The information available on the Breast Cancer Network Australia website is not medical advice and is provided for information purposes only. It should not be viewed as a replacement for a consultation with a qualified medical professional. Our website is designed to offer information and support to the general public. Be aware that we do not provide any medical advice, and for medical advice we recommend you speak to a qualified medical professional or doctor. 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sure where to turn for advice","id":"message:79626","revisionNum":1,"repliesCount":5,"author":{"__ref":"User:user:5543"},"depth":0,"hasGivenKudo":false,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-newly-diagnosed"},"conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:79626"},"readOnly":false,"editFrozen":false,"moderationData":{"__ref":"ModerationData:moderation_data:79626"},"body@stripHtml({\"truncateLength\":200})":"Having been recently diagnosed with a 7.7cm tumour in my B-cup breast (luminal A, invasive ductal carcinoma) and no detectable tumours elsewhere, I've been scheduled for a mastectomy next week, follow...","body@stringLength":"2563","rawBody":"Having been recently diagnosed with a 7.7cm tumour in my B-cup breast (luminal A, invasive ductal carcinoma) and no detectable tumours elsewhere, I've been scheduled for a mastectomy next week, followed by radiation, and possibly chemo, age 43. I don't want to have a mastectomy or subsequent treatment, for a number of reasons. Psychological firstly. Not having longevity as a goal. Not feeling I can physically show up and consent to disfiguring, aggressive and permanently polluting (of body) treatments - feeling that I'd rather die a natural death. Not fearing death. Not feeling any psychological aversion to what's in my breast, not feeling any pain or physical inconvenience from it currently. And also because if it hasn't spread in all the time it took to get that big, evidence that I've found seems to indicate it's not going to spread. (i.e. cancers between about 6cm and 15cm at diagnosis have about equal chance of also having been found in lymph nodes or elsewhere at diagnosis - the 15cm cancers were once 7cm but no greater chance of spread in all that time? Seems the horse has already bolted and is just hiding out dormant elsewhere in body already, or is just peacefully grazing in its own paddock and will never bolt, so either way what's the point in closing the gate / lopping the tit anyway?) I know this is such an unusual way of thinking and I'm having so much trouble getting relevant advice. If I don't get treatment what can I expect my body to do? I'm also very worried about causing distress to people close to me who still expect me to get these awful treatments, I feel pushed by their expectations to do something major to my body I feel personally averse to, I don't know how to tell them. Wondering how to not distress others in any way, seems to be the cause of the majority of my own distress. Any suggestions for where to turn for more advice, or if anyone has had similar thoughts, or evidence/articles to contradict the idea that cancer spreads early in its development if it's going to at all, or just impressions about this situation you might like to share, I would appreciate it. (I have just started seeing a general counsellor with no cancer knowledge, and have also contacted Cancer Council counselling and made an appointment but that will be in 3 weeks. I don't think they'll have the medical answers I'm after, anyway. More support and sooner and more relevant could be so stress-relieving.) Sorry for long post and weird topic.","kudosSumWeight":0,"postTime":"2025-02-04T02:36:53.000-08:00","images":{"__typename":"AssociatedImageConnection","edges":[],"totalCount":0,"pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null}},"attachments":{"__typename":"AttachmentConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[]},"tags":{"__typename":"TagConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuMnwyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDE","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:chemotherapy","text":"chemotherapy","time":"2025-03-25T05:01:41.190-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuMnwyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDI","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:depression","text":"depression","time":"2025-03-25T05:01:50.372-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuMnwyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDM","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:invasive-ductal-carcinoma","text":"invasive-ductal-carcinoma","time":"2025-03-25T05:02:19.224-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuMnwyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDQ","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:mastectomy","text":"mastectomy","time":"2025-03-25T05:01:41.271-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuMnwyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDU","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:radiation","text":"radiation","time":"2025-03-25T05:02:11.822-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}}]},"timeToRead":2,"currentRevision":{"__ref":"Revision:revision:79626_1"},"latestVersion":null,"metrics":{"__typename":"MessageMetrics","views":319},"visibilityScope":"PUBLIC","canonicalUrl":null,"seoTitle":null,"seoDescription":null,"isEscalated":null,"placeholder":false,"originalMessageForPlaceholder":null,"messagePolicies":{"__typename":"MessagePolicies","canModerateSpamMessage":{"__typename":"PolicyResult","failureReason":{"__typename":"FailureReason","message":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","key":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","args":[]}}},"archivalData":null,"customFields":[],"body":"Having been recently diagnosed with a 7.7cm tumour in my B-cup breast (luminal A, invasive ductal carcinoma) and no detectable tumours elsewhere, I've been scheduled for a mastectomy next week, followed by radiation, and possibly chemo, age 43. I don't want to have a mastectomy or subsequent treatment, for a number of reasons. Psychological firstly. Not having longevity as a goal. Not feeling I can physically show up and consent to disfiguring, aggressive and permanently polluting (of body) treatments - feeling that I'd rather die a natural death. Not fearing death. Not feeling any psychological aversion to what's in my breast, not feeling any pain or physical inconvenience from it currently. And also because if it hasn't spread in all the time it took to get that big, evidence that I've found seems to indicate it's not going to spread. (i.e. cancers between about 6cm and 15cm at diagnosis have about equal chance of also having been found in lymph nodes or elsewhere at diagnosis - the 15cm cancers were once 7cm but no greater chance of spread in all that time? Seems the horse has already bolted and is just hiding out dormant elsewhere in body already, or is just peacefully grazing in its own paddock and will never bolt, so either way what's the point in closing the gate / lopping the tit anyway?) I know this is such an unusual way of thinking and I'm having so much trouble getting relevant advice. If I don't get treatment what can I expect my body to do? I'm also very worried about causing distress to people close to me who still expect me to get these awful treatments, I feel pushed by their expectations to do something major to my body I feel personally averse to, I don't know how to tell them. Wondering how to not distress others in any way, seems to be the cause of the majority of my own distress. Any suggestions for where to turn for more advice, or if anyone has had similar thoughts, or evidence/articles to contradict the idea that cancer spreads early in its development if it's going to at all, or just impressions about this situation you might like to share, I would appreciate it. (I have just started seeing a general counsellor with no cancer knowledge, and have also contacted Cancer Council counselling and made an appointment but that will be in 3 weeks. I don't think they'll have the medical answers I'm after, anyway. More support and sooner and more relevant could be so stress-relieving.) Sorry for long post and weird topic."},"Conversation:conversation:79626":{"__typename":"Conversation","id":"conversation:79626","solved":false,"topic":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:79626"},"lastPostingActivityTime":"2025-02-06T18:02:43.000-08:00","lastPostTime":"2025-02-06T18:02:43.000-08:00","unreadReplyCount":5,"isSubscribed":false},"ModerationData:moderation_data:79626":{"__typename":"ModerationData","id":"moderation_data:79626","status":"APPROVED","rejectReason":null,"isReportedAbuse":false,"rejectUser":null,"rejectTime":null,"rejectActorType":null},"Revision:revision:79626_1":{"__typename":"Revision","id":"revision:79626_1","lastEditTime":"2025-02-04T02:36:53.000-08:00"},"ForumReplyMessage:message:79631":{"__typename":"ForumReplyMessage","id":"message:79631","conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:79626"},"author":{"__ref":"User:user:19566"},"revisionNum":1,"uid":79631,"depth":1,"hasGivenKudo":false,"subscribed":false,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-newly-diagnosed"},"subject":"Re: Not sure where to turn for advice","readOnly":false,"editFrozen":false,"moderationData":{"__ref":"ModerationData:moderation_data:79631"},"parent":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:79626"},"body":"Hi there @ay123.
It’s a real scary ride when first diagnosed I admit to feeling the same as you in the first days after hearing that dreaded C word. Having lost my husband just 14 months before to cancer.
I look back now at all the things I would have missed out on if I had made different choices.
Graduations, New grandchildren and now a great grandchild.
The choice as to what to do is purely yours to make Counsellor helped heaps. I admit I googled too much in the first days. I now know that most of the stuff it says is very negative and outdated. Im glad I found this site. No one judges we can only pass on our own experience and get good resources from professional through the podcasts which all help us along the way.
Yes no one knows whether the cancer has Spread already. Mine did spread (metastatic) but I am still here 8 years later with treatment options still available to keep it under control.
I now focus on enjoying simple pleasures doing what I want and enjoy. I found out im stronger and more resilient than I thought in the beginning my scars are proof of that and they don’t make me who I am as a person.
I do hope you can get through this and definitely contact mcgrath foundation also we have a helpline as well.
","body@stringLength":"1419","rawBody":"Hi there @ay123.
It’s a real scary ride when first diagnosed I admit to feeling the same as you in the first days after hearing that dreaded C word. Having lost my husband just 14 months before to cancer.
I look back now at all the things I would have missed out on if I had made different choices.
Graduations, New grandchildren and now a great grandchild.
The choice as to what to do is purely yours to make Counsellor helped heaps. I admit I googled too much in the first days. I now know that most of the stuff it says is very negative and outdated. Im glad I found this site. No one judges we can only pass on our own experience and get good resources from professional through the podcasts which all help us along the way.
Yes no one knows whether the cancer has Spread already. Mine did spread (metastatic) but I am still here 8 years later with treatment options still available to keep it under control.
I now focus on enjoying simple pleasures doing what I want and enjoy. I found out im stronger and more resilient than I thought in the beginning my scars are proof of that and they don’t make me who I am as a person.
I do hope you can get through this and definitely contact mcgrath foundation also we have a helpline as well.
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