Can I do this again?

I hear you. My husband and I were just getting back on track when I was rediagnosed!! Poor Paul he tried so hard to be supportive, but at times he felt there was nothing left to give. I don't blame him, it is often harder being the support person. However that doesn't always help us. Somehow we managed to blunder our way through and come out the other end. A little bit shakier and emotionally drained, but we got there. You will too. The patient transport scheme at the hospital (I am in Far North Qld) can be a nightmare!! I remember breaking down on the phone one day. I had to go to the Wesley as I was doing my chemo privately and had a huge(close to anaphylactic) reaction to taxotare the first time I did chemo.) As there was no oncologist on site my oncologist who flew up from Brisbane once a month wanted me at the Wesley. Well the lady I was dealing with at the patient transport in Cairns was so sarcastic and said she didn't know why I couldn't just do my chemo here like everyone else!! I flipped and asked her if she thought I wanted to leave my family every 3 weeks to have a poison put in my veins that nearly killed me the first time I had it!! She changed her tune after thar and was my new best friend. It's a shame you have to fight for all this financial help. I can't remember exactly how much my scans were. I do know that they bulk billed one and I had to pay the difference on the other one. I think the difference was around $300 or $400. Yours do sound expensive. Mine were through Queensland x-Ray. Maybe you could ask about the bulk billing of one. They might accept your Medicare payment? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Now in regards to the health fund, give them a call as it's not something they advertise(cause that would be smart) but most cover a small part accomodation. I think you need a form filled out from your Dr (my Gp did mine). I know its so much to take in and so much paperwork, I felt like I needed a PA. Just put it all neatly in a file til you are strong enough to deal with it. Lastly the other breast? I was like you and wanted them both off. My surgeon said it was more important to just take the one with cancer in and get it healed pronto so I could start chemo again YAY! He did say however if when it was all over and I was well again if I still felt the same way he would take the other one at the same time as the reconstruction. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Now I am so much stronger and have had time to really research my options and make an informed choice. I am now ready for that surgery. One day at a time is all you can do. Hang in there, it does get better and this site is great. I didn't use it before, and wish I did! Big hugs to you. Paula :)

I had to go to the Wesley hospital for my chemo and the hospital has reasonably priced quite nice accomodation within walking distance of the hospital. Also the hospital transport scheme(your) local Mackay one should cover your transport if it's a must to go to Brisbane. They are a bit tricky to deal with but persevere. Also cover a bit of the accomodation. If you are in a health fund they also cover some. Hope this helps. Here's hoping the liver shadow turns out ok for you. Hugs Paula :)

I had to go to the Wesley hospital for my chemo and the hospital has reasonably priced quite nice accomodation within walking distance of the hospital. Also the hospital transport scheme(your) local Mackay one should cover your transport if it's a must to go to Brisbane. They are a bit tricky to deal with but persevere. Also cover a bit of the accomodation. If you are in a health fund they also cover some. Hope this helps. Here's hoping the liver shadow turns out ok for you. Hugs Paula :)

Best wishes; it almost reminds me of labour, the second time you kinda know what the next 12 hours is going to be like and that birthing experience is different from that knowledge and experience.  How frustrating for you; and i get the years-im not so fussed about 40 years but would really like 10-15! in some part because of where my kids are.  That scared part gets better but then comes up again

best wishes

Thank you Paula. I will try to keep positive. My mum has just arrived from nsw, she is staying with the kids while my husband and I make the trek to brissie. I am a planner, so when thing are out of my control I struggle. I am worried about the cost of accomodation. How we will pay our mortgage and the spot on my liver. I just want to live to see my babies grow up and not send my family broke in the process. It's hard.

Two years ago I had a recurrence just 18mths after my first diagnosis for which I only had lumpectomy/radiation and chemo (only! I did have one lymph node involved). My recurrence was 6 mths after a clear mammogram so I get how scared you are. I went on to have a mastectomy, and more chemo. I am only now planning my reconstruction and yes it will be a tram/diep due to radiation. It was such a scary time, but somehow I managed to get through it and am still here alive and well. I actually recovered better after the mastectomy than my lumpectomy. I think it has something to do with the area being numb so not as much pain. I also adapted well to life with one boob. I have decided to have my other breast off now so hence the reconstruction. Don't get ahead of yourself though, they are decisions you can make later. Just remember you got through this once, and there are lots of us on here who have travelled a similar path. Keep posting if we can help we will. My kids are 12 and 14 so similar age to yours.... Take care and good luck. Paula :)

Two years ago I had a recurrence just 18mths after my first diagnosis for which I only had lumpectomy/radiation and chemo (only! I did have one lymph node involved). My recurrence was 6 mths after a clear mammogram so I get how scared you are. I went on to have a mastectomy, and more chemo. I am only now planning my reconstruction and yes it will be a tram/diep due to radiation. It was such a scary time, but somehow I managed to get through it and am still here alive and well. I actually recovered better after the mastectomy than my lumpectomy. I think it has something to do with the area being numb so not as much pain. I also adapted well to life with one boob. I have decided to have my other breast off now so hence the reconstruction. Don't get ahead of yourself though, they are decisions you can make later. Just remember you got through this once, and there are lots of us on here who have travelled a similar path. Keep posting if we can help we will. My kids are 12 and 14 so similar age to yours.... Take care and good luck. Paula :)

Thank you so much Tonya, it means the world to hear from someone who has been there. I have had ct and bone scans but a suspicious mark has come up on my liver. I arrive in brisbane on Tuesday (from Mackay) to have a PET scan so they can see what it is. All we know is that it is 15mm and wasn't there a year ago. I am by no means suicidal, just very down at the moment and scared. I keep thinking worst case scenario and I know I should try to be positive, but it's really hard. It seems like everywhere you try to get help, you have to jump through hoops, it's ridiculous! I just wanted someone to pick us up from the airport and the woman started banging on about suicide and filling out forms etc,etc. I wanted my breast removed with the initial diagnosis but was told they could get it all. I probably won't be a candidate for a reconstruction because of the radiotherapy and the thickening of the skin. But really, I'm not that phased about losing my boob. I just want to survive for another 40 years, but I'd take 10.