Welcome @Fletch. I stalked this forum for a few days before jumping in on another newbie's post (can't remember who, now) and introducing myself. It has been an emotional lifesaver for me as well as providing an amazing array of first-hand information from which I have been able to prepare myself or make choices, such as whether to get a port or not (btw if you're having a significant amount of chemo, I would definitely recommend it). I didn't expect chemo to be on the cards originally, either. What started as a partial turned into a mastectomy and node involvement. I also have primary and high school kids - 3 of them. I would suggest being honest because secrets can be far scarier than dealing with the known.
I had 4 x 3 weekly AC and I'm coming up to the last of 12 x weekly Paclitaxol. I won't lie to you - it's been crap (a statement at which my surgeon laughed as he's still waiting for someone to say it's fine) - but it is an achievable marathon. As @finch said, once you know your own regimen we can help you more. I go on to rads in about 4 weeks. Good luck with things and come back whenever you need some sanity.