Finding a lump and more
In January 2013 I had a 6 month mammogram check up on my left breast. There were three new calcium deposits near the area that was removed, but nothing to be alarmed about as they weren't positioned all together.
This checkup was to be followed by a mammogram in July 2013 - 1 year after I had the original area removed.
However in late April 2013 while staying at my sisters house in the country I made a scary discovery. While laying awake on my back one night I felt my breast as it had been aching. It wasn't unusual for my breast to ache since the surgery, especially in the cold weather. I guess the scar tissue was still healing. It was the middle of the night, I couldn't sleep and I was feeling the lumps and bumps of the scar tissue (which had improved amazingly since the operation) and then I felt something that I had never felt before... a lump!!! It was quite small, but right near the base of my left nipple. My heart started racing. I started panicking. As I kept feeling it, to see if it really was a lump or just breast tissue I felt something wet. There was discharge coming from my nipple. I was sleeping in a room with my husband and 2 children, so I grabbed a torch quietly left the room. What I saw next completely freaked me out. The discharge wasn't clear. It was bloody! I went back to bed and lay there until morning worrying about what this could possibly mean. We headed home first thing in the morning. I had phoned first thing to book an appointment with my GP. My GP was great, she phone my specialist and made an appointment for monday. The stress of waiting over the weekend nearly drove me crazy. Of course all of the possible scenarios go through your head. I have to keep reminding myself to stay positive and not to worry until we know what we are dealing with.
After a mammogram (which didn't show the lump) my specialist then did an ultrasound of the area. He could see a small lump, but was sure that it looked all clear. A needle biopsy was done just to be sure. The bloody discharge was of course a concern. It was either a) a small polyp in the milk duct or b) cancer cells in the milk duct. My specialist decided that the best thing to do would be to remove a small area of the affected milk duct and while there remove the lump and the new calcium deposits that turned up in the January scan.
We had a family holiday to Sydney booked for a week in may. Thankfully the operation was booked in for may 20th - the day after we returned. Our time in Sydney and the Blue Mountains was wonderful. It was the perfect family holiday. Rest, relaxation and precious family time. One thing I have learnt since losing my mum is to appreciate your family and loved ones. Having my own business and working from home can be very draining. I work long and hard hours and it is hard to really 'get away from work'. My boys are so precious. They have brought so much love and joy into my life. I could just sit and watch them all day - exploring the wonderful environment around them and what better way than to do it in Sydney.
Sunday afternoon I had started to worry about what monday would bring. I had nerves in my stomach that were making me feel ill. I was madly trying to finish a large project before going in for surgery Monday morning when I received a phone call. A phone call that made my world stop and put everything into perspective. A very, very dear friend had passed away during her sleep the night before. This wonderful and dear friend was only with me the weeks before, supporting me at my appointments and sending lovely mothers day txt messages while were in Sydney. Now she was gone.
Going into my operation on monday, all i could think of was my dear friend. I have my life. I am here with my beautiful boys and my wonderful husband. I can hold my family, tell them I love them, kiss and hold them tight. Life really is precious beyond words. My health problems didn't really seem that much of a worry any more. In comparison to what others were/are going through - I consider myself lucky.
Unfortunately I woke from the operation with a reaction to the drugs. Slowly as the hours passed after the operation I had itches that wouldn't go away, they became more regular and more annoying. I felt as though I was going to scratch my face off, pull my hair our and make my legs bleed. I also had the twitches. Twitches that were so bad I was awake all night with them. They were jolting my whole body. Between the itching and twitching, I had one of the worst nights I can remember. By mid morning they had passed. I then spent the day sleeping.
It was several days before I received my results. The lump that was removed was fine, the calcium deposits that were removed were fine, the milk duct that was removed had a polyp in it. All seemed to be going well until there was the pause in the conversation. My specialist went on to tell me that in the last 2mm of the milk duct that was removed around the polyp they had found some very low grade cancer cells. He suggested that they remove a larger area of the milk ducts to check and see what is happening. I tried to digest what he had said after I hung up the phone. My initial reaction was to totally freak out. But then I needed to remind myself that it was very low grade cancer and I'm lucky they found it so early. How lucky was I... weather it was luck, skill of the surgeon or my mum watching over me I am SO glad that they removed this area and found what they did. DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) is something that in not always detectable in any other way.
The results from the second round of surgery didn't come back as I had hoped. Large areas of DCIS were found in several milk ducts. I had always said to myself (and my husband) that if I ever had problems with breast cancer then i would not think twice about having my breast removed. These thoughts had already been through my mind, so when my specialist suggested that this is the cure for DCIS, I didn't need to think about it. It was an easy decision to make. If removing my breast removes the problem, then go right ahead. Take it. In fact if you are taking one, then you can take the other. I would much rather be here with my family (minus my breasts) than not here with my beautiful family at all. The thought of leaving them is not one I want to face. I asked what the chances are of having DCIS in the right breast. The response was not very high, but with regular checking, if unfortunately cancer did develop it would be caught early. I didn't feel comfortable with this. I don't want to wait around for cancer to develop in my right breast so that it can be 'found'. I would much rather the breast removed so that cancer can't be found.
As the DCIS is very low grade there is no need for chemo or radio therapy. The decision was made to have a bi lateral mastectomy, followed by immediate reconstruction. The reconstruction precess was briefly explained to me. Implants were suggested as the best option. A plastic surgeon was recommended and he would explain the process in more detail. My appointment date was made. It was 6 weeks away!!! More waiting.
