Hi I'm new to this whole thing, up until 21/2 weeks ago I had never considered breast cancer as a possibility.I found a lump in my breast just after coming back from holiday and went to my GP, she sent me off for a mammogram and ultrasound whilst waiting for the appointment i found another lump under my arm. The results came back with suspected breast cancer so not the best news I've ever had, at my appointment the following week with the surgeon I was categorically told it was breast cancer and was referred for biopsy, CT and bone scan. I had the CT and bone scan last week and my biopsy is scheduled for Thursday afternoon, so I have another appointment a week today to find out my results. Can't say I'm looking forward to the biopsy and am worried it will be painful.I thought I was doing OK and trying to be pragmatic about everything, but had a bit of a breakdown at the weekend which my poor husband bore the brunt of.I can now think of little else other than my results and what's going to happen next and I'm struggling to concentrate at work.Only my husband knows what's going on, I haven't managed to tell my family or friends, most of who live in the UK. When I think about telling them my stomach churns and I feel sick. I've promised myself I'll tell people when I get the full picture next week but it's not something I'm looking forward to.Just feel a bit lost at the momentFrom reading the posts online this is a fabulous group of supportive souls, Thanks

Hi @Lezanne75 Keeping quiet about your diagnosis until you have a handle on what is going on has always seemed like a good idea to me. These first few weeks are a bloody nightmare and if a bit of a browse around this site will teach you anything, it is that nobody, and I really mean nobody, will have your precise diagnosis, timeframe and treatment plan. Once you have a bit of an idea exactly what is going on it will be easier to answer all the questions that your friends and family will ask. Telling other people is really difficult. I've been through this twice and it doesn't get any easier, but it does help if you practice. Which may sound a bit mad, but if you develop a little spiel it may prevent you dissolving into sobs and snot sniffing every time you have to talk to someone. Once you have an idea about what sort of treatment you may need you can package it up into a couple of sentences. Then start crying.If you think the whole UK contingent is likely to want to jump on a plane and come over to help, immediately, it may be worth thinking about appointing someone as travel coordinator so you don't get snowed under while you are trying to find your feet. If your surgeon is right you are probably going to be a very busy woman in the next couple of months. Stage the invasion so you have ongoing support. Marg xxx

just want to thank you all for the support & advice. xx

Welcone.My husband knew. I told only my closest sister of the probable diagnosis as at the time there were other big things happening in my family (a funeral 2 days before Xmas) and I felt best to wait until I had seen the specialist and had a plan before telling all my family. My 2 sons at home were told obce I had biopsy confirmation as I needed to travel away for my appointment. It was hard pretending to be positive when really I was absolutely terrified and devastated about the diagnosis.I coped by planning stuff once I sort of knew the plan.I chose a bilateral mastectomy so I had a farewell boobie party.I set up a initally facebook messanger groups so I could update volumes of appropriate people. ..family groups, close friends etc. They were invaluable as my intial support people as there was always somebody awake when I needed to talk.I went and bought some pj's for hospital and appropriate toiletries for frequent travel. (My surgeon was 500k away)I knew I was having chemo (due to pathology ) so I bought some inexpensive scarves (Kmart) and researched wigs and had a look at some.I wear little makeup so bought some as I wanted to look well even on chemo and I googled chemo makeup guide. I swim...so I researched and purchased mastectomy bathers and a fabric swim cap knowing I'd be bald for a bit.I attended a dentist to have a good check up and clean prior having any treatment started knowing dental care was very important.I bought a diary to keep track of appointments, Dr names and nurse contacts etc. Plus a file to keep all the huge quantity of paperwork you accumulate. (But the my care kit helps with some of this )All these things kept me distracted. It didn't help me sleep, it didn't stop my tears and I ended up stopping work as I was a blubbering mess most days. But I got through...and so will you.You are stronger than you realise and we are here to listen and support as needed. Kath x

So I got my results yesterday, bit of a relief as it could have been loads worse. Bone and CT scans were clear so it hasn't spread anywhere, I have grade 3 Oestrogen+ve and HER2+ve, but they're going to retest to confirm how receptive to HER2 it is. My breast cancer nurse is organising the initial meeting with the oncologist as I'll be having chemo before my surgery, which she thinks will start in the next 2 weeks. We were planning to go to the Caulfield Cup so I'm going to go there before I start chemo. Just worried about the chemo, (how long will it go on for / side effects / being able to work) but at least i know what it is and there is a plan in place (albeit a little hazy) for me to work with.Should have probably taken someone other than my husband tho, he has the attention span of a 2 yr old, but he held my hand very well!!

I'm in the same boat and just found out yesterday. I don't want to tell people as I'm still dealing with it myself. My adult daughter said to me " then just don't tell people yet". Sage advice. I'll talk about it when I want to. Could be days, could be weeks but when I'm ready

Waiting for tests and results | BCNA Online Network

30 Replies

iserbrown
Member
8 years ago
Here's a BCNA resource that may help

https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/talking-to-family-and-friends/
Zoffiel
Member
8 years ago
Hi @Lezanne75
Keeping quiet about your diagnosis until you have a handle on what is going on has always seemed like a good idea to me. These first few weeks are a bloody nightmare and if a bit of a browse around this site will teach you anything, it is that nobody, and I really mean nobody, will have your precise diagnosis, timeframe and treatment plan. Once you have a bit of an idea exactly what is going on it will be easier to answer all the questions that your friends and family will ask.
Telling other people is really difficult. I've been through this twice and it doesn't get any easier, but it does help if you practice. Which may sound a bit mad, but if you develop a little spiel it may prevent you dissolving into sobs and snot sniffing every time you have to talk to someone. Once you have an idea about what sort of treatment you may need you can package it up into a couple of sentences. Then start crying.
If you think the whole UK contingent is likely to want to jump on a plane and come over to help, immediately, it may be worth thinking about appointing someone as travel coordinator so you don't get snowed under while you are trying to find your feet. If your surgeon is right you are probably going to be a very busy woman in the next couple of months. Stage the invasion so you have ongoing support. Marg xxx
iserbrown
Member
8 years ago

lezanne75 said:

Hi Lesley

thanks for your support, i ordered the my journey kit and it arrived yesterday need to make the time to sit with it for a while and take it in.
Thanks for the information about the biopsy, I was starting to get concerned.
Will keep you posted,
thanks again
Lesley (my name too!)xx

@lezanne75
Hi! take your time! The My Journey Kit is a wonderful resource however it is for reading in small sections once perhaps you know a little more about where you are at and pathology results and subsequent treatment. Within is an opportunity to keep a diary, tabs on medical appointments, another for the costs et cetera
On this site there are great resources, like what to pack for hospital, https://www.reclaimyourcurves.org.au/information-sheets.html
as well as defined groups, like Young Women or Choosing Breast Reconstruction and others, dependent on where you are at which may suit you!
There is always someone on line any time of day or night so search around or put up a post like you've done here and someone will respond.
Easier said than done but try and take a few deep breaths and concentrate on now. The what if, how, what, went, where can't be answered definitively. Try and keep yourself busy for yourself, even if it is stocking up the freezer with meals or sitting out on the verandah enjoy a sip of something..................just me time to soak up where you are at! the most important thing is that it has been detected and you are on the road to having it fixed.
Take care
lezanne75
Member
8 years ago
I have had the oddest thoughts that maybe I misheard the doctor, which is ridiculous. I think I'll feel better when I know what I'm up against and what the next steps are. Right now I think I'm just dazed and confused, with thoughts buzzing around that have nowhere to go.
thanks for your thoughts
Afraser
Member
8 years ago
There is absolutely no right way of doing this so do what seems best to you. That probably applies to mostly everything, although I would suggest that your medical team is one thing you should listen to carefully.
I didn't want to tell my daughter till I knew for sure, no point in spreading the worry (I was still hopeful it was all a terrible mistake). Recognising that cancer can happen to you takes time. One of the hardest things is that some of the business seems all very fast and you are left breathless and confused, and some of it (including coming to terms with a changed reality) takes ages. You finally have to just live with that, it's the way it is. Breathe and be assured that once you know what you are facing, it becomes a bit easier. You can focus on what you need to do and that actually helps. This is a good place to talk, nothing is not worth talking about, and it's also a good place to say the things that you may not want to say to those closer to you - whether it's feeling angry, sad or seeing the funny side (there can be one!). Best wishes.
lezanne75
Member
8 years ago
Thanks steplightly, I appreciate your support.

Just seems to have happened so quickly, will try and take a breath of fresh air

Thanks again xx
steplightly
Member
8 years ago
Hi lezanne75 It is a tough place to be here however you will find genuine and caring women sharing generously their support The waiting game is the worst but it is literally step by step all the way I told my husband and best friend first in May the initial stuff then in June when I had a more clear picture told my sons and ither close friends and immediate family So many ynknowns at the start with questions I couldnt answer Understandable the build up of emotion It is so challenging to handle and very understandable your breakdown on the weekend The Bcna network can provide info and support and great resources I wish you all the best in the next few days if exploration and diagnosis Take time to breathe and be kind to yourself xo
lezanne75
Member
8 years ago
Hi Lesley

thanks for your support, i ordered the my journey kit and it arrived yesterday need to make the time to sit with it for a while and take it in.
Thanks for the information about the biopsy, I was starting to get concerned.
Will keep you posted,
thanks again
Lesley (my name too!)xx
nonkyboy
Member
8 years ago
@lezanne75 sorry forgot to say I would hold off on telling family etx until I knew my resukts and what I was facing too. With my immediate family and close friends I told them individually but for the rest of the people in my life I made a Facebook announcement. I don't know if that is an option for you. My daughter lives in the UK so I get how it's hard. I rang her obviously and spoke to her. Xx Lesley
nonkyboy
Member
8 years ago
Hi @lezanne75, first of all welcome. No one truly wants to be here but those that are here are truly supportive of everyone. The waiting period for results is the absolute worst. The biopsy isn't painful so let me put your mind to ease on that. They will give you a local anaesthetic and then do the biopsy. You may feel a twinge or two but nothing too bad.
It sounds like your Drs are onto everything and have organised your scans which is great. Have you ordered your My Journey Kit yet? There is so much information in it and it will be helpful for both you and your husband. I'm sorry I don't have the link but I'm sure someone else will put it up for you. If not just google and it will pop
up. It arrives in a couple of days.
Please ask as many questions as you want to. No question is stupid or silly. There is always someone around who can answer or guide you in. The right direction. All the best for your biopsy and consequent resukts. Let us know how you go. Take care xx Lesley

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