Cathy you are similar to me. I was 51 when diagnosed last year. Three days later my son turned 18, and my daughter was 14.
These two lost two aunts to cancer in 10 months. Next Friday my son does his last VCE exam. I've just asked him if he'd be happy to talk to you if you wanted to speak to a youngster who's trodden this path. He's almost 19 and a good communicator. Let me know at any point if this is something you'd like to do.
Equally I'm happy to chat about any of the kids' reactions, which were all diverse. There's a PM (private message) function here, please feel free to message me there whenever you like.
Don't underestimate your children. They are often instinctive and highly empathetic in their responses. The reports of difficulties with children here tend to skew towards the young adult variety, more than the true youngsters.
If I was in Canberra I'd be asking you out for a coffee! K xox