The information available on the Breast Cancer Network Australia website is not medical advice and is provided for information purposes only. It should not be viewed as a replacement for a consultation with a qualified medical professional. Our website is designed to offer information and support to the general public. Be aware that we do not provide any medical advice, and for medical advice we recommend you speak to a qualified medical professional or doctor. 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I don't want to have a mastectomy or subsequent treatment, for a number of reasons. Psychological firstly. Not having longevity as a goal. Not feeling I can physically show up and consent to disfiguring, aggressive and permanently polluting (of body) treatments - feeling that I'd rather die a natural death. Not fearing death. Not feeling any psychological aversion to what's in my breast, not feeling any pain or physical inconvenience from it currently. And also because if it hasn't spread in all the time it took to get that big, evidence that I've found seems to indicate it's not going to spread. (i.e. cancers between about 6cm and 15cm at diagnosis have about equal chance of also having been found in lymph nodes or elsewhere at diagnosis - the 15cm cancers were once 7cm but no greater chance of spread in all that time? Seems the horse has already bolted and is just hiding out dormant elsewhere in body already, or is just peacefully grazing in its own paddock and will never bolt, so either way what's the point in closing the gate / lopping the tit anyway?) I know this is such an unusual way of thinking and I'm having so much trouble getting relevant advice. If I don't get treatment what can I expect my body to do? I'm also very worried about causing distress to people close to me who still expect me to get these awful treatments, I feel pushed by their expectations to do something major to my body I feel personally averse to, I don't know how to tell them. Wondering how to not distress others in any way, seems to be the cause of the majority of my own distress. Any suggestions for where to turn for more advice, or if anyone has had similar thoughts, or evidence/articles to contradict the idea that cancer spreads early in its development if it's going to at all, or just impressions about this situation you might like to share, I would appreciate it. (I have just started seeing a general counsellor with no cancer knowledge, and have also contacted Cancer Council counselling and made an appointment but that will be in 3 weeks. I don't think they'll have the medical answers I'm after, anyway. More support and sooner and more relevant could be so stress-relieving.) Sorry for long post and weird topic.","kudosSumWeight":0,"postTime":"2025-02-04T02:36:53.000-08:00","images":{"__typename":"AssociatedImageConnection","edges":[],"totalCount":0,"pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null}},"attachments":{"__typename":"AttachmentConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[]},"tags":{"__typename":"TagConnection","pageInfo":{"__typename":"PageInfo","hasNextPage":false,"endCursor":null,"hasPreviousPage":false,"startCursor":null},"edges":[{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuM3wyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDE","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:chemotherapy","text":"chemotherapy","time":"2025-03-25T05:01:41.190-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuM3wyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDI","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:depression","text":"depression","time":"2025-03-25T05:01:50.372-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuM3wyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDM","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:invasive-ductal-carcinoma","text":"invasive-ductal-carcinoma","time":"2025-03-25T05:02:19.224-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuM3wyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDQ","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:mastectomy","text":"mastectomy","time":"2025-03-25T05:01:41.271-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}},{"__typename":"TagEdge","cursor":"MjUuM3wyLjF8b3wxMHxfTlZffDU","node":{"__typename":"Tag","id":"tag:radiation","text":"radiation","time":"2025-03-25T05:02:11.822-07:00","lastActivityTime":null,"messagesCount":null,"followersCount":null}}]},"timeToRead":2,"currentRevision":{"__ref":"Revision:revision:79626_1"},"latestVersion":null,"metrics":{"__typename":"MessageMetrics","views":323},"visibilityScope":"PUBLIC","canonicalUrl":null,"seoTitle":null,"seoDescription":null,"isEscalated":null,"placeholder":false,"originalMessageForPlaceholder":null,"messagePolicies":{"__typename":"MessagePolicies","canModerateSpamMessage":{"__typename":"PolicyResult","failureReason":{"__typename":"FailureReason","message":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","key":"error.lithium.policies.feature.moderation_spam.action.moderate_entity.allowed.accessDenied","args":[]}}},"archivalData":null,"customFields":[],"body":"Having been recently diagnosed with a 7.7cm tumour in my B-cup breast (luminal A, invasive ductal carcinoma) and no detectable tumours elsewhere, I've been scheduled for a mastectomy next week, followed by radiation, and possibly chemo, age 43. I don't want to have a mastectomy or subsequent treatment, for a number of reasons. Psychological firstly. Not having longevity as a goal. Not feeling I can physically show up and consent to disfiguring, aggressive and permanently polluting (of body) treatments - feeling that I'd rather die a natural death. Not fearing death. Not feeling any psychological aversion to what's in my breast, not feeling any pain or physical inconvenience from it currently. And also because if it hasn't spread in all the time it took to get that big, evidence that I've found seems to indicate it's not going to spread. (i.e. cancers between about 6cm and 15cm at diagnosis have about equal chance of also having been found in lymph nodes or elsewhere at diagnosis - the 15cm cancers were once 7cm but no greater chance of spread in all that time? Seems the horse has already bolted and is just hiding out dormant elsewhere in body already, or is just peacefully grazing in its own paddock and will never bolt, so either way what's the point in closing the gate / lopping the tit anyway?) I know this is such an unusual way of thinking and I'm having so much trouble getting relevant advice. If I don't get treatment what can I expect my body to do? I'm also very worried about causing distress to people close to me who still expect me to get these awful treatments, I feel pushed by their expectations to do something major to my body I feel personally averse to, I don't know how to tell them. Wondering how to not distress others in any way, seems to be the cause of the majority of my own distress. Any suggestions for where to turn for more advice, or if anyone has had similar thoughts, or evidence/articles to contradict the idea that cancer spreads early in its development if it's going to at all, or just impressions about this situation you might like to share, I would appreciate it. (I have just started seeing a general counsellor with no cancer knowledge, and have also contacted Cancer Council counselling and made an appointment but that will be in 3 weeks. I don't think they'll have the medical answers I'm after, anyway. More support and sooner and more relevant could be so stress-relieving.) Sorry for long post and weird topic."},"Conversation:conversation:79626":{"__typename":"Conversation","id":"conversation:79626","solved":false,"topic":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:79626"},"lastPostingActivityTime":"2025-02-06T18:02:43.000-08:00","lastPostTime":"2025-02-06T18:02:43.000-08:00","unreadReplyCount":5,"isSubscribed":false},"ModerationData:moderation_data:79626":{"__typename":"ModerationData","id":"moderation_data:79626","status":"APPROVED","rejectReason":null,"isReportedAbuse":false,"rejectUser":null,"rejectTime":null,"rejectActorType":null},"Revision:revision:79626_1":{"__typename":"Revision","id":"revision:79626_1","lastEditTime":"2025-02-04T02:36:53.000-08:00"},"ForumReplyMessage:message:79628":{"__typename":"ForumReplyMessage","id":"message:79628","conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:79626"},"author":{"__ref":"User:user:16650"},"revisionNum":1,"uid":79628,"depth":1,"hasGivenKudo":false,"subscribed":false,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-newly-diagnosed"},"subject":"Re: Not sure where to turn for advice","readOnly":false,"editFrozen":false,"moderationData":{"__ref":"ModerationData:moderation_data:79628"},"parent":{"__ref":"ForumTopicMessage:message:79626"},"body":"Dear @ay123
Seeing a counsellor is a good start. That may help you to prioritise a number of strong feelings. If it helps though, many people when diagnosed have no pain or physical inconvenience from their cancer, often felt perfectly fine. That they may then feel very unwell from treatment is an unpleasant and unwelcome irony. But for many, and some much older than you, life is very precious. You are properly concerned about the impact in treatment for you on those close to you. But you might also consider the impact of a protracted and possibly unpleasant death.
I’ve had a mastectomy (no reconstruction) and chemo. I don’t consider myself disfigured - I have the record of an illness and the considerable skill and knowledge that stopped that illness. My body has proved remarkably resilient and endlessly wonderful. I got through chemo with no fatigue or nausea, worked throughout.
But you are the only one really who can make this decision. Your counsellor may be able to assist you in deciding the degree of risk you are willing to take. Deferring your mastectomy for a few weeks may be preferable to deciding against it entirely. These are hard decisions none of us like making but they are still always ours. Give yourself a little more time to reflect on an unwelcome and unwanted situation. Best wishes whichever road you choose.
Seeing a counsellor is a good start. That may help you to prioritise a number of strong feelings. If it helps though, many people when diagnosed have no pain or physical inconvenience from their cancer, often felt perfectly fine. That they may then feel very unwell from treatment is an unpleasant and unwelcome irony. But for many, and some much older than you, life is very precious. You are properly concerned about the impact in treatment for you on those close to you. But you might also consider the impact of a protracted and possibly unpleasant death.
I’ve had a mastectomy (no reconstruction) and chemo. I don’t consider myself disfigured - I have the record of an illness and the considerable skill and knowledge that stopped that illness. My body has proved remarkably resilient and endlessly wonderful. I got through chemo with no fatigue or nausea, worked throughout.
But you are the only one really who can make this decision. Your counsellor may be able to assist you in deciding the degree of risk you are willing to take. Deferring your mastectomy for a few weeks may be preferable to deciding against it entirely. These are hard decisions none of us like making but they are still always ours. Give yourself a little more time to reflect on an unwelcome and unwanted situation. Best wishes whichever road you choose.
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Positive HER2+","conversation":{"__ref":"Conversation:conversation:262791"},"id":"message:262791","revisionNum":2,"uid":262791,"depth":0,"board":{"__ref":"Forum:board:general-newly-diagnosed"},"author":{"__ref":"User:user:2606"},"metrics":{"__typename":"MessageMetrics","views":202},"postTime":"2025-04-01T16:18:36.409-07:00","lastPublishTime":"2025-04-01T16:32:19.065-07:00","body@stripHtml({\"removeProcessingText\":true,\"removeSpoilerMarkup\":true,\"removeTocMarkup\":true,\"truncateLength\":200})":" Hi everyone BCNA Online Network established a Group with Triple Positive breast cancer which is useful also for people who might be HER2+ but not positive for oestrogen or progesterone. 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Umm I came to Melbourne last week from interstate for breast lump testing. It’s confirmed cancer and I am awaiting staging, this week. 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