Newly diagnosed at age 34

Hello lovely @Ro10, thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry to have met you through these channels (it's the 'club' you don't really want to join but I'm so glad we have met!) and I want you to know that you're definitely not alone.  BCNA and all of the amazing women on here are incredibly supportive and have some fantastic advice and guidance which greatly helped when I was diagnosed. I was also 34 years old when I was diagnosed and my daughters were aged 2 and 5. I am very happy and excited to let you know that I just celebrated 5 years cancer free. I hope this gives you some hope :) 
I kept a blog of my journey and am happy to share this with you in case you would like to read it but I completely understand that reading a blog isn't everyone's cup of tea ;)  http://emmataylorsjourney.blogspot.com.au/2011/06/not-what-i-was-expecting.html
In relation to head scarves, I found a fantastic company located over in the USA and they ship to Australia (hallelujah!!). Here is a link for you to check out - https://www.headcovers.com/scarves/
I ordered lots of bright and fun scarves which help me feel young and feminine.
I hope some of this information helps. 
Take care,
Emma
x

Thanks for all your replies. @Ne I actually saw some photos of you after your treatment and I noticed your pretty pink lip gloss in the photos which inspired me to go and get some!
Im facing a dilemma at the moment deciding whether I should actually have chemo or not. I saw my oncologist yesterday and we discussed whether chemo is right for my situation. I have been told that having chemo will only increase my chance of survival by about 2% and as my chance of survival currently stands at over 90% without any further treatment, I'm not sure whether the risks of chemo outweigh the benefits. My oncologist has basically said that its my decision and he can't tell me which way to go and has also said that in my situation, the chemo could do more harm than good! But there's also the possibility that it could save my life! So I have to decide whether I want to accept the risks of having chemo or accept the risk of not doing it and my cancer spreading or coming back. For those of you that have been through chemo, would you have still done it if it was only going to increase your survival chance by 2%?

I'm so sorry you had to join us but you are in the best, safest and most reassuring group you could ever be.  You have already been given heaps of great advice here.  Just also want to say that I too was scared of loosing my hair (39 when diagnosed).  I cut my hair really short in the days before chemo start and then after first round of chemo (hair starts falling out at around day 13-14 from first chemo) I shaved my head at around day 10 to not have to endure the 'fall out in clumps' shock.  It was very empowering to shave it off and I actually really liked it.  I bought a very expensive wig that I never wanted to wear because it hurt and was too hot so that ended up in the cupboard.  I looooooved buying soft colourful scarves to wrap my head in and match my outfits.  It is such a great bonus too that you do not have to spend time on washing and styling your hair.  I just enjoyed slapping on my scarf or cap and off I went!.  You can totally do this and soon you will find your mojo too.  Best of luck with your treatment x.

Ro10 said: "I survived breast cancer so you'll be fine"! She basically refused to give me a referral for an ultrasound because she thought I was overreacting about the family history.

WOW. That is NOT okay. wow. I'm so glad you switched doctors. That's - ridiculous!

Hi Ro10,
I was diagnosed in early April this year, had lumpectomy and currently half way through 6 months of chemo (finished 4 cycles of AC, today just had the 1st cycle of peclitaxol), then radiotherapy for 5.5 weeks and hormone therapy.  It is OK and normal to be terrified and yes, those people telling you "everything will be OK and stay positive" are actually not helpful at all, but they probably don't know what else to say.  Just think that their heart is in the right places.

I have 2 girls aged 3 years and 11 months.  So the most terrifying thing for me is not seeing my girls grow up.  Yes there is a huge battle ahead but I tell myself think of the long term goal - being here to see my girls grow up - then any discomforts a long the way is worth it, truly.  I thought I'd be really sad about loosing my hair, but when the time comes to cut it off (because I was just malting so much I was leaving a hair trail and I got fed up with it), I didn't even care!  I bought a synthetic wig (from Wig Affair) but most days I'm just happy to wear beanie/badandas because it is comfortable and practical (the girls are so grabby).  I know hair loss is temporary and mine has already started to grow back!

For me, to ease any worries or fears about your breast cancer, your medical team (breast surgeon, oncologist and radio oncologist) would be the best people to ask because they have the most intimate knowledge of YOUR breast cancer.  For anything related to chemo, obviously the oncologist would be the one to go to.  I found the chemo nurses are also excellent in knowing the side effects and how to manage them as they hear patients' feedback all the time while the patients are receiving chemo treatments.  Everyone's reactions to the chemo drugs is different so just be mindful and aware of yours, and talk to your oncologist if you have any questions or concerns.

Thanks for all your replies.
@InkPetal, I know what you mean about getting doctors to take you seriously about the family history. The GP I was seeing when I fell pregnant with my daughter told me not to worry about the family history of breast cancer cos I was so young and actually said to me "I survived breast cancer so you'll be fine"! She basically refused to give me a referral for an ultrasound because she thought I was overreacting about the family history. I'm so glad I changed GP's when I got pregnant or they never would have picked up my tumour so early. My surgeon and a cardiologist I saw were absolutely disgusted with this GP's attitude towards it and actually want me to put a complaint in!

I'm  glad you liked the links and hope you can find something suitable to wear. It feels good to have something beforehand.

Hi, I'm about your age with 4 young children, so I know where you're coming from! 

I shaved my head just before starting chemo....and liked it! Kind of felt empowering. My hair follicles were sensitive when it started to fall out for about a week.

i now look like my profile pic with only 2 more chemo sessions to go so I never lost *all* my hair - still also have eyebrows (thinner) and a couple of lashes!

unless I'm expecting to see children I'm usually bald headed, I don't like the feel of stuff on my bare head. After having shoulder length hair I'm really surprised at how little losing my hair bothered me considering how bummed I was thinking about it.

Hello :heart:

I have a family history too and had to nag a doctor to even get taken seriously enough to have an ultrasound. Amazing how differently doctors behave. I lost my mother as well, but she lived with it for six years.

I had the same fears. This is it, the clock has started ticking, if there is anything I wanted to accomplish with my life I had to do them now. I'm still thinking that way, and having life halted by chemo side-effects really impacted me psychologically.

We talk about that a lot here, precisely how we all feel about people telling us to keep our "chin up" or how we'll "be fine" and "stay positive". Get In The Sea. It's cancer not a head-cold you condescending trivializing burrito of a person. Right? :lol: There's a lot of value to it, it's just people trying to be supportive the only way they know how- their letting you know that they are there for you. It doesn't feel any better but we have to remember that the intentions are pure.

I have taken the chemo radio hormone route too.
This still feels insane to talk about, but I won't sugarcoat chemotherapy. There were days I felt like it was killing me, but people three times our age can get through it. You can do this too.

I'm a little late for a radiotherapy appointment so I have to run, but will be back to talk more about how I managed a lot of my side-effects. :heart:

@Ro10 To help you find some information on side effects just click on chemo & side effect . These links will take you to all the tagged conversations on the online network. You could also try searching for these key words. Let me know if you need any help. Ann-Marie