Hi @Gin1966,
Your feelings of all consuming worry are normal. Being a planner will be useful. I always requested copies of all of my test results. My mind would race until I fully understood my situation. Only then could I feel somewhat in control. I don't know how some patients are happy to go with the flow and just trust in the 'experts'. Lucky I did insist on keeping track as, in my experience of the public health system, I have had to remind the oncologist of my case every time I see her! (obviously not time to read the file or prepare for appointment). Keep planning!
It will take time, but you will feel more normal again. <3