Terrified of what lies ahead!

hi Cathy, 
I see you have lots of good advice from others.... 

I will tell you I was diagnosed at 52 single mum with 3 teens at home (2 with autism) 
I am now 6yrs since diagnosis and cancer FREE. 
Was it hard yes  it was but we pulled together as a family unit and with help from friends we got through it. 

CANTEEN  have some great resources for your Teenagers. 

I suggest that Breathe, be honest with your Teens and you will find they will step up in the course of this Roller Coaster ride. 

Soldiercrab 

Oops. I have not figured out how to attach a photo. I'll keep trying.

Here is my gorgeous 18 year old son in pink. 

hi @CathyMac

Posting my helpful links then I will read and reply to other information asked 

Below are a couple of links to help you find your way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet. 

It can be a whirlwind when we first get a diagnosed.... Breathe and take it one step at a time. 

Navigating the online community formerly the what and how thread.

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14879/navigating-the-online-community-formerly-the-what-and-how-thread

Breast Care Nurses

https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx 

My Journey Kits and other resources. 

https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/

BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258

If you have any questions, concerns or require any further information or support please call 1800 500 258. BCNA’s helpline will now be open from 9am-6pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 5pm Fridays.  

 

How to understand your pathology reports

https://www.cancer.org/treatment/understanding-your-diagnosis/tests/understanding-your-pathology-report/breast-pathology/breast-cancer-pathology.html

Hi CathyMac - I was diagnosed seven years ago and phoned my adult son to tell him the news (he lives in Oregon, USA). He replied, 'Gee Mum, how you going to play your hand?' It was gold, the best thing anyone has asked or said in seven years. He was actually suggesting that I needed to think about how and what I was going to do, think and be, how I was going to adjust to a life that had tipped me upside down. Consequently I gave myself permission to be how I needed or wanted to be on any given day, learned to say both 'yes' and 'no'. Cried when I felt sad as the tears release and relax. This forum is also GOLD! I have one suggestion, consider taking someone with you to every appointment and ask them to make notes - I found this invaluable and I was more relaxed as I knew someone else was also listening. I would love to see your son in his pink suit, what a fine young man he must be!

Thank you kmakm. I am very worried for my 14 year old. My 18 year old is out with his dad as I type looking for a pink suit to where to his formal in 2 weeks. He wants to be all decked out in pink in support of his mum's breast cancer journey. He seems to be coping ok at the moment but I will PM you. Lots of love to you❤️

Cathy you are similar to me. I was 51 when diagnosed last year. Three days later my son turned 18, and my daughter was 14.

These two lost two aunts to cancer in 10 months. Next Friday my son does his last VCE exam. I've just asked him if he'd be happy to talk to you if you wanted to speak to a youngster who's trodden this path. He's almost 19 and a good communicator. Let me know at any point if this is something you'd like to do.

Equally I'm happy to chat about any of the kids' reactions, which were all diverse. There's a PM (private message) function here, please feel free to message me there whenever you like.

Don't underestimate your children. They are often instinctive and highly empathetic in their responses. The reports of difficulties with children here tend to skew towards the young adult variety, more than the true youngsters.

If I was in Canberra I'd be asking you out for a coffee! K xox

I remember those feelings well,I had surgery 2days before Xmas 2016. It was an awful time . I had a 13 and 14 year old at the time and was so worried about the future. I became quite depressed ,fast forward to now and thankfully I am cancer free and life has gone on ,at the time it doesn’t feel like it will.i was 40 when diagnosed,I understand how your feeling but know things will get better.like the other ladies said it is better to take each day at a time because I felt like the process takes time even though I was very impatient at time. Also I really benefited from meditation,although I know it’s different for everyone.

Hi Wonk,
So sorry to hear about your holiday being canned as well! I was so devastated about our holiday when I was first told of my diagnosis but have let it go now and am trying to focus on the silver linings. My Tom will now get to go the his year 12 formal and go to his graduation ceremony and I will get to see him graduate high school. I will also not miss all these lovely warm weeks of summer in Canberra after such a long cold winter.
I like you am a very in control person. I work full-time and am the person who runs our household. Surrendering control is going to be very hard, but as I sit typing to you my hubby is doing all the housework.
What did you decide to do on the surgery front? Thank you for the heads up on that front!
I will here for you as we embark on this journey. Just give me a shout if you need to chat.
Sending you love and hugs❤️💕

The time after diagnosis is so difficult to get through - however you achieve it is probably okay.  As others have said, once you have a treatment plan, the world stops whirling as you've got a direction to focus on.  It's good (in a very odd way) to have a few people that are getting on the rollercoaster at the same time as you can ride that beast together.