Hey @melclarity - every girl (and boy) needs their Mum but in times like these - it is so hard.
You are not venting - it is most likely the angst, trepidation, waiting and looking at that calendar with 24/11 clearly marked on it !
Like the countdown to Christmas (without any of the joy) we spend all our time preparing for it and the day finally comes and in your case - reality hits !
Nah, your thoughts aren't stupid at all Melinda - going through the last 5 years on your own (mostly) falsely prepares you into thinking you can do this one too. Finally the last hurdle ...
I totally get how you want your Mum now.
I lost my Mum just over 2 years ago to mbc and whilst I would have loved her around (she gave me so much support during my first diagnosis), in many respects I am glad she is not around for my mbc diagnosis.
She would have blamed herself (which she did when she was diagnosed - "It's my fault that you have it"). No genetic testing was not done - no other recurrence in the family and my Mum was 70 when she was diagnosed.
Will be thinking of you this afternoon Mel.
Light & hugs to you xxx
