WHO do I tell?

I am so sorry for your diagnosis. What an in important questionShae​ .

I am not sure there’s a best way to do it, the one thing I decided against was mentioning my cancer diagnosis on social media. I don’t think I had any obvious photos (ie was wearing beanies). 

Work-wise, it may be shaped by your role. In my case I was heading up a team and in a position with senior responsibilities and a lot of external-facing commitments, so basically I had to share with my immediate professional network (not by social media, but calls or emails) to let them plan for my being unavailable. I think there are some worries about how people receive the information and how it affects perception of your work capabilities but I found it helpful to control the things I would show up for so I could bring my energy to the work or professional commitments, rather than the pressure of being all things on all issues to all colleagues. 

For family and friends, because I have a partner it was easier but I really only told my immediate family, my book group and closest friends. Some friends will be more helpful than others and will understand the boundaries - it’s unavoidable- I just had to remind myself that if a friend didn’t quite “get it” that I knew their good intentions were coming from a place of love and not to feel bad about declining help or a visit or even letting them know I was going offline to get a bit of headspace.

 A dear friend of mine went through this on her own a few years ago and she had a core team who she would email with updates and we basically operated on the understanding that if she wanted her news shared she would have copied others in so we kept her confidence unless advised otherwise. 

The downside for me of being less public for me was people I encountered again after treatment sometimes didn’t recognise me (I lost my hair which was quite distinctive and my hair colour) so then there was a bit of awkwardness having to tell them what had happened!

 My sense is if you do share with a wider group that you can be explicit and say how you would like them to hold the information you’re sharing in confidence and you would find it difficult feeling like you were the subject of discussion about you. I did find the care and affection of my friends and colleagues helped keep me going and on balance I think it was better for me that my friends and associates knew what my situation was and especially what my energy limitations were during the treatment phase. 
sending you all positive energy and vibes for your treatment too.