Terrified of what lies ahead!

Thank you for all wise replies! I have another question in regards to who went to the hospital with you? My 15 year old does not want to go to school tomorrow when I am in surgery. What are your wise thoughts around this?
I had the most beautiful morning at work. My work colleagues had decorated my office all in pink. Pink balloons pink flowers, pink stars and a beautiful framed picture that said "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have". I'm feeling so wrapped up in love and kindness.

Thinking of you @CathyMac - you can do this.  The anticipation is always worse than the 'actual'.  You'll look back in a few days & wonder why you are this anxious  xxx

Pre Op Anxiety is totally normal, but try not to overthink it - I was fine til my husband & brother/wife left me at the ward .... then I blubbed big time - the ward clerk gave me a whole box of tissues!   LOL

Take your iPod with headphones & your most loved music, so you are surrounded by lovely music ... and your iPad/tablet - they will have wifi - as it gets bloody boring sitting there after a while, post op!  ;)

take care xxxx

@CathyMac You'll have lovely drugs before and after, and will probably have a button for you to self-administer pain relief in the following days; you can press it as often as you like. You can't overdose. Their machine shows how many times you've used it and you must use it enough to help - don't wait for pain to crush you. 
The worst pain I had was in my shoulder, for some time - maybe even a couple of weeks. It's because they put your arm up  during the whole surgery to give them free access to your breast and underarm, so your shoulder joints and muscles become sore. That was the worst of it for me.
One of my best friends was waiting for me in the ward, with chocolate and ginger beer, and to unpack my bag into the drawers.  :)

You were lucky @Sister to have such a wonderful surgeon.  In the 3 surgeries I had this year I never saw my surgeon once in the theatre. I saw everyone else though and they were awesome.  Maybe he was having a quick coffee before he started.
( I can't believe how many people are actually in the theatre. )  I still remember for the first surgery though the surgeon registrar who was helping rubbed my arm and looked right at me and said everything will be fine and they would look after me. I never saw him again until after my last surgery the following day as he had pulled the short straw in the weekend to check on patients and I told him I had remembered him and what effect his kindness had on me that first time. ( they usually only hear the complaints)  Isn't it funny small gestures make a huge difference when we are at our most vulnerable.
@CathyMac  You will get through this. I can honestly say my mastectomy surgery was not as bad as I thought it would be as I had little pain albeit with the help of some great drugs  LOl. But totally doable. ( I  didn't have reconstruction ) Al the best and big Hugs.  <3

As others have said @CathyMac try focusing on the fact that you are taking control and acting - getting that cancer out of your body.  At the hospital where I had my surgery, they had small balconies off each room with the doors firmly locked.  I can remember joking (or trying) to my surgeon that it was really so we couldn't escape while we were waiting to be taken down to surgery.  I was positive but very anxious - it's normal and if you can be given something for the anxiety, take it.  When the anaesthetist was putting the drugs in one arm ready for surgery, my surgeon was holding the other to reassure me (apparently, it's normal practice for him).

You will get through this.

You can do this Cathy, you’ve got this you are a strong person with a loving family surrounding you.
This is the start of becoming healthy.
Excercise, throw yourself into some housework or gardening to take your mind of things.
Meditation is really good, listen to some relaxation music and concentrate on your breath.
Spoil yourself and get a relaxation massage.❤️
Sending big hugs your way xx

Hi @CathyMac. My advice is to stop trying to project your thoughts forward. How you're going to react to having a body part removed is such an unknown. Instead, focus on today, take note of how they feel, take a photo if you want.

Treating yourself is a good thing to do. Today is the one year anniversary of my diagnosis. I have gone out to breakfast with my husband, had a long sit in a café, something I love to do and find soothing, and right now I'm having a pedicure!

If you really wanted to try to change things up, you could try a kind of cognitive behavioural therapy technique. Each time you think about the mastectomy, turn your thoughts around to what you are gaining. Something like 'I am taking control, I am gaining good health'. When you begin a meditation you are supposed to begin it with intention, not just for yourself, but for those around you, so perhaps add, 'I will be here for my loved ones'. Each time you feel overwhelmed by the thought of Thursday, say your mantra to yourself three times, breathing deeply to calm your nervous system.

Keep your eyes on the prize. And if they offer you the drugs, take them!

I'll keep you in my thoughts. K xox

@CathyMac Maybe a good walk somewhere you like, tomorrow, and a massage? Oh, and pack chocolate. And ask your first visitor to bring you some cold ginger beer. And a proper coffee the morning after, if you're a proper coffee person.
It's good that your surgeon understands your anxiety, so you'll be able to put your trust (and your body) in her hands.
Wishing you strength. xox

So my mastectomy surgery is looming large now. Thursday is not far away and I'm really struggling with surgery anxiety now. I'm trying really hard to project my thoughts past the surgery. I have been at work this morning and am treating myself to a haircut this afternoon . My surgeon knows I'm going to be an absolute basket case when I arrive at the hospital and she has said she will give me something to help me calm down.
Any other advice from you wonderful people?
Thanks for listening.
Hugs Cathy💕

@CathyMac Beautiful photos of your wonderful son and his friends!