Feeling sorry and horrible

@Ausmum2 n @Keeping_positive1 Thanks for your words of encouragement. It means a lot to me. I will tick day by day just like what you did. Hugs!

@Siewli I also had AC chemo, and the first treatment was the worst on my body, it didn't know what hit it!  I was in shock and wondered how I was going to get through all the treatment they told me I needed.  I got through, and surprised myself how I pushed through for the 18 months of active treatment.  I agree with @Ausmum2 take what drugs your team give you.  

Wishing you all the best and hop onto the forum here whenever you need a listening ear and extra support.  We all get it!

@Siewli just some words of encouragement for you also. You can do this. Just focus on one teeny tiny step at a time each day. I found all I had to expect or myself was “today”. If I only “expected and planned for today” it all just “went”. 

@Cath62 thanks for your encouragement and response.

Keep going @Siewli, you got this. You got through the first session. You will find the rhythm of the cycles. Please see a counsellor. It is so important to get help through this and it really does help. It's a long road and even after treatment you may need that counselling. There is alot to process with bc. It can be hard on family members too as they can feel helpless. We have all been there and none of us got through without that counselling support. You are doing well. Every bit helps. Keep going. Sending best wishes to you 💐

Dear @Siewli,

from jennyss in Western NSW

@Siewli many of us can relate to how you are feeling and I agree with the tips that have been shared. I saw a psychologist at the start of my treatment as I just could not get my head straight - it is such a mind game as well as a physical challenge. I found that being able to speak openly with someone who did not have the emotional connection to me invaluable. I know the mental health system is stretched at the moment, and it may be difficult to get an appointment, but the cancer council also offers free services - I used them too and they were also excellent. Your family members can also use this service.

I also set up a calendar and I used a big red pen to mark off each treatment - simple, but it really helped me to see the progress. Try to only focus on one round at a time, don’t get ahead of yourself. You are going to find your own routine as you will start to know what your good days are and which days you may need to just lie on the couch.

On your better days, try to do something nice, something that makes you happy - sitting outside, going for a drive, anything at all. If you can, try to go for a walk - even on the days when you don’t feel like it - just a really gentle stroll. Definitely keep your treating team informed of your symptoms as they will be doing their best to keep you as comfortable as possible.

You are going to get through this - in fact, you are going to be amazed at just how strong you are. You are brave - never doubt that. You are also stronger than you believe. You can do this.

@Zoffiel @Lisa1407 Thanks for the encouragement and supports. They meant a lot to me. I will find strength from each of you to keep me going. Thank you!

@Siewli it's tough when theory meets reality and you end up having a miserable time.
Hang in there for as long as you can, please. You have made a mental commitment, so, as a wise counsellor of mine suggested, treat it as being an interesting experience. Afterall, you are giving yourself the best chance of survival .
Chemo is usually a shitfull experience, but there are degrees of horrible and sometimes even the strongest willed have to stop. Don't give up until you have to.

BWT, you sat in the chair and accepted the cannula with all that entails. You are already a warrior. Mxx

Hi @Siewli  I have just started IV Chemo after years of taking treatment in tablet form. I too felt like you did after my first IV treatment. I wondered how on earth I would be able to put up with this treatment on an ongoing basis. I am now into my second cycle and it is getting a bit easier. I do sleep a lot and get some gastro type side effects as well. Hopefully your body will get a bit more used to the treatment and its effect will subside. Good luck xxx