I think control is the issue as we're not in control and it's frightening. Easy meals are the go still teaching mine to turn on oven or washing machine. They are dab hands at scrambled eggs and cheese toasties but washing up after requires further nagging.
You will be ok but will have to accept their help and let them do more for themselves which I found hard as I liked to be in charge.
Breast cancer aside I am not enjoying year 12 or the transition to adulthood but gather I may not be alone but figure we'll get thru it with more than the odd bit of roof raising - but think thats teenagers. Just wait until they hear the new rules for next year when they are adults sharing a house with other adults who happen to be their parents - year 12 mollycoddling ends mid November . xo