Five weeks ago I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in both sides. I have had surgery and have a oncology appointment next week. The pathology result down graded the cancer from 2 to 1 and lymph nodes were not affected. So some good news in a not so good situation. Everyone around me has been so supportive and positive. It is very hard to tell people the emotional devastation I am going through. In the scheme of things my situation is no were near as bad as some and I keep telling my self that I should be greatful for a good pathology result. But still the tears flow.

Never apologise for feelings. This is happning to you and whilst it can be helpful to acknowledge the positives it doesn't take away the fact that. ..you have a diagnosis of breast cancer. ..and with that comes all the fears, tears and unknowns that go with that.We all get it.We are here to support you anyway we can. Kath x

Welcome @May20019 It's true that you have to take the wins where you can but there's no taking away the shock and feeling of betrayal of a breast cancer diagnosis. You will move through this stage but it does take time. You'll find support here from people who understand.

Hi @May20019,Welcome to the forum lovely.There is nothing that can prepare you for the shock and white hot fear of being told you have cancer. Your head and emotions are all over the place at the beginning. I think we all aknowledge the fact that "it could be worse" but that doesn't mean it's not a huge mortality check and scares the heck out of you.Nobody can quite understand how you feel like someone who has been in there. The emotions that run from "I got this" to cloudy fog of despair and tears.We understand where you're at.xoxoxoxo

Hi @May20019. I was white hot with anger for three weeks, and then I sobbed for a month. I'm not joking. I cried multiple times a day. Never in front of the kids, but at any other moment, especially in the shower. I could have won a gold medal for Australia for crying. Ihave a particular back story (read my bio) that provided some extenuating circumstances, but I was a sensible 51 year old woman who previously didn't cry much.My tears slowed down once chemo got underway, but let your tears flow. You are shocked, and grieving. However if you feel you're getting stuck in your grief, go and see a counsellor for a few sessions. It's good to talk things out.What you are feeling now will pass. It's just a pity that we have to go through it to come out the other side. Big, big hug, K xox

The speed things often move at with breast cancer whilst reassuring in some ways (and necessary) leaves us reeling in shock. Five weeks ago your life was “normal”, you probably have barely had time to think, now your brain is catching up and it’s no wonder it’s protesting. Be kind to yourself, there is no such thing as an invalid feeling xx

still in shock | BCNA Online Network

18 Replies

youngdogmum
Member
7 years ago
@CRM happy to help any way I can :) it sure ain't an easy road! Certainly makes it more isolating and feeling like we're the only ones out there our age. The gals and guys on here make us a feel so welcome though and ultimately we all have BC!
Happy to chat privately if you are struggling with some of the issues us younger women face if you need :)
CRM
Member
7 years ago
@May20019 That's great your results got downgraded. I didn't even know that could happen! You got this x
CRM
Member
7 years ago
Thank you @youngdogmum I'm sorry you have been dealt this crappy hand at such a young age but have read your profile and a few of your posts and it sounds like you are powering through treatment like a champion. I will try to channel some of your spirit as I enter this crazy journey x
youngdogmum
Member
7 years ago
@CRM it will feel like that for a while considering how quickly you've had surgery too; it will take a long time to process WTF just happened. Unfortunately it's not uncommon anymore for BC in your 30s, I'm 5 years your junior and personally know two others in their 20s diagnosed same time as me. Anger and frustration as to why it happened so early will always sit there but over time you learn to accept it.
Hang in there for the next steps.
Sister
Member
7 years ago
@CRM It is a shock. The first weeks are so hard as you try to get your mind into a space that can cope. I hope that you have some real-life support but do remember that we are here to help and provide information from our experiences.
iserbrown
Member
7 years ago
@CRM

there's a group that you may benefit from given your age

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women

best wishes as you get your head around it.
Take care
Queendonut
Member
7 years ago
Oh @CRM your world is crashing at the moment but one day at a time and the shock slowly wears off. Sending you positive thoughts for your days ahead.
CRM
Member
7 years ago
I was diagnosed on Monday afternoon. Surgery on Wednesday. I honestly feel in shock that this is happening as I am only 32. I recently moved in with my boyfriend and have started a new career and now I just feel like everything has come crashing down.
Queendonut
Member
7 years ago
Sending hugs and strength- you are still in the whirlwind of shock. Seems obvious but one day at a time- and yes use this forum to gain support and answers for the things we are often too scared to ask in person.
arpie
Member
7 years ago
Yep - it is an emotional roller coaster - there will be ups & downs, so put up any questions re ongoing treatment - someone will surely have an answer or suggestion to help you thru it.

All the best for your Oncology Appt next week - I see my Onc again on Monday!

take care xx

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still in shock

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