Started swearing!

Hi to all you amazingly lovely ladies! Was reluctant to share my story but feel I need to even if it is just to rant for some relief!
I was diagnosed 2nd Dec with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma grade 2 following a routine mammogram. What a whirlwind! I thought the Dr was talking to 'someone else'..I have had so many emotions since. After reading others posts, I feel slightly 'normal'
The main emotions are anger & sadness. I have tried to do all the right things with my health (all natural products, etc) no family history so it really was a shock. I am struggling with the person I am at the moment..I have always been an upbeat, positive, bubbly person but now am moody, teary and have started swearing!! Also, to add to my woes, I finished my permanent job a couple of weeks before the diagnoses (they sold the business) and I am currently working as an enrolled nurse casually therefore lost all my sick leave (had 2 sickies in 5.5 years) bugga!
Ok, that off my chest.. I think I am slowly coming to grips with it as there really is no choice. So I have had all the 'staging' done last week and go back for results of that tomorrow. Then waiting for the lumpectomy/lymph node surgery which is now listed for 10th Jan even though is listed as 'urgent'! Grrr.. Christmas slows everything down. Then there's the ongoing radiotherapy etc. etc. The waiting is definitely the WORST!! I want this thing out of me, get on with it all so I can get on with my life. I know I am an impatient patient!! I know there are thousand's of women who have gone through the same thing..
Please dont get me wrong.. I am VERY grateful for the medical system we have, they have been very thorough and it is early diagnoses with a good prognosis etc I also have a wonderful husband who is very supportive so for that I am truly grateful. After reading some other ladies stories, it makes me feel i'm being selfish, It certainly helps me not feel so sorry for myself at all.
I'm sure I will find positiveness through this time (it is NOT a journey, as a journey is usually a pleasant holiday) lol
It is early days..I hope my next post I will be a bit more upbeat as I find the old Lisa returning! :wink:
To all my fellow BC 'sisters', I wish you all the very best and appreciate this great private place where we can all chat. X

emotions

mammogram

primek
Member
9 years ago
Hope all goes well with surgery...sad for the pathology differences. Mine was diagnosed as grade 2 1.4 mm and ended up being a 1.9mm grade 3 after surgety. I underwent all scans pre chemo commencement. Fortunately they were clear and no nodes evident of disease. Really it is good that they found all those micro cancers and they will be removed and the right treatment will be commenced, as much as we hate the change. Best of luck. Kath x
RNSW
Member
9 years ago
Hi Lisa,
So sorry for your news. I had a similar situation where mine was 10mm after surgery it was 27mm. It is hard to wrap your head around it all. I ended up having 6 months of chemo which wasn't fun.
I just wanted to mainly say good luck with your surgery and sending you hugs.
Best wishes
Rita xo
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Oh I know and my Breast is now a cup smaller than the good one, so with surgery he's going to make it even to match the other but I wanted him to reduce not put more in my left uuuugh lol but he doesn't want to touch my good one. So will have to work hard and get those damn 6kg off that won't budge haha!
Unicornkisses
Member
9 years ago
It makes you wonder what you have to do to safeguard yourself, doesn't it?
taking lumps out every time there is something found sounds a bit extreme, doesn't it.
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Unicornkisses my first diagnosis in 2011, 2 biopsies came back benign. But scans looked suspicious. My surgeon wasnt happy as said biopsies miss half the time or only get a tiny bit of it. He opted immediate lumpectomy thank God!!! I had BC!!! After recurrence in 2015 and same thing biopsies blah blah told nothing. So another lumpectomy. If ever again i would bypass it and just do lumpectomy save myself the pain and mental pain! I hear you..but now having mastectomy cant risk again.
Unicornkisses
Member
9 years ago
Hi lisa50, well, I was feeling for you having to go back for more as the pathology came back so much worse than first thought. And now I am in the same boat. Much worse than first thought!
my findings are in my first post and they have completely taken my surgeon and myself by surprise. Or should I say shock.
how could it have been so wrong the first time?
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Lisa, I have my pre admission appointment this Monday,just waiting on Surgeon to confirm 2 proposed dates in February. Its all getting kinda real now...AAAAAH!!!! When the hospital rang yesterday she also said for me to talk to the Anaesthetist on Monday and all the Team, there will be ways around the nausea and vomiting. Mine is definitely more related to the narcotics as surgery prior to that one I was nauseas but not vomiting. I agree there has to be a plan, am so anxious and the nurse even said as Im having a Mastectomy/Diep Flap recon all in one, its huge and difficult to be vomiting with an abdominal surgery. YIKES!!!

Ohhh I love the Tanty!!!! full body on the floor....that was me last night HAHAHAHA!!!! and I don't care somedays are overwhelming and we are Human...and fear takes over causing so much angst. Once we start whatever we are facing we are always much better. Hugs Melinda xo
Lisa50
Member
9 years ago
Thanks girls! :) Yes, Mel it would be great to sleep until it is over! Do you have a date for your reconstruction yet? You have been through so much!
Scoda, I love the tanty idea...might even try that (carefully of course, as Im still sore!) ;) I have had my fair share of tears as Im sure you all have.
Unicornkisses, my thoughts are with you for tomorrow, please let us know how you go...
I am going to see the anesthetist today to try to find a way of preventing my horrible post-op nausea (14 hours) prior to surgery this Friday. Small things can made a difference!
Hope you all have a lovely day today! X
Unicornkisses
Member
9 years ago
Lisa, my thoughts are very much with you. To have one diagnosis and then have to go back for more surgery is the absolute pits! I feel very much for you as I get my pathology results on Wednesday. I am trying not to think that far ahead and just recover from the surgery for now.
i am so sorry that you should have received that result, and hope you take a little comfort that we are right there beside you.
socoda
Member
9 years ago
Lisa, Sorry to hear your news. It is quite normal to want to run and hide, feel annoyed, cranky, and totally cheesed off!!! First things first - have a humongous cry! If it makes you feel better go for a full blown tanty - throw things (hopefully soft toys), cry, scream if it helps and if you have a soft floor covering you could even go for the full body throw (with leg and arm action! ;) and then when you're exhausted, and calmer and hopefully feeling a bit better you might find it a tiny bit easier to accept - does NOT mean you have to like it in any way shape or form! On a very positive note this Friday is so fast for your surgery to be scheduled so you will be able to get back on track for hearing the all important All Clear!! Sending a huge virtual hug and best wishes. Xx Cath