I have invasive Breast Cancer
6 years ago at age 36 I had a breast lump which proved to be DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. Now that was a ride as I was also pregnant with my fourth son. I have four boys now aged 13, 11, 8 and 6. I was told that there would be a 60% chance of return (I had 2 surgeries, 1 to remove the lump - and 1 when I was 20wks pregnant to get a clear margin). 2 years ago I explored the option of a double masectomy which I chose not to take after learning that this would be no simple "boob job" Hindsight hey?
6 years later, a week before my 42nd birthday, a new lump appeared in the same area, my breast surgeon who I had seen 6 months before with my regular checkup ordered mammo and us and both showed "nothing suspect" , the radiographer even suggesting it was a "pimple"
The surgeon said she still didn't like it and wanted to remove it. Had a third surgery on this breast early December to take it out and got a call from her rooms 3 days later - yes, this time you have breast cancer and this time it's invasive. It's only early she said and thinks I would possibly need hormone therapy. I wanted the double masectomy there and then and was booked in 20 December for masectomy and initial reconstruction. Awful experience, one that I will never forget although all the endo has made parts blurry - crap Christmas Day, out on day leave and drugged out of my mind in front of my kids. And to top it off the old lady across the road from my room up and dies just as I settled back into bed Christmas night.
The Friday before Christmas was also a treat as my surgeon came in and sat down next to the bed with a nurse and told me the sentinel node was also affected, more surgery that night to remove a further 14 which thank god were clear - now, I would need chemo - frightened the bejesus out of me - I would be bald, I would look like a skeleton, yeah forget about the fact that now this thing could well and truly kill you !!
Tissue expanders were filled up quickly over 3 sessions, they are lopsided, uneven and feel like rocks sewn into my chest (all normal apparently) and then chemo started on 9 Feb, I sooked like a baby while they were slapping my hand trying to find a vein. A close friend came and stayed for the session we then went to get me a buzz cut and I picked up my wig. I didn't feel that great for 4 days after. Nausea, heartburn and surprisingly eating like a pig. (so much for the skeleton) and lots of early nights, Last night I beat my boys to bed by about 2 hours !
I first came to this site when I was diagnosed in December 2011 but somehow didn't feel like I 'fit in" . Everyone was so positive and upbeat, I felt angry, betrayed and resentful. Merry F^%$in Christmas. I have edged back in slowly learning about genetics, ovaries, side effects from chemo etc. I don't know if anyone will read this but if you do "Thank You" I have learned so much from all of you. I still don't feel very positive or upbeat but each day I feel is a step forward.
