Thank you so much Tonya, it means the world to hear from someone who has been there. I have had ct and bone scans but a suspicious mark has come up on my liver. I arrive in brisbane on Tuesday (from Mackay) to have a PET scan so they can see what it is. All we know is that it is 15mm and wasn't there a year ago. I am by no means suicidal, just very down at the moment and scared. I keep thinking worst case scenario and I know I should try to be positive, but it's really hard. It seems like everywhere you try to get help, you have to jump through hoops, it's ridiculous! I just wanted someone to pick us up from the airport and the woman started banging on about suicide and filling out forms etc,etc. I wanted my breast removed with the initial diagnosis but was told they could get it all. I probably won't be a candidate for a reconstruction because of the radiotherapy and the thickening of the skin. But really, I'm not that phased about losing my boob. I just want to survive for another 40 years, but I'd take 10.