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Nadi's avatar
Nadi
Member
8 years ago

20 minutes, 12 mins, 18 mins, 5 mins, 8 mins. No I am not in labor.

It's 1.33 am and another night where the hot flushes are coming in waves.  20 minutes, then 12 minutes then 18 minutes, then 5 minutes then 8 minutes, then 20 minutes and so on. My leg is out of the covers, a glass of ice beside my bed. The fan is on and then off again every few minutes. I am listening to my husband's heavy snores coming from the bedroom next door and I am jealous and desperately tired. The hot flushes have been like this for 6 nights straight and I am not exaggerating when I say it feels like torture. Last night I had about one and a half hours sleep. Just as I am nodding off a flush would come and wake me up again. Work was so difficult today. I don't know how I managed to drive home without falling asleep at the wheel. I have to be on a flight at 8 am tomorrow, I mean this morning, for a business meeting and I don't know how I am going to get through the day or if I will make sense when giving my presentation. The lack of sleep leaves me very cranky and teary - I alternate between the two. My irritability makes me feel like a two-year old who misses their nap. The frequent crying feels like a depression but I am not quite there yet, not far off though. Next week I fly to Japan for the start of a very long bucket list holiday visiting 6 countries in 6 weeks. To be honest I don't want to go. It's always been my husband's big thing, not mine. The truth is I am just so tired. We are booked on tours and it will be go, go, go. Then I will have to sleep next to him which will be like lying next to a big noisy furnace that wants to snuggle. Today I realised I won't have a fan next to me (a pocket fan won't cut it). I really don't know if I can do it. First world problem though, right? There, rant over. At least I know ladies on this network will understand. It is now 1.48 am and here is the next hot flush coming on <sigh>

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  • June1952's avatar
    June1952
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hi Nadi
    We can all relate to your nights !  Whilst it was not good to be waking up constantly with the hot flushes you can rest assured that underneath the words we can hear the sense of humour you have about it.
    You will be busy when away so the flushes will play a background part of your life.  Go and enjoy.
    Summer  :-)
  • Zoffiel's avatar
    Zoffiel
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hey Nadi, I was awake then too. Not so much flushes as anxiety and the inability to figure out where my arms should go. Thrash, spin, sigh, repeat.
    Regarding the holiday, I can understand where you are coming from. I'd rather be uncomfortable in the comfort of my own home--though I am usually fine when I get going. Then there's  the thought of trying to unpack my extended frame from a airline seat after a long flight when my feet won't function after 10 minutes in the car...shudder. Visions of staggering to my feet, taking two steps, falling to my knees and then suffering the humiliation of the whole plane thinking I was pissed as I thrash around in the aisle trying to get upright...Drugs would be the only answer:) 
    I guess it's too late to apply for a singles supplement. Maybe you can splurge and have a room to yourself for a couple of nights. Don't try and carry the spritzer onto the plane with water in it and pack an extra in your luggage in case some officious idiot decides you are a threat to world safety because you are carting over 30mls of fluid or something that could potentially be a weapon (little do they know we are much more dangerous when denied small comforts)
  • melclarity's avatar
    melclarity
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hey Nadi!

    OMG I know it seems relentless, Im 21 months post Chemo and the flushes definitely settle to what you are having now, but that's not helpful!!! I can relate to everything you said, and all I can think is deep down you're screaming for some downtime and just BE whatever it is you want to do and be for now. I'm guessing the trip you cannot change, however sounds like work is alot of pressure, that you just don't need right now in your life? is there anyway you can put you first? 

    Nadi I remember when I was getting through Chemo, I had to work as am a single parent, but I was so incredibly ill, I fought so hard to keep going in and in the end I had to say STUFF IT!! it will all work out...and I have to put me first. It was the BEST thing I ever did, and since then yes I work, but everything is on my terms, the only way I improved and got the rest I deserved was to stop. 

    Sending hugs xo M
  • Nadi's avatar
    Nadi
    Member
    8 years ago
    Thanks Cath. The spritzer bottle is a great suggestion as it's easy to carry. I'll take a smack down from the from the sleep fairy any day!
  • socoda's avatar
    socoda
    Member
    8 years ago
    Hey Nadine, I'm hoping for you that perhaps being away from your normal environment allows you to have a better sleep. I know when I travel I sleep far better than when I  working.  Crossing fingers that your flushes fade into total insignificance. Can you carry a spritzer to spray yourself with?? I do that for work and find it to be pretty effective. Either way I hope the sleep fairy gives you a good smack in the head with her sleep wand (do mean that in a nice way!!) Xx Cath