Day 1

Hi Lynette, sorry to hear oh your diagnosis. There's nothing I can add that to what the others have said. I've had lots and lots of operations but I was still scared. Unfortunately it is the nature of the beast. Take each day as it comes. Some will be good, some not so good and some will just seem to go by. Just know that you will get through this. I have 5 months to go of 14 months of treatment and can't believe how far I've come. Put yourself first, rest when you need to and accept all offers of help and support. Take care and good luck. Karen xox

Hi Lynette, sorry to hear oh your diagnosis. There's nothing I can add that to what the others have said. I've had lots and lots of operations but I was still scared. Unfortunately it is the nature of the beast. Take each day as it comes. Some will be good, some not so good and some will just seem to go by. Just know that you will get through this. I have 5 months to go of 14 months of treatment and can't believe how far I've come. Put yourself first, rest when you need to and accept all offers of help and support. Take care and good luck. Karen xox

Hi Lynette, sorry to hear oh your diagnosis. There's nothing I can add that to what the others have said. I've had lots and lots of operations but I was still scared. Unfortunately it is the nature of the beast. Take each day as it comes. Some will be good, some not so good and some will just seem to go by. Just know that you will get through this. I have 5 months to go of 14 months of treatment and can't believe how far I've come. Put yourself first, rest when you need to and accept all offers of help and support. Take care and good luck. Karen xox

Hy Lynelle, I know exactly how you are feeling.  Being told you have Breast Cancer is really frightening.  Our emotions become a roller coaster of thoughts and fears.  We fear for out future, worry about our family, have anxiety what treatment will do to us, fear whether we can beat this disease and whether it will reoccur in the future.  If you feel sad and feel like crying - cry.  To cry is not a weakness - it is a release.  If you find that you can't stop crying and are suffering from dark thoughts and don't feel like doing anything or seeing anybody and the crying continues, it's important to make an appointment to see your GP or discuss how your feel with your breast care nurse.

It's really quite natural to feel sad or angry when you are first diagnosed with breast cancer.  Don't bottle your emotions as they will only get stronger.  Talk them out if you can.  Talk to your Breast Care nurse or GP, they wlll understand how you feel.  Find a friend who understands.  Write and blog, keep a diary and do keep posting to this site.  All of us here (as you can see from the responses you have received) totally understand how you are feeling.  Just by expressing yourself in words can help you feel better.  Ask your breast care nurse to put you in touch with someone who has suffered or is suffering from breast cancer so that you can chat to them.  There may also be a group in your area that you could join.

There are things we can't control in relation to our breast cancer and treatment, but I found that by researching my cancer and my options it helped me confront my fears.   I've also taken this time in reading all I can about my type of breast cancer (Dr Susan Love's Breast Cancer Book is excellent as is the Mayo Clinic Breast Cancer Book both of which I ordered online) as well as the information booklets from BCNA.   I have written down a list of questions to discuss with my surgeon before I have my re-excision.  (Unfortunately, my first operation did not get clear margins).  I do feel I now know what is happening and have some control over my treatment options.

The last three weeks, for me, have been hellish as my surgeon has been on leave and even though I know my cancer is insitu and non invasive it doesn't stop me worrying.  I've had moments of tears, anger (snapping at everyone) and  feeling really worn down and fatigued.  I worry about  radiation, I worry about clear margins not beeing achieved with my re-excision, I worry that something untoward will be discovered and I worry about losing my breast.  I also worry about ending up like my Mother who really did not have a good quality of life 5 years after losing her breast.  She suffered from heart and lung problems as well as reumatoid arthritis all thought to be due to her radiotherapy! Even though I know that radiography has improved tremendously in the last 25 odd years since her operation it still causes concern - silly I know. but it is something that is difficult for me to shake off.     

Yes, the last few weeks have been some of the most difficult I've ever experienced but I try to be patient but really I am not a patient person but I am slowly learning  to be patient!   Thankfully my GP has been very understanding especially when I ended up in tears in her office earlier this week - she said it was normal to feel as I do especially as I have so much happening.  My breast care nurse has been marvellous.  Both have been extremely supportive and I have found it very helpful to discuss my feelings and concerns.  Sometimes it just needs someone to listen to your thoughts and how you feelIt  as it helps to get them into better perspective.  One of my friends, who also suffered from breast cancer, gave me a personal diary and it has been great to write down my personal thoughts and feelings on a daily basis.  Just looking back on my diary I can see how much I have improved.

I also find that keeping myself active helps if I feel sad or I am getting anxious.  Walking in the fresh air with my dogs invigorates my body and mind and gives me time to myself.  Just sitting outside listening to the sound of the wind in the trees, bird calls, the distant sound of traffic makes me more aware of myself and gives me an appreciation of life itself.  It also hleps me if I watch a funny movie or get together with good friends or I phone my sister in the UK, who always makes me laugh.  Laughter truly is good medicine.  My two dogs will crack me up especially when a blue tongue lizard invited himself into the house.  Their frantic barking had my husband and I racing into the kitchen to find them both jumping backwards as the blue tongue moved towards them.  It was as if he knew the affect he was having on them and I could sear he had a smile on his face!

You are at the start of your journey.  It is a journey that may have many unexpected twists and turns, ups and downs and it will know doubt change you in many ways.  Already I begin to see a change in myself as I move through my journey.  I have become less afraid, more knowledgeable and emotionally stronger though I still have a  way to travel. 

Remember you are never alone.  If you need help, if you have questions seek and ask.  There is nothing wrong in being informed.  There is nothing wrong in seeking emotional help from your GP or breast care nurse,.   They are there to support you just as we are.  Send me an email if you need to talk and if you need someone to listen.  I'll forward my phone number to you.  Hugs.  Sue

 

I felt exactly the same as you do now! As Hazel says,it's probably not much help to you now,but it really DOES get better.I am 16 months past my diagnosis date.I was 59 when I found out,and I had never been in a hospital for anything at all.No operations,no nothing!!!!!! I couldn't focus on anything either, couldn't read a book,not even a long article in a magazine! I found though,that the best thing for me in those early days,was to walk!!! It took my mind off things a bit,and it also helped to keep my body healthy( not only physically but emotionally). This network of ladies was my saviour as well,and whenever I felt upset or stressed,I would come on here for a chat!! Stay in touch and before you know it,things will be changing for the better.CheersxoxRobyn

Hi Lynelle,

I remember that horrible feeling where the world starts spinning and you can't focus on anything.  I think that's normal and I'm still a bit like it three months on.  I did a fair bit of worrying about the big questions in the first few weeks after diagnosis but once you adjust it becomes a matter of just dealing with each of the stages of the treatment program as you go through it.  You get through each day, each appointment, each procedure and you tick them off.  The goal is the end of treatment and that's where I'm headed, one step at a time.

Be kind to yourself.  Plan some treats to encourage you along the way.  When I feel well, I like a walk on the beach or a visit to some markets or even a swim in the ocean (once my new swimsuit arrives).  It's amazing how little treats help.

Cheers,

Natasha

Hi Lynelle,

I remember that horrible feeling where the world starts spinning and you can't focus on anything.  I think that's normal and I'm still a bit like it three months on.  I did a fair bit of worrying about the big questions in the first few weeks after diagnosis but once you adjust it becomes a matter of just dealing with each of the stages of the treatment program as you go through it.  You get through each day, each appointment, each procedure and you tick them off.  The goal is the end of treatment and that's where I'm headed, one step at a time.

Be kind to yourself.  Plan some treats to encourage you along the way.  When I feel well, I like a walk on the beach or a visit to some markets or even a swim in the ocean (once my new swimsuit arrives).  It's amazing how little treats help.

Cheers,

Natasha

I can remember feeling like you. Especially feeling disconnected, the endless waiting etc. I am now 10 months post treatment and feeling good. I realise that's not much help to you, just wanted to say it does get better. Try to take one day at a time, it's difficult, I know, but you can get through this, all the best,

Hazel xx

The shock of this diagnosis hits different people in different ways. Some of us go numb, some can't stop crying, some feel like they are looking at life through a glass window, some just get really angry or scared or despairing. It is hard to focus when you are scared.

When I was first diagnosed I found it helpful to write things down, and to do only one thing at a time because then at least that one thing actually got done. I also found that there were a couple of things that helped. One was spending time walking and talking with a friend who was a very good listener and very kind. Another was reading fast-moving murder mysteries. 

I hope everything goes well for you.

The shock of this diagnosis hits different people in different ways. Some of us go numb, some can't stop crying, some feel like they are looking at life through a glass window, some just get really angry or scared or despairing. It is hard to focus when you are scared.

When I was first diagnosed I found it helpful to write things down, and to do only one thing at a time because then at least that one thing actually got done. I also found that there were a couple of things that helped. One was spending time walking and talking with a friend who was a very good listener and very kind. Another was reading fast-moving murder mysteries. 

I hope everything goes well for you.