blonde hair. But that still falling out. And yes just have to push this somehow to the back of our minds. When you work that out or if I do let me know and I you.

Hey there Wndsrfn I have logged on this morning as second round threw me completely and ended back in hospital with febrile neutropenia.

I am sad to hear of your friends news; and like you and the others, thought I would be taking one for the team (family & friends). As the others have already said, you will be able to gently guide her through the maze that you have already travelled, even though your journeys will be different, I know the support you will be able to give her will be special. That knowledge of when no words but a hug are needed, the capacity to 'normalise' her feelings, with your openess and honesty, and of course sharing your great sense of humour with her, will be such a special gift that only you can give her because of your own experience.

As I was putting my arm out for the third round on Friday just gone, I was wondering how you went with yours the week previously. I really hope that it went smoothly for you this time. Did you end up loosing all your head of hair? I still have what one could call a very sparse covering. I also ended up loosing some of my eyebrows (shorter) and eye lashes (fewer). Of course my friends offered to come over and paint new eyebrows (or worse a monobrow) with permanent marker for me - thank heavens for good friends and their laughter! Like you, I am blessed with some good ones indeed.

My fingertips ended up loosing a few layers of skin and the vein from treatement number two is dark coloured on the back of my hand. Unfortunately my veins also did not want to play nicely for the IV antibiotics needed to treat the neutropenia, so I am feeling very bruised and pin cushioned! Even the nurses in the cancer treatment centre had trouble getting access for number three; it really feels like my veins know whats coming and run away and hide :) Because of the episode of febrile neutropenia, I had the added bonus of giving myself an injection of Neulasta 24 hours later - surprisingly easy and the needle thingy is very clever and retracts away so that it is safe to dispose of. The downside is the muscle and boney aches and pains that come with it. I figure though, it is now 6 weeks and 3 days into these chemotherapy cycles, which means only 1 more treatment, and 5 weeks and 4 days until this part of treatment is over. I know it sounds crazy , as I know the next part with the 10 years of hormonesis not  fun for a lot of women, but I feel as I have got this far the next part will be ok, and for me as I am 54, almost what would have been a normal part of my life.

I am a bit surprised though at the mixed feelings I am having about coming towards the end of treatment; I want to know if all this worked and yet I know there is no test that can tell me the answer, just time. I am feeling anxious about getting back into things like work, as I feel I have changed in many ways.  I was fortunate to have enough long service, sick leave and annual leave to be off for this whole time; in some ways, I do not not want this time that I have had, to be over at all. I think that as this is all coming to an end of sorts, there are clearly still some things that I need to work on...

Take care as you move through towards the end, keep wearing that pink shirt of yours :) Hoping the side effects not to bad this week for you.

Cheers MLE59

Your right about the 'get out of free card'. I have one very close friend who I think is putting off until I'm done. And yes one is enough in the group. Thanks for your kind words and we will get through one day at a time.

Yup. Swearing would have been my first choice too.

Through this so far I have been thinking about how much harder it would be if it was happening to my loved ones instead of me. Funny how that works isnt it?

All I can think to say is that you will be the best support that she could possabaly hope for with tips to help her through and knowing just to listen when needed (a finner aspect a lot of people seem to miss).

I wish you both all the best.

Hang tight <3