Waiting, waiting, waiting + frustration
I’m sorry, I’m really making the most of the solidarity here. It’s been almost 3 weeks since my diagnosis (43yr old, Grade 2, ER+ PR+ HER- mixed lobular/ductal) & I’m usually a super patient person, b...
Forum Discussion
Everything you are feeling is absolutely normal, @ruralmum2 .... and sadly this bloody disease mucks with our brains even more than our body, I reckon. You can be fine one day & ratshit the next.
Just try & take each day at a time - try not to get ahead of yourself! Your actual surgery decision will be in consultation with your surgeon ... I went in, prepared to have my breast off - but he reckoned a lumpectomy would 'do it' so I went with his suggestion (I asked him what he would suggest if it was his wife or mother - and it did not change ....) and so far, 6 years later, so good!!
All the best for your scans tomorrow xx
The added distances you need to travel also puts extra pressure on you. Make sure you get your GP to fill in all the forms for IPTAAS .... you'll need one for each specialist/scan/rads that you need to travel more than 100k for (or a combination of 200k in a month (double check that) if there are lots of shorter trips.
As @Blossom1961 says, your kids sound terrific as does your hubby xx Great idea to hand the reins over to a family member/good friend who LOVES a party - your eldest daughter deserves it xx
My brother suggested I take a pic of my boob before surgery (in case it wasn't there afterwards ....) so I did, (just in the mirror in the bathroom.) You could incorporate your hubby in it, as the photographer if you like ... even the girls if you think they are up to it. I continued taking pics afterwards too, at various stages of the healing etc. Being regional, I took pics of anything I was concerned about (as my surgeon was 4hrs away) and sent them to him for consideration, between appointments.
Also, please consider chatting with the helpline here, too - they have a wealth of experience & just talking about it will help xx 1800 500 258 - Mon-Fri. Have you been assigned a Breast Care Nurse yet? They are another point of call too, for support and/or information. xx. When my husband had his cancer surgery in 2010, she sat in on all our appointments in Sydney, arranged all the ongoing appointments & scans & took a lot of pressure off me - which was terrific. She was my rock, even after we came home.
Try & keep yourself busy if you can - maybe you need to take some time off work, if you can - spend time with your kids xx Maybe cook up some meals & freeze them, so you (and they) don't have to worry too much about it when you are in hospital and after you get home. One less thing to worry about later on! ;)
I don't have kids & my stepchildren are in NZ - and my husband had dementia, which added to the mix when I was diagnosed .... I blundered thru xx. My brother & wife took me to the hospital (with hubby) and I BAWLED when I was being admitted to hospital (fear of the unknown, I guess) but once I was in my room I was fine - and AFTER the surgery, it was amazing - the relief was just unbelievable, knowing that 'the beast' was OUT! xx
Have you had a listen to Charlotte Tottman's podcasts yet? She is a BC specialist Psychologist, who had a double mastectomy & stayed flat - who'd been 'counseling' patients for years - but only realised just HOW debilitating a BC diagnosis is, when she was diagnosed herself! Start on No 13 (the first of the first series) then go back to No 1 - the first of the 2nd series. She is incredibly easy to listen to & is very calming xx
https://soundcloud.com/bcna/sets/what-you-dont-know-until-you
take care, look after yourself - you need to put YOU first just now - once you've had your surgery & got your game plan, you will just feel SO MUCH BETTER xxx
Just try & take each day at a time - try not to get ahead of yourself! Your actual surgery decision will be in consultation with your surgeon ... I went in, prepared to have my breast off - but he reckoned a lumpectomy would 'do it' so I went with his suggestion (I asked him what he would suggest if it was his wife or mother - and it did not change ....) and so far, 6 years later, so good!!
All the best for your scans tomorrow xx
The added distances you need to travel also puts extra pressure on you. Make sure you get your GP to fill in all the forms for IPTAAS .... you'll need one for each specialist/scan/rads that you need to travel more than 100k for (or a combination of 200k in a month (double check that) if there are lots of shorter trips.
As @Blossom1961 says, your kids sound terrific as does your hubby xx Great idea to hand the reins over to a family member/good friend who LOVES a party - your eldest daughter deserves it xx
My brother suggested I take a pic of my boob before surgery (in case it wasn't there afterwards ....) so I did, (just in the mirror in the bathroom.) You could incorporate your hubby in it, as the photographer if you like ... even the girls if you think they are up to it. I continued taking pics afterwards too, at various stages of the healing etc. Being regional, I took pics of anything I was concerned about (as my surgeon was 4hrs away) and sent them to him for consideration, between appointments.
Also, please consider chatting with the helpline here, too - they have a wealth of experience & just talking about it will help xx 1800 500 258 - Mon-Fri. Have you been assigned a Breast Care Nurse yet? They are another point of call too, for support and/or information. xx. When my husband had his cancer surgery in 2010, she sat in on all our appointments in Sydney, arranged all the ongoing appointments & scans & took a lot of pressure off me - which was terrific. She was my rock, even after we came home.
Try & keep yourself busy if you can - maybe you need to take some time off work, if you can - spend time with your kids xx Maybe cook up some meals & freeze them, so you (and they) don't have to worry too much about it when you are in hospital and after you get home. One less thing to worry about later on! ;)
I don't have kids & my stepchildren are in NZ - and my husband had dementia, which added to the mix when I was diagnosed .... I blundered thru xx. My brother & wife took me to the hospital (with hubby) and I BAWLED when I was being admitted to hospital (fear of the unknown, I guess) but once I was in my room I was fine - and AFTER the surgery, it was amazing - the relief was just unbelievable, knowing that 'the beast' was OUT! xx
Have you had a listen to Charlotte Tottman's podcasts yet? She is a BC specialist Psychologist, who had a double mastectomy & stayed flat - who'd been 'counseling' patients for years - but only realised just HOW debilitating a BC diagnosis is, when she was diagnosed herself! Start on No 13 (the first of the first series) then go back to No 1 - the first of the 2nd series. She is incredibly easy to listen to & is very calming xx
https://soundcloud.com/bcna/sets/what-you-dont-know-until-you
take care, look after yourself - you need to put YOU first just now - once you've had your surgery & got your game plan, you will just feel SO MUCH BETTER xxx