Newly diagnosed at 34yo

Hi Tania

It is so hard to come to terms with what is happening.  I am 31 and ate healthly and exercised daily but it's just a random thing, it's not anyones fault that we have this.  I was convienced (the doctor also made it out to be nothing).  Thing was, I was 5 weeks pregnant on my second when I was diagnosed so it was thought it was hormones and change in breast because of the pregnancy.  My tumour was 10mm and I also had dcis.

I am very suprised that your doctor didnt send you for tests sooner, I was sent for a biopsy the day after I told my GP and had a fine needle biopsy 3 or so days after that.

It's very hard to destract our minds from it, just talk to someone about how you really feel and there are programs for kids whose parent has cancer so maybe that may help them more through it.

Best wishes X

Laura

Thanks Louise, I have heard the good old fruit tingles mentioned a few times now Xx 

I had a fibroadenoma in my left breast and was told over and over that it was fine. Then one year when I was 35, I was told that I had BC.  It wasn't the adenoma but very close to it.  I was angry, sad, confused etc.  It's ok to have those feelings.  It's not fair! 

I hope you can manage the chemo over Christmas.  Never a great time to have any kind of treatment!  I found cheese and onion crisps and fruit tingles were my friend during chemo!  I couldn't taste anything else!!  Not healthy but you can worry about that after you have finished treatment.

Good luck with all of your treatment and give those kiddy winks lots of cuddles!

Louise x

Yes I can understand and relate.  There is a lot of anger at all of it and a lot of pain and tears.  I was diagnosed in March this year on my 43rd birthday actually, with HER2, it had spread to the nodes lungs and bones.  It was 4cm flat tumour on the chest wall so I had no chance of finding it till it caused a lump under my arm with a bout of a 2 week flu.  I was furious moreso for my 6 year old son. This wasnt fair and it isnt.  No one should go through this especially a child.

I too was super healthy and you know what that mindset helped me with getting through the treatments and appointments.  I walked everyday whilst on chemo except the first and last treatments because I just couldnt.  Even if it was just 10mins I forced myself.  I ate well, no sugar, no dairy, no processed foods.  I researched all good cancer fighting foods and ate those.  I am doing veggie and fruit juices daily.

I got support and asked for help and accepted help.  I had family and friends visiting the house to keep my son occupied and support us. I had meals brought to me and the list goes on. I was now the number one priority and people were there to help.

My son had just started kindergarten when I was diagnosed very tough.  I told the school who then sent a discreet note to the kindy parents telling them what was happening and it was confidential.  My son doesnt know he is too young to understand. The mums rallied and sent meals delivered to the house twice a week for about 3 months or as long as I needed.  I never asked for help, fiercely independent but now you need it and its important for your recovery.

I have had surgery and finished radiation today actually.  It was a fight.  I had 6 rounds of chemo and the last round had a test and they said no more treatment you are stable but the chemo isnt reducing the cancer so no point with more chemo, no surgery, no radiation. I knew what that meant, they werent giving me long even with herceptin every 3 weeks.  I thought they were wrong, got a second and third opinion. Had surgery pathology showed no sign of cancer the chemo had worked.  I have been cleared of cancer on the lungs it isnt cancer. The bones are still in dispute but believe it was there somewhere but they say its gone. How amazing!

I have cried so much and felt so beaten down by all of it, felt like giving up. What made me fight was my son and your children will drive you to fight this and beat it anyway you can and you will because you already have the right mindset.

Cry when you need to, get angry, get scared all of it just talk to someone about it. It was a grieving process for me. People wont think to ask you, they dont always know what to say but keep talking and get that support. Surround yourself with positive people and leave those who arent, you dont need it. Pity is of no use.

Feel free to email me or message me if you need a chat during treatment.

All the best.

You have every right to be.  That is so so unfair. Jeez life sucks soetimes! You sound like a strong determined and intelligent person and I'm sure the fact that you have been living such a healthy lifestyle will help you fight this thing. Keeping my fingers crossed for you. Very very best of luck to you Tania.