I've recently been diagnosed. I let the initial shock subside and embraced that part of my brain & personality which is about process and planning rather than panic. So lots of information gathering, talking with close friends and contemplating available choices & options. At this point I am sure of my treatment decision. However one friend in particular has responded by insisting she will help 'cure' me through a range of naturopathic potions, powders & pills. Additionally, she suggested I have not looked after myself in terms of diet and exercise. I do have some appreciation for natural remedies, and as I have a lifelong disability I have always taken care of my nutrition and well being. Whilst I think her approach is well meaning, it's not helpful or respectful. I don't have any family, live on my own and so my close circle of friends are important. But I need to focus on my decisions and choices without gestures and comments that are intrusive or not supportive of my own path. Any advise is welcome, thank you.

Go with your instincts. Nothing you did caused it. If it was all lifestyle then why are there people from so many different ages, genders, backgrounds getting it. There is nothing wrong with holistic therapies as complimentary to everything else. I guarantee it you if it was this person who was diagnosed they may have a complete back flip in attitude. Jeez if we could fix it all with Kale, turmeric and Kumbaya we'd all be home and hosed.

Welcome to the site - @SoldierCrab has links that will help you with the site and the forum in general. Now that you are in this realm of treatment any natural remedies need to be run past your Specialist as some do not agree with medications that we end up on.As to your friend she is obviously into health and well being and figures you're not at her level. She means well but now it is time for you to gently say I need to stick with the health professionals so that I can beat this!Here's a link from the BCNA website so that you can understand a little better your type of Breast Cancerhttps://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/types-of-breast-cancer/Take care

I'm sure you're friend thinks she's being helpful - you may need to gently set her straight and if that doesn't work, not so gently. There's a great ad from the NZ site that may make you see the funny side https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKovm8HINjI ;Saying that, you'll be able to vent and rage, and laugh a bit, here as well as get support and information.

@ValerieLouise sounds like she is saying the cancer is your fault as u haven’t looked after yourself - very insulting!! I would use natural therapies/remedies if needed but in conjunction with traditional treatments but that is just me. U need people around u they are supportive of your decisions regarding your diagnosis and treatment. All the ladies here are great for advice and ideas. Thinking of u xoxox

Please know that you did not cause your cancer, none of us did. This shaming and blaming is not healthy, albeit well intentioned. If you go through this site you will find thst some of us were superfit and living very healthy lifestyles others like me, not so. By your post it sounds like you have been living a healthy lifestyle. I wish you the love and support of compassionate friends. Sometimes one is just all we need. Xo

Well meaning..but not helpful (for me)

13 Replies

Lmc1310
Member
7 years ago
Please know that you did not cause your cancer, none of us did. This shaming and blaming is not healthy, albeit well intentioned. If you go through this site you will find thst some of us were superfit and living very healthy lifestyles others like me, not so. By your post it sounds like you have been living a healthy lifestyle. I wish you the love and support of compassionate friends. Sometimes one is just all we need. Xo
iserbrown
Member
7 years ago
Welcome to the site - @SoldierCrab has links that will help you with the site and the forum in general. Now that you are in this realm of treatment any natural remedies need to be run past your Specialist as some do not agree with medications that we end up on.

As to your friend she is obviously into health and well being and figures you're not at her level. She means well but now it is time for you to gently say I need to stick with the health professionals so that I can beat this!

Here's a link from the BCNA website so that you can understand a little better your type of Breast Cancer

https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/types-of-breast-cancer/

Take care
Kiwi_Angel
Member
7 years ago
@ValerieLouise sounds like she is saying the cancer is your fault as u haven’t looked after yourself - very insulting!! I would use natural therapies/remedies if needed but in conjunction with traditional treatments but that is just me. U need people around u they are supportive of your decisions regarding your diagnosis and treatment. All the ladies here are great for advice and ideas. Thinking of u xoxox

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Well meaning..but not helpful (for me)

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